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Old 06-04-2010, 12:37 AM   #1
PuffdaMagic
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Default at the ATM machine

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines
enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been
developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and
withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up..
7. Drive off.


*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine..
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of
chequebook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine..
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
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Old 06-04-2010, 09:00 AM   #2
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Old 06-04-2010, 10:26 AM   #3
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Default Re: at the ATM machine

So true!!!
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Old 06-04-2010, 12:12 PM   #4
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Default Re: at the ATM machine

this is great!
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Old 06-04-2010, 01:01 PM   #5
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Default Re: at the ATM machine

Nice!!
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Old 06-04-2010, 01:27 PM   #6
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Default Re: at the ATM machine

LMAO
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Old 06-04-2010, 06:58 PM   #7
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Old 06-04-2010, 07:00 PM   #8
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Default Re: at the ATM machine

Oldie but still a goodie for sure.
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Old 06-04-2010, 07:05 PM   #9
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Default Re: at the ATM machine

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueface View Post
Oldie but still a goodie for sure.
Maybe an oldie for an "alta cocker" like you, but it's a newbie to me and I still think young even though my body is telling my brain "guess again"...
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Old 06-04-2010, 07:37 PM   #10
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Default Re: at the ATM machine

Funniest thing I've read in awhile
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Old 06-04-2010, 09:34 PM   #11
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Default Re: at the ATM machine

Number one reason I don't use drive through atm machines!!!
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Old 06-04-2010, 09:37 PM   #12
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Default Re: at the ATM machine

Nice
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Old 06-05-2010, 12:30 PM   #13
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Old 06-05-2010, 12:38 PM   #14
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Wife is laughing her @ss off!
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Old 06-05-2010, 12:52 PM   #15
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Awesome
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Old 06-06-2010, 01:20 PM   #16
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Default Re: at the ATM machine

Glad you guys like it
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Old 06-15-2010, 09:01 AM   #17
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Default Re: at the ATM machine

Nice, and so true. Damn funny I will save that one for my wife. She will get a kick out of it.
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