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Old 01-09-2011, 11:33 AM   #81
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Default Re: I'm at the Crossroads-Help me Decide

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I just don't say it cause it makes me throw up in my mouth. There's a couple guys here with "banned pvffer" or something like that under their username, and that always causes me to make an awful curled up face, too.
Hard to believe the whole thing still smells so awful after all this time. *barf*
Scott,
Yeah, I know what you mean.
I was really upset, for a week, after that verkakte schlemiel kicked my butt out. But I got over it. At the time, I felt personally persecuted. Now that I'm here, I realize it's not me. It's him. Typical Napoleonic syndrome. Power. At some point the cloud of power will take him down and the boards will be full of people dancing in the street.
But I've let go. Everyone here has made that possible. So I moved on.
Whatcha' goin' to do?
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Old 01-09-2011, 12:13 PM   #82
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Default Re: I'm at the Crossroads-Help me Decide

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Whatcha' goin' to do?
If everyone here donated a quarter, we could hire a toothless transvestite midget hooker to run up to capukeo in public and give him a big wet sloppy kiss like Jamie Lee Curtis did to Dan Aykroyd in "Trading Places".

Or maybe have a truckload of White Owl Pineapple tubos cigars dumped in his front yard.

Just a thought.
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Old 01-09-2011, 12:15 PM   #83
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If everyone here donated a quarter, we could hire a toothless transvestite midget hooker to run up to capukeo in public and give him a big wet sloppy kiss like Jamie Lee Curtis did to Dan Aykroyd in "Trading Places".

Just a thought.
Why such a conservative plan?
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Old 01-10-2011, 06:23 PM   #84
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I write crazy reviews for Famous under the pen name Katmancross.
They hired me because of my creativity and irreverent attitude. They've published 9 reviews since mid Oct.
Apparently, they've had complaints
Too sick
Offensive to women
One review had gore
One review mentioned hookers
No muslims (my next published review is about capturing bin Laden-he tires of being a terrorist on the run and becomes a stand up comic doing open mike nights-I haven't said a word about Muslims once in prior reviews)

Mind you, the guys have been cool and saw nothing wrong with my reviews prior to publishing. But now the new rules must change because of a few complaints.

Now, as I see it, cigar sites attract men. Adult men. Children don't read what I write. And I'm sure very few women read it.

They don't pay me a dime for these reviews. They send me a 5 pack for review purposes.
I do this for the freedom and creativity it allows. Anyone can write the 1-2-3 review. And Famous wanted to get away from that.

I'm at the crossroads. Do I buckle under and do what they ask...write for the masses? Or do I take my ball and go home?
Help me.
OK. This is weird. Good things have happened since I became an inmate 10 days ago.
I now write for 5 cigar outlets and a cigar magazine. Wow. How did that happen? Padron 1926's for everyone...put it on my tab!!
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Old 01-10-2011, 06:26 PM   #85
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Default Re: I'm at the Crossroads-Help me Decide

Good for you Phillip!
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Old 01-10-2011, 06:32 PM   #86
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Good for you Phillip!
Thanks Dave....I am truly flabbergasted. Obviously, there's an upside to writing silly, stupid, incomprehensible reviews that most people don't like.
The funny thing, is that I am still dirt poor and have about 15 cigars to my name. No one has delivered cigars yet.
The State of Wisconsin has granted my wife and I $76 per month in food stamps yesterday. And Jewish Family Services is sending me a couple of supermarket gift cards. And I'm $100 overdrawn at the bank.
Yippee. I'm a writer!
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Old 01-10-2011, 06:34 PM   #87
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Old 01-10-2011, 06:59 PM   #88
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Default Re: I'm at the Crossroads-Help me Decide

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Their sandbox, your ball. You have to make the choice about that and whether or not you take direction from a bunch of anonymous strangers on a different cigar board.
x2, as much as it sucks it is their sandbox...I would not take direction from them and leave. Then again, my advice is not always the best
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Old 01-10-2011, 08:55 PM   #89
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Default Re: I'm at the Crossroads-Help me Decide

I just read a couple of your reviews not bad I cant wait to see more especially the ones they wouldn't post.
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Old 01-10-2011, 09:01 PM   #90
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I just read a couple of your reviews not bad I cant wait to see more especially the ones they wouldn't post.
http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=40965

http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=40964

Thanks
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Old 01-10-2011, 11:13 PM   #91
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Default Re: I'm at the Crossroads-Help me Decide

