Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-02-2010, 02:49 PM   #1
yourchoice
Down the stretch
 
yourchoice's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Joel
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 4,095
Trading: (36)
Cohiba
yourchoice has disabled reputation
Default Dirty Dishes

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.' And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.

But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom... 'She's got a great body,' he thinks.

So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket...

Suddenly the father shouted....'I'll do the ****ing dishes!!!'
yourchoice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2010, 02:56 PM   #2
G G
BR549
 
G G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: Taylor, FL.
Posts: 12,730
Trading: (10)
Bolivar
G G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant future
Default Re: Dirty Dishes

G G is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2010, 03:08 PM   #3
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Dirty Dishes

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:37 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.