Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-04-2010, 05:01 PM   #1
BlackDog
Gonna make you groove...
 
BlackDog's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Warren
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 2,468
Trading: (19)
BlackDog is a jewel in the roughBlackDog is a jewel in the roughBlackDog is a jewel in the rough
Default Farm Humor

8 year old Jonny lives on the family farm with his parents. One particular morning, he is annoyed as all heck that he has to get up so early and feed the animals. On his way into the chicken coup, a hen gets under his foot and trips him up. He gives the chicken a swift kick to get it out of the way. When he enters the pig pen with a bucket of slop, the pigs rush in around him and knock him down into the mud. Getting up, filthy, he grabs the now empty slop bucket and bops one of the pigs on the head with it. When he tries to open the cattle gate to toss out some fresh hay, the cows are all so anxious for their food that they are crowding around and won't let Jonny open the gate. After smacking several of the cattle on their heads to get them to move, he's finally able to get in and finish his feeding routine.

Once he gets cleaned up back in the house, he heads downstairs for breakfast, where his mother has set out a bowl of dry cereal for him. Puzzled, Jonny asks his mom "Hey, what's this? I usually have milk in my cereal and a side of bacon and eggs. What's going on?"

His mother explains "I saw you kick that chicken this morning; For that, you won't be having eggs for a week. I also saw you hit one of our pigs with the slop bucket; For that, you won't get any bacon for a week as well. And when you went out to feed the cows, I saw you hitting them instead of being patient and trying to move them calmly; For that, no milk for two weeks."

Grumbling, Jonny starts picking at his dry cereal. Just then, his father is coming down the stairs for his breakfast when the cat runs between his legs, nearly causing him fall down the remaining 7 stairs. Aggravated, he winds back and kicks the cat out of the way. Jonny looks up from his cereal and asks his mom "Do you want to tell him, or should I?"
__________________
"We live in the good of this."
BlackDog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2010, 08:23 PM   #2
CBI_2
Have My Own Room
 
CBI_2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Paul
Location: In my skin.
Posts: 2,066
Trading: (0)
CBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: Farm Humor

__________________
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff
CBI_2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2010, 08:38 PM   #3
Col. Kurtz
Have My Own Room
 
Col. Kurtz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Jerry
Location: South Appleton
Posts: 1,839
Trading: (26)
RA
Col. Kurtz has a spectacular aura aboutCol. Kurtz has a spectacular aura aboutCol. Kurtz has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Farm Humor

No Chinese food for a week?
__________________
Artillery Lends Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be a Vulgar Brawl
Col. Kurtz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2010, 08:42 PM   #4
marge796
It Just Doesn’t Matter!!!
 
marge796's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
First Name: Chris
Location: Topeka KS
Posts: 1,624
Trading: (28)
Cuaba Navy (Served With Honor)
marge796 will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Farm Humor

__________________
“Don’t talk to me about naval tradition. It’s nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.” -Sir Winston Churchill
marge796 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2010, 08:56 PM   #5
ucla695
Neither here, nor there
 
ucla695's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: The Pool
Posts: 3,696
Trading: (5)
Montecristo
ucla695 has disabled reputation
Default Re: Farm Humor

ucla695 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2010, 09:14 PM   #6
bookman
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Farm Humor

Nice!

Hey, what do you call a farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A bigamist.
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2010, 10:56 PM   #7
MedicCook
Mila smoked my cigar
 
MedicCook's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Ryan
Location: Schaghticoke, NY
Posts: 10,946
Trading: (7)
LGC
MedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud of
Default Re: Farm Humor

__________________
27 World Series Championship's
"If your wife doesn't like the aroma of your cigar, change your wife.", Zino Davidoff
MedicCook is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2010, 03:21 PM   #8
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Farm Humor

Good one.
__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2010, 03:56 PM   #9
G G
BR549
 
G G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: Taylor, FL.
Posts: 12,725
Trading: (10)
Bolivar
G G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant future
Default Re: Farm Humor

Very nice, Johnny is a very perceptive 8 year old.
G G is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2010, 05:14 PM   #10
Blindjimme
Judgement Impaired
 
Blindjimme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: JB
Location: North OC, CA
Posts: 790
Trading: (14)
Partagas Navy (Served With Honor)
Blindjimme will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Farm Humor

Now that's just good!
Blindjimme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2010, 10:22 PM   #11
CasaDooley
Herf Crew of 2
 
CasaDooley's Avatar
4
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Kevin
Location: The birthplace of Fathers Day
Posts: 2,465
Trading: (41)
HUpmann Navy (Disabled Vet)
CasaDooley has a spectacular aura aboutCasaDooley has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Farm Humor

meouch!
__________________
Founding member of the Lilac City Dedicated Herfers
CasaDooley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2010, 10:34 PM   #12
Mr.Erskine
Looking up
 
Mr.Erskine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
First Name: Benjamin
Location: Dover, DE
Posts: 297
Trading: (1)
Mr.Erskine is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Farm Humor

That's awesome
__________________
Cornbread... Ain't nothin' wrong with that.
Mr.Erskine is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:22 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.