The Purina Diet

pektel · 10-11-2010, 04:03 PM

A while back I was at my local Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?

On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

kelmac07 · 10-11-2010, 04:39 PM

G G · 10-11-2010, 05:22 PM

CasaDooley · 10-11-2010, 08:27 PM

Dave128 · 10-11-2010, 09:11 PM

Barcode · 10-12-2010, 02:35 AM

nice

10-11-2010, 04:03 PM	#1
pektel I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Peter Location: Grand Rapids, MN Posts: 4,320 Trading: (28)	The Purina Diet A while back I was at my local Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore. __________________ The problem is not the problem. The problem is your ATTITUDE about the problem.

10-11-2010, 04:39 PM	#2
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: The Purina Diet __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

10-11-2010, 05:22 PM	#3
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,730 Trading: (10)	Re: The Purina Diet

10-11-2010, 08:27 PM	#4
CasaDooley Herf Crew of 2 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Kevin Location: The birthplace of Fathers Day Posts: 2,465 Trading: (41)	Re: The Purina Diet __________________ *Founding member of the Lilac City Dedicated Herfers*

10-11-2010, 09:11 PM	#5
Dave128 Sexy Dave Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Dave Location: Voorheesville, NY Posts: 3,922 Trading: (4)	Re: The Purina Diet __________________ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin I "heart" Boobies and Beer!

10-12-2010, 02:35 AM	#6
Barcode Adjusting to the Life Join Date: May 2010 First Name: Tom Location: Everett, WA Posts: 477 Trading: (16)	Re: The Purina Diet nice