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12-05-2010, 10:01 AM | #1 |
JAFO
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Political Correctness Update
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans, Carolinians, Missourians, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'Hillbillies.' You must now refer to them as 'Appalachain-Americans.'
The following new phrases should also be utilized: 1. She is not a 'Babe' or a 'Chick'. She is a 'Breasted-American.' 2. She is not 'Easy.' She is 'Horizontally Accesible.' 3. She is not a 'Dumb Blonde.' She is a 'Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway.' 4. She has not 'Been Around.' She is a 'Previously-Enjoyed Companion.' 5. She does not 'Nag' you. She becomes 'Verbally Repetitive.' 6. She is not a 'Two-Bit Hooker' She is a 'Low Cost Provider.' 7. He does not have a 'Beer Gut.' He has developed a 'Liquid Grain Storage Facility.' 8 He is not a 'Bad Dancer.' He's 'Overly Causcasian.' 9. He does not 'Get Lost All The Time.' He 'Investigates Alternative Destinations.' 10. He is not 'Balding.' He is in 'Follicle Regression.' 11. He does not act like a 'Total Ass.' He develops a case of 'Rectal-Cranial Inversion.' 12. It's not his 'Crack' you see hanging out of his pants. It's 'Rear Cleavage.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Got this email this morning there are actually a few in here I hadn't heard before. Enjoy!
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A lost SOTL wandering the weird landscape of domesticity. |
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