Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-15-2010, 06:21 PM   #1
CBI_2
Have My Own Room
 
CBI_2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Paul
Location: In my skin.
Posts: 2,066
Trading: (0)
CBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the rough
Default Colonoscopy Remarks

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

"Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

"Can you hear me NOW?"

"You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."

"Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

"Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

"If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

"Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

"You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

"Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"
__________________
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff
CBI_2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2010, 06:51 PM   #2
Tenor CS
Feeling Better!
 
Tenor CS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Christian
Location: Davenport, FL (near Orlando)
Posts: 717
Trading: (2)
Cohiba
Tenor CS will become famous soon enoughTenor CS will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Colonoscopy Remarks

Hell, all I said during my colonoscopy was "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

I was knocked the fuggout.
__________________
When the world itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?
Tenor CS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2010, 08:23 PM   #3
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Colonoscopy Remarks

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenor CS View Post
Hell, all I said during my colonoscopy was "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

I was knocked the fuggout.
Same here!!
__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2010, 08:44 PM   #4
maxnmisty435
trying to find my way
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Jason
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 125
Trading: (28)
Bolivar Army (Served With Honor)
maxnmisty435 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Colonoscopy Remarks

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenor CS View Post
Hell, all I said during my colonoscopy was "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

I was knocked the fuggout.
so what you are saying is you hope he used his finger because you really have no way of knowing
maxnmisty435 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2010, 08:56 PM   #5
cort
◤◢◣◥
 
cort's Avatar
3
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Gary
Posts: 4,478
Trading: (41)
cort has disabled reputation
Default Re: Colonoscopy Remarks

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenor CS View Post
Hell, all I said during my colonoscopy was "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

I was knocked the fuggout.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelmac07 View Post
Same here!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by maxnmisty435 View Post
so what you are saying is you hope he used his finger because you really have no way of knowing
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahha!!!!!!
cort is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2010, 09:11 PM   #6
Tenor CS
Feeling Better!
 
Tenor CS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Christian
Location: Davenport, FL (near Orlando)
Posts: 717
Trading: (2)
Cohiba
Tenor CS will become famous soon enoughTenor CS will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Colonoscopy Remarks

Quote:
Originally Posted by maxnmisty435 View Post
so what you are saying is you hope he used his finger because you really have no way of knowing
When I was loopy coming out of the anesthesia, my wife said that I was farting up a storm and singing "Looking in my big brown eye, la la la la la la ..."

We also had this conversation:

Wife: Well, he said everything looked normal.
Me: I have a beautiful colon.
__________________
When the world itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?
Tenor CS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2010, 09:12 PM   #7
Tenor CS
Feeling Better!
 
Tenor CS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Christian
Location: Davenport, FL (near Orlando)
Posts: 717
Trading: (2)
Cohiba
Tenor CS will become famous soon enoughTenor CS will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Colonoscopy Remarks

I kind of wish you could get a DVD like women can with an ultrasound of their baby.
__________________
When the world itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?
Tenor CS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2010, 10:43 PM   #8
Skywalker
BABOTL
 
Skywalker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Dice
Location: Galaxy Far Far Away
Posts: 10,168
Trading: (18)
Partagas
Skywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud of
Default Re: Colonoscopy Remarks



The comments that you guys made are hilarious!!!
__________________

Smoke what you like!!!
Skywalker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2010, 10:45 PM   #9
Steve
Dad Jokester Supreme
 
Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Steve
Location: 17 R 435648 3354895
Posts: 7,715
Trading: (6)
HdM
Steve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud of
Default Re: Colonoscopy Remarks

Quote:
Originally Posted by CBI_2 View Post
"Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"
Hey, I resemble tat!
__________________
...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied,
Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide
Steve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2010, 10:45 PM   #10
Fishbeadtwo
Another nut j0b
 
Fishbeadtwo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Charlie
Location: Washington, the state
Posts: 1,175
Trading: (9)
Bolivar
Fishbeadtwo will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Colonoscopy Remarks

Last thing I remember saying was "hey it's kinda drafty in here!"
__________________
This white coat is a little tight...?
Fishbeadtwo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2010, 10:08 AM   #11
TheStatsGuy
I'm a proud Masshole
 
TheStatsGuy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
First Name: Tim #4
Location: Somewhere, WMASS
Posts: 288
Trading: (17)
Bolivar
TheStatsGuy will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Colonoscopy Remarks

"Wow and I didn't even have to buy you dinner first huh Doc!"
__________________
Why is it a dog rocket and not a cat crater?
TheStatsGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:05 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.