Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-07-2010, 08:06 PM   #1
CBI_2
Have My Own Room
 
CBI_2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Paul
Location: In my skin.
Posts: 2,066
Trading: (0)
CBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the rough
Default Snoring Problems

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can???t sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah, right," she says.

A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed!

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and carefully ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.

The next morning, the husband wakes up hung over. He stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees a red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and says, "Boy, I don't remember where we were or what we did, but, by God, we got first and second place."
__________________
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff
CBI_2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2010, 08:10 PM   #2
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Snoring Problems

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2010, 08:19 PM   #3
G G
BR549
 
G G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: Taylor, FL.
Posts: 12,725
Trading: (10)
Bolivar
G G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant future
Default Re: Snoring Problems

G G is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2010, 08:20 PM   #4
markem
Bunion
 
markem's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Mark
Location: Second Star on the Right
Posts: 22,621
Trading: (47)
HUpmann
markem has disabled reputation
Default Re: Snoring Problems

my ribbon is polka dot
__________________
I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
~ Groucho Marx
markem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2010, 08:28 PM   #5
GolfNut
Back in the woodshop!
 
GolfNut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Forrest
Location: Living room
Posts: 1,361
Trading: (38)
Partagas
GolfNut has a spectacular aura aboutGolfNut has a spectacular aura aboutGolfNut has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Snoring Problems

Please don't tell my wife about this.
GolfNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2010, 09:07 PM   #6
SmokeyJoe
Chief Wannastogie Lounge
 
SmokeyJoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Joe
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 3,160
Trading: (28)
VR
SmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud of
Default Re: Snoring Problems

Ribbon? My wife just uses thread.
__________________
"I intend to smoke a good cigar to the glory of God..." ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, British Baptist preacher
SmokeyJoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2010, 10:28 AM   #7
Skywalker
BABOTL
 
Skywalker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Dice
Location: Galaxy Far Far Away
Posts: 10,168
Trading: (18)
Partagas
Skywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud of
Default Re: Snoring Problems

Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokeyJoe View Post
Ribbon? My wife just uses thread.
Just tuck it into your sock!!!
__________________

Smoke what you like!!!
Skywalker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2010, 11:06 AM   #8
Commander Quan
Feeling at Home
 
Commander Quan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Derrick
Location: Canton, OH
Posts: 966
Trading: (4)
Bolivar
Commander Quan has a spectacular aura aboutCommander Quan has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Snoring Problems

The Scotsman
Commander Quan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2010, 11:10 AM   #9
Bunker
New hardware installed.
 
Bunker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
First Name: Rick
Location: Moonbatachusetts
Posts: 950
Trading: (18)
Partagas
Bunker will become famous soon enoughBunker will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Snoring Problems

Quote:
Originally Posted by Commander Quan View Post
I was just thinking, the last time I heard that the guy was wearing a kilt
__________________
"Good is good, even if no one is doing it - and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it."
Bunker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2010, 12:49 PM   #10
BTcigars
Adjusting to the Life
 
BTcigars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Sacramento CA
Posts: 486
Trading: (1)
BTcigars will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Snoring Problems

Absolutely great, thanks for sharing!!
__________________
Be sure to chek out my blog.
BTcigars is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-03-2014, 03:47 PM   #11
RUNYYFan
Life, Liberty, Happiness
 
RUNYYFan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
First Name: Marc
Location: Splitting time between Dayton, NJ and Needmore, PA
Posts: 360
Trading: (0)
Partagas
RUNYYFan will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Snoring Problems

Worth a bump to the top. )
__________________
Marc
Fear is the dark room in which negatives are developed. - Anon.
RUNYYFan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-03-2014, 04:07 PM   #12
pektel
I'm nuts for the place
 
pektel's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
First Name: Peter
Location: Grand Rapids, MN
Posts: 4,320
Trading: (28)
LGC
pektel is just really nicepektel is just really nicepektel is just really nicepektel is just really nicepektel is just really nice
Default Re: Snoring Problems

l

I needed a good laugh.
__________________
The problem is not the problem. The problem is your ATTITUDE about the problem.
pektel is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:44 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.