Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-22-2012, 09:43 AM   #1
ysr_racer
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Scottish joke?

I was in a pub on Saturday night. Had a few....

I noticed two large women by the bar.

They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Scotland?"

One of them chirped: "It's WALES you friggin' idiot!"

So, I immediately apologized and said..., "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland ?"

And that's the last thing I remember...
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 09:44 AM   #2
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Scottish joke?

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 09:46 AM   #3
Taki
Welcome to the Layer Cake
 
Taki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
First Name: Taki
Location: The Creek
Posts: 2,271
Trading: (38)
HdM
Taki has disabled reputation
Default Re: Scottish joke?

__________________
Taki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 01:19 PM   #4
cjhalbrooks
I am behind you. SHHHHH
 
cjhalbrooks's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
First Name: Cory
Location: Under a Bridge, trying to find the troll who stole my soul.
Posts: 1,370
Trading: (20)
Montecristo Army (Active)
cjhalbrooks has a spectacular aura aboutcjhalbrooks has a spectacular aura aboutcjhalbrooks has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Scottish joke?

lol nice
__________________

GMCGTPWHAF Tennessee Chapter. Down with the bloody BIG HEAD
cjhalbrooks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 01:53 PM   #5
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,441
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: Scottish joke?

I heard they said, "It's Wales, Chief."
__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 02:07 PM   #6
ysr_racer
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Scottish joke?

Thanks Sparky !!
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 02:13 PM   #7
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,441
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: Scottish joke?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ysr_racer View Post
Thanks Sparky !!
You got it, Spunky.
__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 06:52 PM   #8
ysr_racer
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Scottish joke?

A recent Scottish immigrant to the U.S. attended His first baseball game. After a base hit, he heard the fans roaring, "Run...run!"

The next batter connected heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stood up and roared with the crowd in his thick accent, "R-r-r-un yah bahstard. R-r-r-run!"

A third batter slammed a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his new found knowledge of the game, screamed "R-r-r-un ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya."

The next batter`s count went to three and two. As the next pitch went outside the plate, he held his swing. The umpire called a walk and the Scotsman stood up yelling, "R-r-r-un ya bahstard, r-r-run!"

All the surrounding fans giggled quietly and he sat down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispered, "He didn`t have to run, he`s got four balls."

After this explanation the Scotsman stood up in disbelief and screamed, "Walk PR-R-ROUD ya bahstard!! Walk proud!!"
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 08:29 PM   #9
shark
Cigar Smokin' Patriot
 
shark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
First Name: Ron
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,585
Trading: (0)
Bolivar Army (Served With Honor)
shark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Scottish joke?

How can you tell if a man is half Irish and half Scottish?


Half of him wants to get blind drunk, while the other half doesn't want to pay for it.
__________________
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our minds
shark is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:36 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.