Why so hateful lately?

[icehog3]

Originally Posted by Don Fernando

this topic sucks

in all seriousness, Carlos has a point. There has been some negativity here lately, but I think it's just a phase. Cigar Asylum is hitting puberty. Things will turn positive again soon, there are too many great botl's and sotl's to let the negativity win.

We had periods like this from time to time on Club Stogie as well...but in the end, Love and Brotherhood always won out.

[Blueface]

Originally Posted by icehog3

We had periods like this from time to time on Club Stogie as well...but in the end, Love and Brotherhood always won out.

Sure has.
I love you man.
Come on down so I can insult you in person and we can smoke a cigar.

[Don Fernando]

yeah Tom. Get your ass to Florida, but do it in november when I am around. Would love to smoke with you, and we can both pick on Carlos at the same time

[mash]

Originally Posted by icehog3

We had periods like this from time to time on Club Stogie as well...but in the end, Love and Brotherhood always won out.

You're right. I think the only thing we can agree on is that we hate the Hawks. Byfuglien especially.
FWIW Carlos, I am on other cigar boards where the things you mention are much, much worse. Maybe I'm not opening up the right threads, but I think people here are respectful and restrained.

[bobarian]

I guess I dont gravitate to those threads because I have not seen those words(moron, gay, stupid) in any recent threads. All boards have their ebbs and flows, as new members come on board they sometimes need to "test" the waters. Others after being members for a certain period feel more comfortable voicing their opinions(no matter how wrong they might be). I tend not to read reviews anymore, because I know my tastes. But there are a few members whose opinions I value on any subject whether it be cigars, beer or life. I tend to seek those out and bypass the rest.

[bvilchez]

I agree with Carlos. This thread though might be in reference to another thread where I posted something being 'gay'. IMO I personally feel that it was dumb. I thought we can post on this forum without reproach. If it offended others I apologize but I was just posting how I felt about the topic.

If others feel the same way and are offended then sorry. I'll refrain from posting where others might be offended.

Carlos I'll PM you shortly.
Posted via Mobile Device

[markem]

I think that this happens from time to time on the best of boards.

My thinking is that the more it is tolerated or ignored, the more it takes hold.

[Mugen910]

Originally Posted by bvilchez

I agree with Carlos. This thread though might be in reference to another thread where I posted something being 'gay'. IMO I personally feel that it was dumb. I thought we can post on this forum without reproach. If it offended others I apologize but I was just posting how I felt about the topic.

If others feel the same way and are offended then sorry. I'll refrain from posting where others might be offended.

Carlos I'll PM you shortly.
Posted via Mobile Device

Jay stop being so g.. uhm silly...

[The Poet]

Carlos my brother, I would take this personally, if I could take a hint.

In all seriousness, I feel the line between busting somebody's chops and busting their 'nads may indeed be crossed on occasion, here and in "real" life. But I myself tend to take everything said on the 'net with the whole cellar of salt. If something cheeses me off, I try to simply take a breath and let it go.

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[Blueface]

Originally Posted by bvilchez

I agree with Carlos. This thread though might be in reference to another thread where I posted something being 'gay'. IMO I personally feel that it was dumb. I thought we can post on this forum without reproach. If it offended others I apologize but I was just posting how I felt about the topic.

If others feel the same way and are offended then sorry. I'll refrain from posting where others might be offended.

Carlos I'll PM you shortly.
Posted via Mobile Device

Jay,
Don't even think twice about it.
Now I feel like I owe you the apology.
I swear I didn't mean to call out anyone and if I selected a word for this example that brought you out, that is not what I wanted.
I just used that one word as an example.
It is not about that one word. It is just a message to all to just think before you post.
I personally am not offended but I can see how some are.
I have chosen to bring something to light just to make sure it doesn't go the wrong path.

Originally Posted by markem

I think that this happens from time to time on the best of boards.

My thinking is that the more it is tolerated or ignored, the more it takes hold.

Right on point.
I have a relatively thick skin so my life goes on just dandy. I am not offended and not the reason for this thread.
If this thread makes each and every one of us think for a moment and remember it occasionally, it served the intent.
As someone else posted, things get lost behind a keyboard and often times misunderstood. From there, complicated further as emotions fly.
Just bringing some light to it.

[neoflex]

I haven't really noticed anything but I really haven't been on too much the last few weeks just due to lack of free time to jump on the web. This is by far my favorite message board just because everyone is so down to earth and doesn't cut each other down for their opinion and is so friendly to each other. I think in general written words can be taken wrong just because it is hard to tell the tone of a post by just reading what the poster wrote and this a lot of times leads to misinterpretation and can lead to hard feelings when the original message is meant in good fun. Hell I know I have done it with a friend on another board who lives local and sometime I'll call him and be like WTF? Why are you cutting me down on the board? He would than explain it and more often than not I interpreted the tone wrong but sometimes he was being a d*ck. All in all I think the Asylum has a great group. Not nearly the BS that goes on, on other BBs.

[icehog3]

Originally Posted by Blueface

Sure has.
I love you man.
Come on down so I can insult you in person and we can smoke a cigar.

Originally Posted by Don Fernando

yeah Tom. Get your ass to Florida, but do it in november when I am around. Would love to smoke with you, and we can both pick on Carlos at the same time

That sounds like a definite plan, Gents.

Originally Posted by mash

You're right. I think the only thing we can agree on is that we hate the Hawks. Byfuglien especially.
FWIW Carlos, I am on other cigar boards where the things you mention are much, much worse. Maybe I'm not opening up the right threads, but I think people here are respectful and restrained.

I love me some Byfuglien.....I was reading about him today when I went into the bathroom to take a nice big Pronger.

