I'm at the Crossroads-Help me Decide

I'm solidifying deals with all the different cigar outfits and I am overwhelmed by their kindness and enthusiasm. After two years of pure hell, I find myself sniffling like a little girl. Several are excited that I will be writing as Kat. No censorship. Pure freedom.

Last week, the State of Wisconsin manned up and gave me Medicaid. Everything is virtually free now. I truly believe that all of the support and good thoughts spewed forth from CA helped. Yeah, I'm an old hippie.
I have such severe pain issues because of the skydiving accident... and in the last 2 years, things have gotten so much worse. I saw a doctor today and he ordered MRI's for my back and neck. I'm seeing another doc next week for a complete physical.
Of course, I'm afraid of what they may find. But it's better to worry about that then continue in this miserable existence. I'm just a big whiny baby.

To all my buds, thank you for your kindness. You're all like family.
Thanks.