Rapture Fail

emopunker2004 · 05-21-2011, 04:13 AM

" Inhabitants of New Zealand, scheduled to be among the first to meet the apocalypse according to a US fundamentalist preacher, this morning confirmed they were still in existence as the appointed time was reached in their time zone.

There were also unconfirmed reports that Tonga has, thus far, failed to boil into the Pacific.

Eighty-nine-year-old tele-evangelist Harold Camping had prophesied that the “Rapture” would begin with powerful earthquakes at 6pm in each of the world’s regions, after which the good would be beamed up to heaven.

This morning, Kiwis confirmed there were no signs of the dead rising from the grave, nor of the living ascending into the clouds to meet Jesus Christ.

Twitter users were disappointed by the absence of Armaggedon. "

Linky

Barcode · 05-21-2011, 04:37 AM

I guess that means there will NOT be a Rapture Looting Party?

Zeuceone · 05-21-2011, 04:37 AM

The planets have aligned..

Drez · 05-21-2011, 04:47 AM

I'm just gonna pretend the rapture is happening at 6 pm.

emopunker2004 · 05-21-2011, 04:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drez

I'm just gonna pretend the rapture is happening at 6 pm.

pektel · 05-21-2011, 06:42 AM

Maybe new Zealand is just full of unrepented sinners.
Posted via Mobile Device

Skywalker · 05-21-2011, 10:04 AM

I always wondered, "Who put up the sign?" and "Why?"

Emjaysmash · 05-21-2011, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barcode

I guess that means there will NOT be a Rapture Looting Party?

Guess not. I will be attending my own Post Rapture-fail Herfing, however.

05-21-2011, 10:14 AM

The Rapture is still coming, they were just using the wrong texts to calculate the date.
Just you wait...

taltos · 05-21-2011, 10:41 AM

I was worried, I thought that he said rupture.

RHNewfie · 05-21-2011, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drez

I'm just gonna pretend the rapture is happening at 6 pm.

Better yet, pretend it happened after 6! Walk up to strangers and say "awe man, you're still here too!"

Ashcan Bill · 05-21-2011, 12:31 PM

Good thing it didn't happen. I slept late and would have really been irritated if I'd missed the opening ceremonies. Plus I hadn't even figured out what my End Of The World cigar was going to be. Dodged that bullet.

loki · 05-21-2011, 12:42 PM

damn it, i was looking forward to not having to see my inlaws today

Bax · 05-21-2011, 12:54 PM

The Rapture did happen... in my pants. Sorry about the smell.

rebelknight · 05-21-2011, 01:01 PM

I thought they said raptors. This is far less exciting

emopunker2004 · 05-21-2011, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bax

The Rapture did happen... in my pants. Sorry about the smell.

No no no. Thats RUPTURE

Cornrow_Wallis · 05-21-2011, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebelknight

I thought they said raptors. This is far less exciting

Who says you can't have both?

Remo · 05-21-2011, 01:21 PM

Glad I didn't start on my "people to whack" list, boy would I look silly!!

sikk50 · 05-21-2011, 01:25 PM

I came Skywalker's to herf but this is all there was

markem · 05-21-2011, 02:51 PM

I haven't gotten any Asian spam promising me large body parts and amazingly satisfied ladies since yesterday. Maybe there is something to the whole rapture thing ...

05-21-2011, 04:13 AM	#1
emopunker2004 Central Fla rollin Join Date: Jan 2011 First Name: Justin Location: Winter Springs, FL Posts: 6,171 Trading: (46)	Rapture Fail " Inhabitants of New Zealand, scheduled to be among the first to meet the apocalypse according to a US fundamentalist preacher, this morning confirmed they were still in existence as the appointed time was reached in their time zone. There were also unconfirmed reports that Tonga has, thus far, failed to boil into the Pacific. Eighty-nine-year-old tele-evangelist Harold Camping had prophesied that the “Rapture” would begin with powerful earthquakes at 6pm in each of the world’s regions, after which the good would be beamed up to heaven. This morning, Kiwis confirmed there were no signs of the dead rising from the grave, nor of the living ascending into the clouds to meet Jesus Christ. Twitter users were disappointed by the absence of Armaggedon. " Linky __________________ Cigar Asylum: Where all are equal, unless you are from CA, then you are more equal.

