Never Question A Drunk

CBI_2 · 02-08-2009, 08:56 AM

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon.

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,

"You must be single."

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single.

I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

Tenor CS · 02-08-2009, 10:55 AM

While working as a Wal-Mart greeter, I saw a lady pushing a stroller with two kids.

I asked her "Are they twins?"
She replied, "No, do they look that much alike?"
I answered, "No, I just couldn't believe you got laid twice."

karmaz00 · 02-08-2009, 02:58 PM

lol..good one

02-08-2009, 08:56 AM	#1
CBI_2 Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Paul Location: In my skin. Posts: 2,066 Trading: (0)	Never Question A Drunk I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. can of coffee, and A 1 lb. package of bacon. As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status. Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly." __________________ "The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff

02-08-2009, 10:55 AM	#2
Tenor CS Feeling Better! Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Christian Location: Davenport, FL (near Orlando) Posts: 717 Trading: (2)	Re: Never Question A Drunk While working as a Wal-Mart greeter, I saw a lady pushing a stroller with two kids. I asked her "Are they twins?" She replied, "No, do they look that much alike?" I answered, "No, I just couldn't believe you got laid twice." __________________ When the world itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?

02-08-2009, 02:58 PM	#3
karmaz00 Habanos Join Date: Dec 2008 First Name: Jason Location: victoria Posts: 1,855 Trading: (1)	Re: Never Question A Drunk lol..good one __________________ Habanos Collector Since 2003