Why I Fired My Secretary

CBI_2 · 05-21-2009, 09:21 PM

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought...

Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... they will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way "Happy Birthday!"

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !"

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we ?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there... on the couch... naked.

dunng · 05-21-2009, 09:24 PM

I love that one!

kelmac07 · 05-21-2009, 09:28 PM

Oops!!

colimo · 05-22-2009, 01:07 AM

like that one

Swampper · 05-22-2009, 01:40 AM

Har!

WildBlueSooner · 05-22-2009, 09:14 AM

DPD6030 · 05-22-2009, 12:14 PM

but did anyone pop out of the cake!

themoneycollector · 05-22-2009, 12:32 PM

Itchy clothing and couldn't find the restroom rofl

rennD · 05-22-2009, 12:46 PM

holee molee

JE3146 · 05-22-2009, 12:50 PM

oh that is good
Posted via Mobile Device

karmaz00 · 05-22-2009, 04:23 PM

lol..good one

G G · 05-22-2009, 08:42 PM

awesome.

05-21-2009, 09:21 PM	#1
CBI_2 Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Paul Location: In my skin. Posts: 2,066 Trading: (0)	Why I Fired My Secretary Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... they will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way "Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !" We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we ?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday". And I just sat there... on the couch... naked. __________________ "The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff

05-21-2009, 09:24 PM	#2
dunng MassHole Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: MassHole Posts: 4,719 Trading: (59)	Re: Why I Fired My Secretary I love that one! __________________ MassHole Banter

05-21-2009, 09:28 PM	#3
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Why I Fired My Secretary Oops!!

05-22-2009, 01:07 AM	#4
colimo friend of Brother Maynard Join Date: Mar 2009 First Name: doug Location: centennial, colorado Posts: 1,322 Trading: (41)	Re: Why I Fired My Secretary like that one __________________ Life is too short for cheap beer, cheap liguor and bad cigars...gimme a guinness, glenlivet and a good cigar on a golf course and its heaven on earth!!

05-22-2009, 01:40 AM	#5
Swampper Still Watching My Back Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Indian Territory Posts: 108 Trading: (0)	Re: Why I Fired My Secretary Har! __________________ Flying like a cement kite.

05-22-2009, 09:14 AM	#6
WildBlueSooner I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: James Location: Lexington, KY Posts: 3,322 Trading: (19)	Re: Why I Fired My Secretary __________________ "To dilute the will to win is to destroy the purpose of the game. There is no substitute for victory"-- Douglas MacArthur

05-22-2009, 12:14 PM	#7
DPD6030 Shepard of the sheeple Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andrew Location: The Mitten Posts: 7,166 Trading: (151)	Re: Why I Fired My Secretary but did anyone pop out of the cake!

05-22-2009, 12:32 PM	#8
themoneycollector Nicotiana Tabacum Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Hill AFB, UT Posts: 1,258 Trading: (108)	Re: Why I Fired My Secretary Itchy clothing and couldn't find the restroom rofl

05-22-2009, 12:46 PM	#9
rennD NinfaManiac Join Date: Mar 2009 First Name: Carl Location: In a Cloud of Siglo Smoke Posts: 1,452 Trading: (19)	Re: Why I Fired My Secretary holee molee __________________ *Any cigars portrayed in this post that appear to be Cuban in origin are completely fictional in nature. Any resemblance between these cigars and actual Cuban cigars is unintended and coincidental.*

05-22-2009, 12:50 PM	#10
JE3146 Jordan #2 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jordan Location: Tigard, OR Posts: 2,115 Trading: (26)	Re: Why I Fired My Secretary oh that is good Posted via Mobile Device

05-22-2009, 04:23 PM	#11
karmaz00 Habanos Join Date: Dec 2008 First Name: Jason Location: victoria Posts: 1,855 Trading: (1)	Re: Why I Fired My Secretary lol..good one __________________ Habanos Collector Since 2003

05-22-2009, 08:42 PM	#12
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,725 Trading: (10)	Re: Why I Fired My Secretary awesome.