Funny Tobacco Reviews

[Neuromancer]

Courtesy of cutshot at brothersofbriar.com:

Originally Posted by cutshot

Maybe I have a strange sense of humor but I sometimes find myself laughing out loud while reading some of the bad reveiws on tobaccoreviews.com Below are actual comments of various tobaccos on the site. I will not mention the name of the blends being reviewed but some of these are funny...

- Upon taking a whiff from the tin, I debated whether to partake of the contents with my pipe or a spoon. After mulling it over, I chose my pipe. Wrong choice.

- If wet, hot and gooey sounds good to you, you'll crave this stuff.

- Tastes like melon rinds. If this appeals to you - you will like it.

- After loading up and lighting up, I determined the leaf was better left in the tin.

- Tobacconists in Denmark recommend this blend as an introduction to pipesmoking - maybe this is why you do not see young people smoking pipes anymore...

- never been bitten as bad as from this tobacco, like pouring boiling water into your mouth!

- Bah, if prisoners of war had to smoke this, it would be a violation of the geneva convention!

- My local tobacconist gave me a free pouch of this to try. I want my money back!

- I opened the tin and to my total disappointment got a harsh smell of incense to fumigate dead bodies. You get the picture. I thought maybe it will smoke better than it seems, but guess what... Barfing bag needed.

[Jack Straw]

Those are great!

[boom]

Kinda partial to the wet hot and gooey....

[Curly Cut]

man, i haven't been back to brothersofbriar in a while, since prior to the election...
i think i forgot my password. lol

[Paulmac]

My favorite is still:
The taste of salted leather. The faint musk of slaves rowing in the galley below deck. Burning pyres to the ancient Sumerian gods in Babylon.

All these come to mind...*continues*

[Jack Straw]

LOL

I once saw a review that began something like "I have not smoked this particular tobacco, but..."

[Mister Moo]

Middleston Hickory at tr.com - loved it.

"I am sad that this mulch is gone. For the life of me I don't know why I continued to buy it for so many years. I would still buy it if it was still being made. This stuff is heavily flavored and cased with a plethora of chemical additives but it doesn't taste too bad .. I assume that the flavoring is some kind of Hickory extract which seems to cover the taste of some real low grade tobacco. There is supposed to be some Virginia tobacco in the mixture ... possibly floor sweepings from a cigarette manufacturer not enough to get past the chemicals though. Despite all that I still enjoy this on a summer night ... it keeps the mosquitoes and gnats away.

When you open the pouch it is too wet to smoke so you have to dry it out for a few days. It packs easy and burns well. Be careful, it could make your tongue feel like the space shuttle's re-entry shield if smoked vigorously.

Not a bad offering for what it is but I wouldn't recommend this for beginners, it might turn them off to pipe smoking."

[RevSmoke]

Although I have never personally tasted it, the blend made me think "this is what smoking old kitty litter would be like."