Originally Posted by bvilchez

I agree with Carlos. This thread though might be in reference to another thread where I posted something being 'gay'. IMO I personally feel that it was dumb. I thought we can post on this forum without reproach. If it offended others I apologize but I was just posting how I felt about the topic.

If others feel the same way and are offended then sorry. I'll refrain from posting where others might be offended.

Carlos I'll PM you shortly.
Posted via Mobile Device

For the most part, yes, Jay....but we don't allow slang that is offensive based on gender, race or sexual orientation. Some of them slip bu the ToE, but if we see them, they get zapped. Hope you understand.

[Mugen910]

Originally Posted by bvilchez

I agree with Carlos. This thread though might be in reference to another thread where I posted something being 'gay'. IMO I personally feel that it was dumb. I thought we can post on this forum without reproach. If it offended others I apologize but I was just posting how I felt about the topic.

If others feel the same way and are offended then sorry. I'll refrain from posting where others might be offended.

Carlos I'll PM you shortly.
Posted via Mobile Device

Originally Posted by Blueface

Jay,
Don't even think twice about it.
Now I feel like I owe you the apology.
I swear I didn't mean to call out anyone and if I selected a word for this example that brought you out, that is not what I wanted.
I just used that one word as an example.
It is not about that one word. It is just a message to all to just think before you post.
I personally am not offended but I can see how some are.
I have chosen to bring something to light just to make sure it doesn't go the wrong path.

You two wanna kiss and make up now or is that too .... aw man I'm just beggin to get banned

[bvilchez]

Originally Posted by icehog3

That sounds like a definite plan, Gents.



I love me some Byfuglien.....I was reading about him today when I went into the bathroom to take a nice big Pronger.



For the most part, yes, Jay....but we don't allow slang that is offensive based on gender, race or sexual orientation. Some of them slip bu the ToE, but if we see them, they get zapped. Hope you understand.

I gotcha.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Blueface]

I didn't realize it until this moment that this thread has served to prove a point that some may have missed while others see as clear as day.

If one reads all the posts you will note some agree while some don't in terms of the original post.
If you then consider what most large companies repeatedly preach to their employees, you will understand it does not matter what YOU think about what you said or did.
What matters is how what you said is interpreted by the person perceiving it.

Again, for me, not a big issue as I don't see where I could ever be offended by what one types but truly intended to just bring light that not everyone feels the same and not everyone perceives things as you do.

Just a bit of employee HR training for CA at no charge.

[poker]

Great post Carlos.


Rule #3 here at Cigar Asylum starts off saying:

Have fun here and practice respect and tolerance with others. Respect is the key word.

Often times many of the really offending posts are removed rather quickly by one of the admins before the masses even see them (it helps with 11 of us). We dont get them all, but we try.

We try to treat everyone like the adults they are and many times turn a "blind eye" of sorts to somewhat borderline posts. Of course, "borderline posts" is the way we see them but they may be actually offensive to some while meaning nothing to another. We cant make everyone happy, so we leave it up to the individual to decide if they want to keep reading the post/thread or not.

In a perfect world we would all get along. Unfortunately its not a perfect world, and Cigar Asylum is part of that imperfect world we all live in. Individuals will argue, not like another member for what ever reasons, etc. here, just like in real life.

All I can suggest is to "be the better man". Easier said than done I know, and sometimes being the better man doesn't always mean being right.
I'm sure you'll feel better about yourself in the end though and have a more enjoyable time here in this place we call home.

[croatan]

Well stated, Kelly (as always).

There are some topics that just seem to, by their nature, invite people to forget the old adage about opinions and assholes. By not allowing politically-related content, that cuts out a lot of these opportunities, but some people will still find ways to pound us with whatever point they think is so crucial for us to know and agree on.

Sometimes, those types of posts remind me of the blathering vitriol you'll find reading the comments section of any recent news story or blog--often nearly incoherent internet badasses who feel the need to belittle everyone who disagrees with them, regardless of the amount of reflection and analysis (or lack thereof) they've put into whatever opinion they hold so staunchly. It's disappointing that that kind of thing happens here occasionally (and I do think it is merely occasionally--I think that posts here are overwhelmingly positive).

But the good thing is that, if patterns hold true (and they usually do), the people who make those kinds of posts usually realize that's not how things are done here and either conform to the standards and norms of the community or find themselves somewhere else to hang out and spout off.

[MiamiE]

Originally Posted by Mugen910

maybe Carlos you are a bit sensitive or you are reading too much into other's comments?

You obviously don't know Carlos!

[JE3146]

As was told to me long ago by a very wise woman (mom). It's not the action that will get you in trouble, but the reaction.

Now this applies to an extent, because obviously ALL people need to be held accountable for their actions, but also their reactions.

The internet will be the internet. This thread sparks some paranoia in my own mind because of certain events that transpired. And by no means am I pretending to be innocent, but I'm also not alone in my guilt. That wise woman above also said "It takes two to tango."

There will always be quarrels, differing of opinions, spiteful remarks and things said that become personal whether intentional or unintentional. The fine line in all this is intent. It's also the hardest to decipher from internet conversation. Things can scale to a point where the argument is no longer about the topic, but more of pride, or job, or family.

In the end it's all useless banter. And in the end what matters is how you come away from it. Whether by offering amends, or simply walking away all together. In a community that many refer to as family, the latter imo is rather ridiculous.

And to the person who reads this... and he knows who he is. Offer is still on the table.

My .02 from the unwise age of 24.

[AD720]

I try to base all my interactions here on one fact and that it is that I never know who I am going to meet in person next. I've herfed with a bunch of you guys and I wouldn't say anything on here I wouldn't be comfortable saying to someone's face or that would make me uncomfortable about if I happen to meet someone in person after.

Like these guys above said, respect is what it's all about. Carlos thanks for the reminder.