Why Parents Drink

irratebass · 10-03-2011, 08:28 AM

Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was
Astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything
Was picked up. Then he saw an

Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was
Addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
With
Trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
Had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid
A scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so
Nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her
Piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that
She is much older than I am. But it' s not only the
Passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood
For the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
Children..

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't
Really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the
Other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure
For AIDS so
Stacy
Can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you
Can
Get
To know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over
At Tommy's house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are
Worse things in life than a Report card That's in my center
Desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home...

RevSmoke · 10-03-2011, 08:35 AM

I've seen this one before, but it has been a while. It is s still a great one. Thanks for the laugh.

Peace of the Lord be with you.

Barcode · 10-03-2011, 08:36 AM

CigarSquid · 10-03-2011, 08:41 AM

Good one. I have yet to here that one.

Ogre · 10-03-2011, 09:01 AM

An oldie but a GOODIE!!!!!

10-03-2011, 09:32 AM

I'm saddened to say that I've pulled something similar on my parents before. And my fiance too now that I think about it.

Imagine wanting a $450 humidor....so I ask my fiance if I can get the $1500 one, I keep telling how nice it is, all the features...then when she's about to blow a gasket I say "you know, I think this $450 one will do just fine...I don't need that $1500 one". And I get what I really wanted in the first place.

kelmac07 · 10-03-2011, 09:58 AM

RevSmoke · 10-03-2011, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonely Raven

I'm saddened to say that I've pulled something similar on my parents before. And my fiance too now that I think about it.

Imagine wanting a $450 humidor....so I ask my fiance if I can get the $1500 one, I keep telling how nice it is, all the features...then when she's about to blow a gasket I say "you know, I think this $450 one will do just fine...I don't need that $1500 one". And I get what I really wanted in the first place.

Hey, didn't you invite her here onto this public board, wanting her to see what all the hubbub was about - in the hopes of getting her to see what you really enjoy.

And now you just publically told her how you manipulated her?

Dude!?!?!?

shilala · 10-03-2011, 11:38 AM

N2 GOLD · 10-03-2011, 12:12 PM

Blak Smyth · 10-03-2011, 12:15 PM

forgop · 10-03-2011, 12:19 PM

The answer could have simply been "kids".

Skywalker · 10-03-2011, 12:20 PM

irratebass · 10-03-2011, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RevSmoke

Hey, didn't you invite her here onto this public board, wanting her to see what all the hubbub was about - in the hopes of getting her to see what you really enjoy.

And now you just publically told her how you manipulated her?

Dude!?!?!?

Mr B · 10-03-2011, 12:30 PM

BlindedByScience · 10-03-2011, 01:06 PM

Most excellent; thanks for the chuckle. Just sent along to my son, the new father....

10-03-2011, 08:28 AM	#1
irratebass EMPEROR TOMPKINS Join Date: Aug 2011 First Name: Mickey Location: Mooresville, Indiana Posts: 8,313 Trading: (48)	Why Parents Drink Why Parents Drink A father passing by his son's bedroom was Astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything Was picked up. Then he saw an Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was Addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope With Trembling hands and read the letter. Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I Had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid A scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so Nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her Piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that She is much older than I am. But it' s not only the Passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood For the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more Children.. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't Really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the Other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure For AIDS so Stacy Can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you Can Get To know your grandchildren. Love, Your Son John PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over At Tommy's house. I Just wanted to remind you that there are Worse things in life than a Report card That's in my center Desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home... __________________

10-03-2011, 08:35 AM	#2
RevSmoke Ain't Never Gonna Leave Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Todd Location: Northcentral woods of Wisconsin Posts: 6,861 Trading: (51)	Re: Why Parents Drink I've seen this one before, but it has been a while. It is s still a great one. Thanks for the laugh. Peace of the Lord be with you. __________________ Todd__ "Smoke what you like, and enjoy it!"

10-03-2011, 08:36 AM	#3
Barcode Adjusting to the Life Join Date: May 2010 First Name: Tom Location: Everett, WA Posts: 477 Trading: (16)	Re: Why Parents Drink

10-03-2011, 08:41 AM	#4
CigarSquid AKA Garryyjr Join Date: Apr 2011 First Name: Garry Location: Medford, OR - Cigar Zombie Posts: 3,213 Trading: (39)	Re: Why Parents Drink Good one. I have yet to here that one.

10-03-2011, 09:01 AM	#5
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: Why Parents Drink An oldie but a GOODIE!!!!! __________________

10-03-2011, 09:32 AM	#6
Lonely Raven Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Why Parents Drink I'm saddened to say that I've pulled something similar on my parents before. And my fiance too now that I think about it. Imagine wanting a $450 humidor....so I ask my fiance if I can get the $1500 one, I keep telling how nice it is, all the features...then when she's about to blow a gasket I say "you know, I think this $450 one will do just fine...I don't need that $1500 one". And I get what I really wanted in the first place.

10-03-2011, 09:58 AM	#7
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Why Parents Drink __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

10-03-2011, 11:38 AM	#9
shilala Dear Lord, Thank You. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Posts: 13,721 Trading: (252)	Re: Why Parents Drink __________________

10-03-2011, 12:12 PM	#10
N2 GOLD MIND OVER MATTER... Join Date: Feb 2011 First Name: RICO Location: So. CAL 33° 44' 44" N / 117° 52' 0" W Posts: 2,330 Trading: (1)	Re: Why Parents Drink __________________ When I want your opinion, I'll give it to ya.

10-03-2011, 12:15 PM	#11
Blak Smyth Think Blue! Join Date: Jun 2011 First Name: SD Location: THE WOOD Posts: 8,486 Trading: (52)	Re: Why Parents Drink __________________ SUPPORT OUR TROOPS

10-03-2011, 12:19 PM	#12
forgop Not a puffer Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Duane Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 2,869 Trading: (40)	Re: Why Parents Drink The answer could have simply been "kids".

10-03-2011, 12:20 PM	#13
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Why Parents Drink __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

10-03-2011, 12:30 PM	#15
Mr B Livin' in a Van.... Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: North Bay Area, CA Posts: 3,233 Trading: (79)	Re: Why Parents Drink __________________ And there came a voice to him: “Rise, Peter; kill and eat.” Acts 10:13

10-03-2011, 01:06 PM	#16
BlindedByScience Proud USMC Dad Join Date: Feb 2011 First Name: Tom Location: Vancouver WA Posts: 237 Trading: (0)	Re: Why Parents Drink Most excellent; thanks for the chuckle. Just sent along to my son, the new father.... __________________ "They that give up essential liberty to obtain temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin