Justifiable Homicide

cmitch · 03-05-2013, 05:01 PM

A trial is taking place in Mississippi. The defendant is a sweet grandmotherly type.

Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?

Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

Defense Attorney: What happened?

Little Old Woman: That's when he yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the son of a *****!

big_jaygee · 03-05-2013, 05:07 PM

CigarNut · 03-05-2013, 05:39 PM

kelmac07 · 03-05-2013, 06:06 PM

Gophernut · 03-05-2013, 07:55 PM

Very good! Funniest thing I've read in a while!

Ogre · 03-06-2013, 10:21 AM

STEVE S · 03-06-2013, 10:35 AM

03-05-2013, 05:01 PM	#1
cmitch Heads up get down Join Date: Oct 2010 First Name: Clayton Location: NW Alabama by the river Posts: 2,720 Trading: (25)	Justifiable Homicide A trial is taking place in Mississippi. The defendant is a sweet grandmotherly type. Defense Attorney: What is your age? Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you? Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. Defense Attorney: Did you know him? Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly. Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you? Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago. Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years! Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!" Defense Attorney: What happened? Little Old Woman: That's when he yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the son of a *****! __________________ No matter what one's status is in society, cigars are the great equalizer where the affluent and common share a love for the leaf. - Me.

03-05-2013, 05:07 PM	#2
big_jaygee I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Dec 2012 First Name: Jason Location: Houston Posts: 3,914 Trading: (59)	Re: Justifiable Homicide

03-05-2013, 05:39 PM	#3
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: Justifiable Homicide __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

03-05-2013, 06:06 PM	#4
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Justifiable Homicide __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

03-05-2013, 07:55 PM	#5
Gophernut Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Steve Location: Hudson, WI Posts: 1,661 Trading: (15)	Re: Justifiable Homicide Very good! Funniest thing I've read in a while! __________________ "My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government." Thomas Jefferson

03-06-2013, 10:21 AM	#6
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: Justifiable Homicide __________________

03-06-2013, 10:35 AM	#7
STEVE S Have My Own Room Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Steve Location: Coconut Creek, Fl. Posts: 1,092 Trading: (1)	Re: Justifiable Homicide __________________ Smoking cigars is a hobby and a great way to pass the time of day!