05-21-2011, 04:37 AM	#2
Barcode Adjusting to the Life Join Date: May 2010 First Name: Tom Location: Everett, WA Posts: 477 Trading: (16)	Re: Rapture Fail I guess that means there will NOT be a Rapture Looting Party?

05-21-2011, 04:37 AM	#3
Zeuceone You're next Join Date: Dec 2010 First Name: G Location: SoCal Posts: 1,737 Trading: (16)	Re: Rapture Fail The planets have aligned..

05-21-2011, 04:47 AM	#4
Drez The Warden Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Frank Location: Miami, FL Posts: 3,768 Trading: (35)	Re: Rapture Fail I'm just gonna pretend the rapture is happening at 6 pm. __________________ They aren't going to multiply....burn that b!tch!

05-21-2011, 06:42 AM	#6
pektel I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Peter Location: Grand Rapids, MN Posts: 4,320 Trading: (28)	Re: Rapture Fail Maybe new Zealand is just full of unrepented sinners. Posted via Mobile Device

05-21-2011, 10:04 AM	#7
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Rapture Fail I always wondered, "Who put up the sign?" and "Why?" __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

05-21-2011, 10:14 AM	#9
BC-Axeman Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Rapture Fail The Rapture is still coming, they were just using the wrong texts to calculate the date. Just you wait...

05-21-2011, 10:41 AM	#10
taltos Really, really old Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Paul Location: Saugus, MA Posts: 2,486 Trading: (3)	Re: Rapture Fail I was worried, I thought that he said rupture. __________________ Jimmy, some of its magic, some of its tragic, but I had a good life all the way. He Went to Paris, J. Buffett

05-21-2011, 12:31 PM	#12
Ashcan Bill Ol' Dude Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Bill Location: Henderson, NV Posts: 1,901 Trading: (6)	Re: Rapture Fail Good thing it didn't happen. I slept late and would have really been irritated if I'd missed the opening ceremonies. Plus I hadn't even figured out what my End Of The World cigar was going to be. Dodged that bullet.

05-21-2011, 12:42 PM	#13
loki H.A.T.E Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Pittsburgh pa Posts: 1,484 Trading: (7)	Re: Rapture Fail damn it, i was looking forward to not having to see my inlaws today

05-21-2011, 12:54 PM	#14
Bax C A P S...CAPS CAPS CAPS! Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tim Location: Ringgold,GA Posts: 2,173 Trading: (70)	Re: Rapture Fail The Rapture did happen... in my pants. Sorry about the smell. __________________ I'm the most interesting man in the world... but only if you find stupid stuff really interesting.

05-21-2011, 01:01 PM	#15
rebelknight Feeling at Home Join Date: Dec 2010 First Name: John Location: Columbus, OH and Rochester, NY Posts: 510 Trading: (1)	Re: Rapture Fail I thought they said raptors. This is far less exciting

05-21-2011, 01:21 PM	#18
Remo C.I.A Join Date: Feb 2011 First Name: Mike Location: Palm Harbor, Florida Posts: 12,597 Trading: (122)	Re: Rapture Fail Glad I didn't start on my "people to whack" list, boy would I look silly!! __________________

05-21-2011, 01:25 PM	#19
sikk50 Just Bored Really... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andrew Location: The Jefferson State Posts: 2,084 Trading: (13)	Re: Rapture Fail I came Skywalker's to herf but this is all there was __________________ "Not a Headache in a Hogshead"

05-21-2011, 02:51 PM	#20
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,625 Trading: (47)	Re: Rapture Fail I haven't gotten any Asian spam promising me large body parts and amazingly satisfied ladies since yesterday. Maybe there is something to the whole rapture thing ... __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx