I was talking to a stranger...

[Blak Smyth]

I received a few random texts from the wrong number, eventually I started to reply this is the conversation word for word (not really a joke but I found it funny):




Stranger: I cant come anymore so i wont be at the game
Stranger: I . you!
Stranger: guess whats my background?!
Stranger: Hi madison
Me: You have the wrong number
Stranger: well thats unfortunate because i have a really interesting story
Me: Okay let's hear it. Maybe I can make up a true story to rival yours.
Stranger: Who says my story isnt right?
Stranger: well you see everything is see on twitter is like **** you guys and i hate you. then skeye comes up to me today and she says why does madi hate me i didnt even do anything and since her and robert effed on the couch... that i was on too (it was wierd) and she was just done talking with hayden it was a mess just waiting to happen
Me: I am not interested in your story. It sounds like the plot of every teenage vampire movie out there.
Stranger: fine then is yours anymore interesting? i doubt it
Me: I ordered two African swallows, just waiting for them to clear customs. My goal is to train them to transport coconuts. I will tie a string around the coconut and have one swallow hold each end of the string. I fear that a coconut will be entirely too heavy for a single swallow.
Stranger: i've had that same problem and its not that hard to fix
Me: Hmmm I have pretty much run out of options. What was your strategy?
Stranger: You tie 4 swallows to the coconut so none of them get tired and if one of them die its ok because you have 3 more to deliver the coconut.
Me: Seems like overkill. Im not talking about regular swallows. Im talking about African swallows. They are far more reliable than our native swallows but also twice as expensive.
Stranger: simple do the same thing as my plan but you get money by selling someone you don't really like into human trafficing and you can get 1 million if you really try to someone that they want and boom you got coconut transporting swallows
Me: Human trafficking... Hmmm that just might work. I can lure somebody with waffles and then yank them from everything they know and subject them to a life of violence and disrespect to get my birds, ultimatley allowing me to transport coconuts.
Stranger: sounds pretty good to me and lure them with scones they work better than waffles.
Me: So you want some scones?