I think you'll laugh

RevSmoke · 12-25-2012, 11:10 PM

Unfortunately, I can see a couple people I know trying this.

Why we invented scopes for our rifles!

Nothing like a little corn fed venison:

Why we invented scopes for our rifles - This is worth the time to read it.

A letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this.

I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up--3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope.

The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.

The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope ... and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it; they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity... A deer – no Chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite?

They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go.

A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal - like a horse - strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer; so obviously, such trickery would not work... In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to sort of even the odds!!

All these events are true...

An Educated Farmer

big_jaygee · 12-25-2012, 11:22 PM

lmao thats great...and i will not try that at all lmao

joeobx · 12-26-2012, 07:37 AM

363 · 12-26-2012, 08:02 AM

man o man..

CigarNut · 12-26-2012, 08:38 AM

Thanks for that Todd!

Tallman · 12-26-2012, 08:46 AM

If I could only see that on video...that made me laugh!

Skywalker · 12-26-2012, 02:09 PM

Ogre · 12-26-2012, 02:30 PM

shilala · 12-27-2012, 09:29 AM

Hilarious.

Thanks for that, Todd!!!

cjhalbrooks · 12-27-2012, 09:49 AM

well i have to say i have chased a deer down that was hit by my buddies car. with one broken front leg i still had one hell of a fight on my hands lol

Dave128 · 12-27-2012, 10:05 AM

That's awesome, Todd!

Steve · 12-27-2012, 11:15 AM

qwerty1500 · 12-28-2012, 08:08 AM

I work with a bunch of farmers ... totally believable. I copied and forwarded it to a few of them.

12-25-2012, 11:10 PM	#1
RevSmoke Ain't Never Gonna Leave Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Todd Location: Northcentral woods of Wisconsin Posts: 6,848 Trading: (51)	I think you'll laugh Unfortunately, I can see a couple people I know trying this. Why we invented scopes for our rifles! Nothing like a little corn fed venison: Why we invented scopes for our rifles - This is worth the time to read it. A letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this. I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home. I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up--3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope ... and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it; they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity... A deer – no Chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back. Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal - like a horse - strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer; so obviously, such trickery would not work... In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to sort of even the odds!! All these events are true... An Educated Farmer __________________ Todd__ "Smoke what you like, and enjoy it!"

12-25-2012, 11:22 PM	#2
big_jaygee I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Dec 2012 First Name: Jason Location: Houston Posts: 3,914 Trading: (59)	Re: I think you'll laugh lmao thats great...and i will not try that at all lmao

12-26-2012, 07:37 AM	#3
joeobx just playing in the storm Join Date: Oct 2009 First Name: Joe Location: Fredericksburg. VA VCM Country Posts: 1,117 Trading: (4)	Re: I think you'll laugh __________________ it's all fun and games till the flying monkeys show up

12-26-2012, 08:02 AM	#4
363 Infecting Via PM Join Date: May 2012 First Name: Brendon Location: Maryland Posts: 1,773 Trading: (35)	Re: I think you'll laugh man o man.. __________________ Support our Troops "do NOT put pizza in your briar without letting it cool off Brendon" - Sterns

12-26-2012, 08:38 AM	#5
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: I think you'll laugh Thanks for that Todd! __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

12-26-2012, 08:46 AM	#6
Tallman Still Watching My Back Join Date: Mar 2011 First Name: Murray Location: Arkansas Posts: 114 Trading: (6)	Re: I think you'll laugh If I could only see that on video...that made me laugh!

12-26-2012, 02:09 PM	#7
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: I think you'll laugh __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

12-26-2012, 02:30 PM	#8
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: I think you'll laugh __________________

12-27-2012, 09:29 AM	#9
shilala Dear Lord, Thank You. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Posts: 13,721 Trading: (252)	Re: I think you'll laugh Hilarious. Thanks for that, Todd!!! __________________

12-27-2012, 09:49 AM	#10
cjhalbrooks I am behind you. SHHHHH Join Date: Dec 2011 First Name: Cory Location: Under a Bridge, trying to find the troll who stole my soul. Posts: 1,370 Trading: (20)	Re: I think you'll laugh well i have to say i have chased a deer down that was hit by my buddies car. with one broken front leg i still had one hell of a fight on my hands lol __________________ GMCGTPWHAF Tennessee Chapter. Down with the bloody BIG HEAD

12-27-2012, 10:05 AM	#11
Dave128 Sexy Dave Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Dave Location: Voorheesville, NY Posts: 3,922 Trading: (4)	Re: I think you'll laugh That's awesome, Todd! __________________ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin I "heart" Boobies and Beer!

12-27-2012, 11:15 AM	#12
Steve Dad Jokester Supreme Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Steve Location: 17 R 435648 3354895 Posts: 7,715 Trading: (6)	Re: I think you'll laugh __________________ ...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide

12-28-2012, 08:08 AM	#13
qwerty1500 Good thing I'm normal Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: One Particular Harbor Posts: 607 Trading: (0)	Re: I think you'll laugh I work with a bunch of farmers ... totally believable. I copied and forwarded it to a few of them.