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#1 |
Juan of 11
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I know many wives read here just to keep up with hubbies secret cigar life. Hi I'm Dave and I'm on your side. Rotten bastages constantly typing stuff into the computer at all hours instead of attending to your needs. Not even decent conversation just typing and typing.
It's just wrong. And now you have the opportunity to put your foot down and really make a statement they are going to understand. But only later much later, as there is an added benefit you can pick up some extra cash (yes untraceable greenbacks) for your shopping pleasure. Tired of your spouse sneaking around ordering more than he tells you about? Can the dog really have eaten the past 6 months credit card bills each month? You know this is bullshit and your not going to take it anymore. Starting tomorrow take a stand and take back some of your kids college fund that cigar boy has "invested in his stash". Let's start slowly and under the radar. While he is at work or sleeping head down to his humidor storage area. Please note cigar boy is sneaky. Those coolers in the basement he says are for 4th of July? You guessed it full of your new shoe money. Anyway, make a list of the names on the boxes. Please note the codes on the bottom. Some will have a few letters and then a month and year. Some will just have letters.. these are the ones that you can get some real shopping bang for the buck. Write them down put your phone number and a good time to call on them and fax it in to... 1-800-get-even We will get back to you within 24 hours. We realize you may be concerned as many of your husbands are maniacal and anal retentive about their cigars. If only they paid as much attention to you. Geez. So in order to cover our tracks, once we select which cigars will inflict the maximum justice on cigar boy and maximum spending $$ for you, we will send "replacement cigars" for you to substitute for the ones we are buying. Have no fear these are perfectly fine cigars made by the Tamboril and Cremosa cigar companies. Ashtray breath will never know the difference. We'll start with the bottom row from boxes. Typically this will be 12 cigars. In case you are wondering what these might be worth... (as if it really matters it's justice we are looking for here.. can I get an amen?) depending upon the size and age of the cigars, you might get up to $ 10 per stick. If you trade out 50 cigars (that’s only about 4 boxes and hell he's got way too many already) this could be up to $ 500 per week for weeks and weeks and weeks. I'm sure many of you have observed your husbands behavior in thinking he is receiving cigars behind your back, and sending cigars to others. Please be much more careful then they are in dealing with "our little secret". We will mail you all the mailing supplies to send the cigars to us along with the replacement cigars for those you send out. We look forward to helping you take control of your life once again and await your fax. Bonus Available. Soon to be divorcees and or soon to be ex girfriends get an extra 20% for full box or even full collection submissions. Nothing says you'll remember me forever ahole like a nice humi cleaning. Look forward to hearing from you ladies and happy shopping to all.
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Communities Not Commodities. Punctuation challenged, but trying. Proud winner of phase 1 of the Weight loss contest |
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#2 |
i wish i was geRRy...
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This is so wrong.
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#3 |
Ephesians 2:8
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#4 |
Guest
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I just pray my wife never finds this post.
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#5 |
Bunion
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That explains why the hand truck is in from the garage
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I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx |
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#6 |
Serial banter killer
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Did my wife call you and set this up, Dave?
![]() That sounds just like what I've been hearing ever since I started receiving foreign mail. ![]()
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I loves me a Parti ![]() |
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#8 |
Guest
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Dave that is hilarious! I already have enough shoes
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#9 |
Guest
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That's hilarious.
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#11 |
Pepin Ho of the NorthWest
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#14 |
Black Ops - S.O.B.
![]() Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Dave
Location: Side Porta!! Kingsville, Ont., Canada
Posts: 4,186
Trading: (22)
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Canadian Armed Forces 1976! Canadian Coast Guard, retired in 2012 after 32 years!! |
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#15 |
The Dude Abides
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![]() ![]() Can one of the other 11 take care of this for us? ![]() ![]() ![]()
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"An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life." – Robert A. Heinlein |
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#17 |
Guest
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I dont know if people should bump your rep or ding it....
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#18 |
Good thing I'm normal
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That's it ... now, I have to log out after each visit and hope she doesn't guess my password ... until this little thread slips into history.
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#19 |
Cranky Habanophile
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#20 |
I think I'm normal...
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Where is that block function??
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I eat gummy bears by tearing them limb from limb and eating their heads last. |
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