Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-22-2012, 01:37 PM   #1
markem
Bunion
 
markem's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Mark
Location: Second Star on the Right
Posts: 22,625
Trading: (47)
HUpmann
markem has disabled reputation
Default From the local paper

We have a punny article in the newspaper each day that runs on the edge of one page, hence the name, "The Edge". Here is todays:

Every once in a while, we like to tie the Edge to some historical activity that occurred on the date the column appears. We do this to educate you, our dear reader(s), and because it beats the pants off having to actually come up with an idea after a big night of Angry Birds.

As it turns out, May 22 is a day rich with historical significance, from the Peace of Goulet (which could have led to an Edge about Robert Goulet, or even Will Ferrell's impersonation of Robert Goulet, or even the best of the "Naked Gun" movie he appeared in), to the Wright brothers getting a patent for their flying machine (the third brother, Steven, is always a great source for an Edge).

Or, perhaps, the birth in 1859 of Sir (well, not at the time of his birth) Arthur Conan Doyle, who wrote all those Sherlock Holmes stories (like "The Hound of the Basketballs," although we might be off a bit on the title).

But nothing May 22ish can top the last time Johnny Carson hosted "The Tonight Show," which happened 20 years ago today.

So, to honor that occasion, here are some of our favorite "Carnac" bits. For those too young to know the routine, Carson played a mind reader/fortune teller/charlatan who would hold an envelope up to his head, give his answer, then read the question inside.

Answer: Sis Boom Bah.

Question: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?
Answer: A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou.

Question: Name three things that have yeast.
Answer: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.

Question: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?
Answer: Zeppo Marx.

Question: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zeppo?
Answer: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.

Question: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?
Answer: Catch-22.

Question: What do the Los Angeles Dodgers do with 100 pop flies?
Answer: A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton.

Question: Name two big hits, two big mitts ... and a famous country singer!
Answer: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.

Question: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?
Answer: Do-whacka-do.

Question: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?
Answer: Dippity-do.

Question: What collects on your dippity in the morning?
__________________
I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
~ Groucho Marx
markem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2012, 01:43 PM   #2
SmokeyJoe
Chief Wannastogie Lounge
 
SmokeyJoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Joe
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 3,163
Trading: (28)
VR
SmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud of
Default Re: From the local paper

Thanks for sharing these classic laughs... I was a fan of Johnny Carson. Since he left "The Tonight Show" over two decades ago, that dates me a bit.

__________________
"I intend to smoke a good cigar to the glory of God..." ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, British Baptist preacher
SmokeyJoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:36 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.