Durable laptops.

Right after loosing it with my useless acer laptop for the last time this evening and hammering it into submission (it felt so good btw blue screen that you PoS) im now in need of a new laptop.

Im not computer savvy at all so im looking for your suggestions on a replacement.

Some simple requirements.

NO MACS i will break them within a week.

£450/$900 max budget

Dont care how heavy it is though i would like it to be portable as it was a pain getting the 19" monster out at the airport security.

Preferable able to take some smashy smashy style punishment.

There might even be a bundle of smokes for the best answer and by best i mean the one i buy.