The Waiter

[ktblunden]

Jack goes to his favorite restaurant and sits at his table perusing the menu. When the waiter comes out he asks what the waiter would recommend. The waiter replies, “Well, our special today is a nice harvest squash soup. It has a wonderful creamy texture and the chef finishes it off with just a touch of nutmeg. It’s really is fantastic and we’re selling a lot of it today.” Jack thinks about this for a second and decides that on this brisk Fall day a nice bowl of soup really does sound perfect. He replies that he will definitely have the soup. “Very good, sir, I’ll have that up for you in just a minute,” the waiter replies, and goes off to the kitchen to put in the order.

A short time later Jack sees his waiter bringing a bowl of the same soup to a nearby table. He must admit that it looks really good and the aroma coming off the bowl is absolutely mouth-watering. Then he notices that the waiter has his thumb in the bowl of soup! How unsanitary! The waiter removes his thumb and sets down the bowl at the nearby table. The waiter leaves the table and the hungry customer, completely unaware of the waiter's transgression, digs into his soup with gusto. Jack is outraged at this and decides to keep a close eye on the waiter when he returns with his own soup.

A few minutes go by and the waiter comes out of the kitchen again with another bowl of soup and heads toward Jack’s table. Jack can easily see that the waiter once again has his thumb in the bowl! The waiter arrives and sets the bowl down, asking, “Will there be anything else, sir?” Jack replies in an angry tone of voice, “Now wait just a second! You had your thumb in my soup as you brought it out. What’s the big idea?!”

The waiter replies in a patient, somewhat condescending tone, “Well sir, I have recently sprained my thumb and my doctor’s orders are to keep heat on it at all times. Your soup just happens to be at the perfect temperature to soothe my injured thumb. Therefore, I used it to ease my pain as I brought it out.

Jack is nearly apoplectic at this point and replies in an even angrier tone, “I don’t care about your injury, what you are doing is unsanitary! Why don’t you just go stick your damn thumb up your ass?!!”

The waiter replies in an even more patient and slightly more condescending tone, “I did sir, but I had to take it out to bring you your soup.”