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Thanks Dave....I am truly flabbergasted. Obviously, there's an upside to writing silly, stupid, incomprehensible reviews that most people don't like.
The funny thing, is that I am still dirt poor and have about 15 cigars to my name. No one has delivered cigars yet.
The State of Wisconsin has granted my wife and I $76 per month in food stamps yesterday. And Jewish Family Services is sending me a couple of supermarket gift cards. And I'm $100 overdrawn at the bank.
Yippee. I'm a writer!
Ya know, you could have brain cancer. In jail. I think you're doin alright.
Look straight up and walk straight forward, my friend.
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Old 01-11-2011, 10:16 AM   #92
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Ya know, you could have brain cancer. In jail. I think you're doin alright.
Look straight up and walk straight forward, my friend.
I know, I know.
I spend a lot of time telling myself things could be a lot worse. There are people who would give anything to live the life I am.
But after a long time, it gets old having to refer to that allegory.
But as a Jew, I have that extra DNA for whining. Can't help it.
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Old 01-11-2011, 10:21 AM   #93
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Default Re: I'm at the Crossroads-Help me Decide

It's a done deal. I got a writing gig at Cigar Snob Magazine!
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Old 01-11-2011, 10:23 AM   #94
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Default Re: I'm at the Crossroads-Help me Decide

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It's a done deal. I got a writing gig at Cigar Snob Magazine!
Congrats!
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Old 01-11-2011, 02:31 PM   #95
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Oh God! I just got the package with the U.C's in it. I opened the aluminum pouch and all I could smell was the strong scent of sweet pipe tobacco. God knows what a grape one or peach one smells like. I can't do it. I don't even want to put them into my humidor and be stuck with that scent for 6 months. Maybe in a quart size zipper bag in the toilet tank?
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Old 01-11-2011, 04:31 PM   #96
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Default Re: I'm at the Crossroads-Help me Decide

Congrats on the new gig.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:03 PM   #97
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I'm solidifying deals with all the different cigar outfits and I am overwhelmed by their kindness and enthusiasm. After two years of pure hell, I find myself sniffling like a little girl. Several are excited that I will be writing as Kat. No censorship. Pure freedom.

Last week, the State of Wisconsin manned up and gave me Medicaid. Everything is virtually free now. I truly believe that all of the support and good thoughts spewed forth from CA helped. Yeah, I'm an old hippie.
I have such severe pain issues because of the skydiving accident... and in the last 2 years, things have gotten so much worse. I saw a doctor today and he ordered MRI's for my back and neck. I'm seeing another doc next week for a complete physical.
Of course, I'm afraid of what they may find. But it's better to worry about that then continue in this miserable existence. I'm just a big whiny baby.

To all my buds, thank you for your kindness. You're all like family.
Thanks.
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Old 01-14-2011, 01:00 PM   #98
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Default Re: I'm at the Crossroads-Help me Decide

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Originally Posted by Katmancross View Post
I write crazy reviews for Famous under the pen name Katmancross.
They hired me because of my creativity and irreverent attitude. They've published 9 reviews since mid Oct.
Apparently, they've had complaints
Too sick
Offensive to women
One review had gore
One review mentioned hookers
No muslims (my next published review is about capturing bin Laden-he tires of being a terrorist on the run and becomes a stand up comic doing open mike nights-I haven't said a word about Muslims once in prior reviews)

Mind you, the guys have been cool and saw nothing wrong with my reviews prior to publishing. But now the new rules must change because of a few complaints.

Now, as I see it, cigar sites attract men. Adult men. Children don't read what I write. And I'm sure very few women read it.

They don't pay me a dime for these reviews. They send me a 5 pack for review purposes.
I do this for the freedom and creativity it allows. Anyone can write the 1-2-3 review. And Famous wanted to get away from that.

I'm at the crossroads. Do I buckle under and do what they ask...write for the masses? Or do I take my ball and go home?
Help me.


January 14, 2011
This is the review/story that my home review store F****s-S***e would have printed if they hadn't fired me because I took other writing assignments.
As stated earlier, my wife and I are virtually homeless. The cigar reviews that Katmancross writes seems to be liked and other online outfits have asked for my services. I may have found a way out of the hole. Some want stories like this. Some want 1-2-3 reviews. Some want anonymous reviews. Some are European online stores..one I have to write in German. And one is for Cigar Snob Magazine.
Now mind you, this store and I had no contract. I was paid a 5 pack for each review.. They did me a couple solids and sent me a Blazer lighter and this week, I got a bundle of an inexpensive cigars.
I have refused offers from the other big 4-5 outfits. Because I am loyal. The stores I am working with are nothing to sneeze at but should not get in the way of writing for F. They gave me my start and I am so grateful to them. But they blindsided me with this. No warning. Just gone. It's a shame because I would have been loyal to the end and written for them for two cigars. It's a shame. So I will be seen and read in other outlets. I wish F all the best.

I printed the review in the review section
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Old 01-14-2011, 01:55 PM   #99
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Default Re: I'm at the Crossroads-Help me Decide

Glad to see new opportunities are on the horizon...

Loyalty is a two-way street. Their loss...
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Old 01-14-2011, 01:57 PM   #100
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Glad to see new opportunities are on the horizon...

Loyalty is a two-way street. Their loss...
Yeah...all up in smoke because of their wrong assumption...what happened to phone calls?
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