what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? - Page 6

T.G · 08-16-2010, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by longknocker

Wow!!!! Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner For That Feat, Brother!

Yeah, I won the dunk dumbass award for that one for sure.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Subvet642

What went wrong was they were delivered.

Yup.

neoflex · 08-16-2010, 08:21 PM

I actually forgot another one that was absolutely terrible. Put it down after an inch because it smelled like ammonia. It was a Victor Sinclair something or other. Can;t believe I forgot about that one.

08-17-2010, 02:54 PM

Dunhill Signature robusto.... it was as if someone lit dirt, rubbed in black pepper and jammed it in my (cotton)mouth.

357 · 08-17-2010, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

Cremosa Cubana, hands down.

Runners up:

Tamboril
Gurkha Regent
Fauxhiba at SHV

Tinderbox has them on sale!!!
http://www.tinderbox.com/Cremosa-Cubana-Cigars

08-17-2010, 07:13 PM

Anything Te Amo

E.J. · 08-31-2010, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by E.J.

I started smoking cigars about a year ago and really have not had a "worst cigar". Though admittedly have not strayed far from what are generally considered good cigars.

Way back, before I started smoking cigars, I had what must have been hundreds of crappy cigars....though have no idea what they were.... They were the exact reason before last September, regardless of the cigar offered, I probably would have declined due to my previous experiences....

P.S. I was belly laughing at Tom's reviews.... Funniest thing I have read in weeks, maybe longer...

Let me revise my last post......... This was the worst cigar I can remember smoking.....

http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=35844

yourchoice · 08-31-2010, 10:25 PM

Easy question for me. Gurkha Vintage. Tasted like cardboard...but the cardboard of a greasy pizza box. Awful. And unlike many, there are a couple Gurkhas I like.

St. Lou Stu · 08-31-2010, 10:25 PM

Olor Fuerte Lonsdale

SaltyMcGee · 08-31-2010, 10:25 PM

Cremosa Cubana at the PPPP during Shack Herf VI. I'm pretty sure there was arsenic in it.

Drew Estate Java was a close second.

Isom-niac2 · 08-31-2010, 10:57 PM

Don't recall the "actual" name of the cigar, but the circumstances how it came about tell all!!! I had a ride-along at work one night and we got to talkin about cigars, so he comes up with the bright idea to grab a couple sticks and have a smoke. Okay here is where you wanna grab the barf bag from the seat cushion in front of you...

Its late and I know there's not a legitimate place to buy a cigar within 20 miles, so he demands that we stop at a liquor store/dougnut shop/ video store. He grabs a couple of so called cigars from the counter display and we head back to the veranda at work. I fiddled with that friggin grotesque piece of bark and weeds for over an hour, before I finally had to tap out!! I thought my taste buds would never speak to me again!!

08-31-2010, 11:37 PM

La Aurora Barrel Aged.

Bought a box back in my NC days.

Smoked one.............reminded me of belly button lint and toe jam wrapped in a used vacuum cleaner bag.

Seems to me I sold the rest..............happily.

Funny how a cigar can make you think of licking the dogs ass just to get the taste out of your mouth.

Adriftpanda · 09-01-2010, 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

Cremosa Cubana, hands down.

Runners up:

Tamboril
Gurkha Regent
Fauxhiba at SHV

I kinda want to try the Tamboril now... not sure about the rest but been hearing how awful those really are, makes me want to try it even more! Anyone have one laying around they are will trade?

jdakine · 09-01-2010, 04:16 AM

Almost fell off my chair while reading this post, damn good writing Icehog

Tamboril

I decide to smoke the Tamboril in the parking garage near where I work. Pulling the cigar from its cellophane jail, I swear I have seen this cigar before. Finally, it comes to me…it is just the same as the Cuban Cohibas I bought from the guy walking the beach in Cancun last summer. A squeeze reveals a spongy construction, much like a contraceptive sponge prior to insertion.

Pre-light draw

The pre-light draw is a taste to remember…its what I imagine sucking powdered goat feces through a straw made of petrified moose $hit might taste like. I contemplate quitting the contest and sending Dave back his extra smokes, but decide that if I can have a root canal with no anesthesia, I can smoke this cigar.

The smoke

As I toast the end, the smell of the Killing Fields of Cambodia is what I perceive. All the pain and torture endured there seems only slightly worse than the experience I am beginning. The first draw fills my mouth with smoke that would be better suited for a fire at a tire factory, but I press on, knowing that I must help Dave find some answers to his dilemma. My head begins to pound like a headboard in a Ginger Lynn movie, but I puff again, trying to keep the smoke in and the bile down. The cigar is burning sideways and fast, and finally I can take no more. I see a homeless man walking by in his filthy clothes, and I ask him to spit in my mouth to take away the taste of the Tamboril. He obliges and the stale taste of Mad Dog 20/20 and Virginia Slims is a welcome change. I offer him the remainder of the cigar as a reward for his kind gesture, and he slugs me square in the mouth. The mixture of my own blood and the Mogan David remain with me on my journey home for the second part of my adventure.

Cremosa

I take the Cremosa out of its wrapper, and am immediately overwhelmed by the scent of Miss Locascio’s house. Miss L was the woman on our block with 72 cats, 3 ferrets and a nasty flatulence problem. The cigar feels harder than the mattress at the Motel 6 and has the same color as the middle of horrorview’s prescription thong.

Pre-light draw

The pre-light draw feels looser than an Irish hooker on St Patrick’s Day. I long for the taste of spit and blood again as I taste the rancid pork washed down with spoiled milk flavor that the Cremosa offers.I shudder as I reach into my pocket for my lighter. As I contemplate my next move, Chevy Chase appears on my shoulder…”See the cigar, hog….be the cigar”….I flick my bic.

The smoke

The smell of the cigar is a familiar one….the smoke smells like the water that leaks out of a dumpster behind a Mexican restaurant on a 95 degree day. My head swims with irrational thoughts….”should I slit my wrists?”….”should I eat a bullet?”…..”should I watch 'American Idol'?”. Finally, sanity creeps back in, and I rush to the sink. No time for the Drew Estates Dave included as a palate cleanser, I reach for the Liquid Plumber and greedily chug from the bottle. The second degree burns scorching my tongue bring welcome relief from the taste of the Craposa. In the ambulance, the paramedic asks ”what is that rancid pork and spoiled milk smell on your breath”, even as he stabilizes my vital signs. I will live, he tells me, and by the way, he found my cigar and saved it for me. I wonder if they will have any sharp items in my hospital room?

So the loser… or the winner…of the worst of the worst…Cremosa. Thanks a lot Dave…I will send you the hospital bills.

sevans105 · 09-01-2010, 05:17 AM

My worst had to be an ACID Nasty....the write up swore it was full of Chocolately goodness. THEY LIED. Holy cow was that an exercise in fortitude. I bought it at a B&M and paid WAY too much for it....like 12 bucks, so I couldn't just toss it, although I should have. I thought I was gonna die. I wished I would have. It was bad bad bad bad bad bad.

massphatness · 09-01-2010, 05:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SvilleKid

Gurkhas are Opus beside Cremosa's.

Negative. Having done a side by side comparison of the Gurkha Viper with a Cremosa at this year's Shack PPPP, I can say with absolute certainty that the Viper is the worst tasting cigar. Ever.

neoflex · 09-01-2010, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverFox

Funny how a cigar can make you think of licking the dogs ass just to get the taste out of your mouth.

That's pretty serious!

Skywalker · 09-01-2010, 08:15 AM

Tamboril!!!

neoflex · 09-01-2010, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mahtofire

Anything Te Amo

Sadly, it is this brand that I smoked way back in the day when I first started smoking. I would walk into a B&M and always grab a couple of these and Punch Maddies.

jmsremax · 09-01-2010, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaltyMcGee

Drew Estate Java was a close second.

Thanks for reminding me how bad these were......a close second to Ghurka IMO. Then again I only have a few years of smoking under my belt so it could change.

TheStatsGuy · 09-01-2010, 10:35 AM

I thought the Cremosa was just a tad worse then the Gurkha Viper from the PPPP but both made me yearn for one of the dogs turds to get the taste to go away.

08-16-2010, 08:21 PM	#102
neoflex I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Nov 2008 First Name: John Location: Monroe, NC Posts: 2,765 Trading: (32)	Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? I actually forgot another one that was absolutely terrible. Put it down after an inch because it smelled like ammonia. It was a Victor Sinclair something or other. Can;t believe I forgot about that one. __________________

08-17-2010, 02:54 PM	#103
AFPNate Guest Posts: n/a	Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? Dunhill Signature robusto.... it was as if someone lit dirt, rubbed in black pepper and jammed it in my (cotton)mouth.

08-17-2010, 07:13 PM	#105
mahtofire Guest Posts: n/a	Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? Anything Te Amo

08-31-2010, 10:25 PM	#107
yourchoice Down the stretch Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Joel Location: South Jersey Posts: 4,091 Trading: (36)	Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? Easy question for me. Gurkha Vintage. Tasted like cardboard...but the cardboard of a greasy pizza box. Awful. And unlike many, there are a couple Gurkhas I like.

08-31-2010, 10:25 PM	#108
St. Lou Stu Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tim Location: Belleville, IL (St. Louis) Posts: 2,304 Trading: (21)	Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? Olor Fuerte Lonsdale __________________ Pretending to play golf since 1989

08-31-2010, 10:25 PM	#109
SaltyMcGee Gone munting... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jared Location: C-Bus, OH Posts: 334 Trading: (3)	Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? Cremosa Cubana at the PPPP during Shack Herf VI. I'm pretty sure there was arsenic in it. Drew Estate Java was a close second. __________________ "It's a simple question doctor, would you eat the moon if it were made of ribs!?"

08-31-2010, 10:57 PM	#110
Isom-niac2 puff puff pass Join Date: Oct 2009 First Name: Deano Location: Santa Clarita Posts: 136 Trading: (1)	Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? Don't recall the "actual" name of the cigar, but the circumstances how it came about tell all!!! I had a ride-along at work one night and we got to talkin about cigars, so he comes up with the bright idea to grab a couple sticks and have a smoke. Okay here is where you wanna grab the barf bag from the seat cushion in front of you... Its late and I know there's not a legitimate place to buy a cigar within 20 miles, so he demands that we stop at a liquor store/dougnut shop/ video store. He grabs a couple of so called cigars from the counter display and we head back to the veranda at work. I fiddled with that friggin grotesque piece of bark and weeds for over an hour, before I finally had to tap out!! I thought my taste buds would never speak to me again!!

08-31-2010, 11:37 PM	#111
SilverFox Guest Posts: n/a	Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? La Aurora Barrel Aged. Bought a box back in my NC days. Smoked one.............reminded me of belly button lint and toe jam wrapped in a used vacuum cleaner bag. Seems to me I sold the rest..............happily. Funny how a cigar can make you think of licking the dogs ass just to get the taste out of your mouth.

09-01-2010, 04:16 AM	#113
jdakine Sawadee Join Date: Sep 2009 First Name: Jay Location: Republic of Maui Posts: 2,481 Trading: (34)	Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? Almost fell off my chair while reading this post, damn good writing Icehog Tamboril I decide to smoke the Tamboril in the parking garage near where I work. Pulling the cigar from its cellophane jail, I swear I have seen this cigar before. Finally, it comes to me…it is just the same as the Cuban Cohibas I bought from the guy walking the beach in Cancun last summer. A squeeze reveals a spongy construction, much like a contraceptive sponge prior to insertion. Pre-light draw The pre-light draw is a taste to remember…its what I imagine sucking powdered goat feces through a straw made of petrified moose $hit might taste like. I contemplate quitting the contest and sending Dave back his extra smokes, but decide that if I can have a root canal with no anesthesia, I can smoke this cigar. The smoke As I toast the end, the smell of the Killing Fields of Cambodia is what I perceive. All the pain and torture endured there seems only slightly worse than the experience I am beginning. The first draw fills my mouth with smoke that would be better suited for a fire at a tire factory, but I press on, knowing that I must help Dave find some answers to his dilemma. My head begins to pound like a headboard in a Ginger Lynn movie, but I puff again, trying to keep the smoke in and the bile down. The cigar is burning sideways and fast, and finally I can take no more. I see a homeless man walking by in his filthy clothes, and I ask him to spit in my mouth to take away the taste of the Tamboril. He obliges and the stale taste of Mad Dog 20/20 and Virginia Slims is a welcome change. I offer him the remainder of the cigar as a reward for his kind gesture, and he slugs me square in the mouth. The mixture of my own blood and the Mogan David remain with me on my journey home for the second part of my adventure. Cremosa I take the Cremosa out of its wrapper, and am immediately overwhelmed by the scent of Miss Locascio’s house. Miss L was the woman on our block with 72 cats, 3 ferrets and a nasty flatulence problem. The cigar feels harder than the mattress at the Motel 6 and has the same color as the middle of horrorview’s prescription thong. Pre-light draw The pre-light draw feels looser than an Irish hooker on St Patrick’s Day. I long for the taste of spit and blood again as I taste the rancid pork washed down with spoiled milk flavor that the Cremosa offers.I shudder as I reach into my pocket for my lighter. As I contemplate my next move, Chevy Chase appears on my shoulder…”See the cigar, hog….be the cigar”….I flick my bic. The smoke The smell of the cigar is a familiar one….the smoke smells like the water that leaks out of a dumpster behind a Mexican restaurant on a 95 degree day. My head swims with irrational thoughts….”should I slit my wrists?”….”should I eat a bullet?”…..”should I watch 'American Idol'?”. Finally, sanity creeps back in, and I rush to the sink. No time for the Drew Estates Dave included as a palate cleanser, I reach for the Liquid Plumber and greedily chug from the bottle. The second degree burns scorching my tongue bring welcome relief from the taste of the Craposa. In the ambulance, the paramedic asks ”what is that rancid pork and spoiled milk smell on your breath”, even as he stabilizes my vital signs. I will live, he tells me, and by the way, he found my cigar and saved it for me. I wonder if they will have any sharp items in my hospital room? So the loser… or the winner…of the worst of the worst…Cremosa. Thanks a lot Dave…I will send you the hospital bills. __________________ Live your life to the fullist and smoke your favorate cigars

09-01-2010, 05:17 AM	#114
sevans105 Alpha Zombie Wolf "Sceve" Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Scott Location: Southern Minnesota Posts: 1,786 Trading: (30)	Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? My worst had to be an ACID Nasty....the write up swore it was full of Chocolately goodness. THEY LIED. Holy cow was that an exercise in fortitude. I bought it at a B&M and paid WAY too much for it....like 12 bucks, so I couldn't just toss it, although I should have. I thought I was gonna die. I wished I would have. It was bad bad bad bad bad bad. __________________

09-01-2010, 08:15 AM	#117
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? Tamboril!!! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

09-01-2010, 10:35 AM	#120
TheStatsGuy I'm a proud Masshole Join Date: Sep 2009 First Name: Tim #4 Location: Somewhere, WMASS Posts: 288 Trading: (17)	Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? I thought the Cremosa was just a tad worse then the Gurkha Viper from the PPPP but both made me yearn for one of the dogs turds to get the taste to go away. __________________ Why is it a dog rocket and not a cat crater?