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#1 |
Guest
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Okay, so I'm old & married but I thought us senior citizens could lend a hand & help out the younger BOTL's with some of our best pick-up lines.
So I'll go first: "Hey, there's a party in your shoes and your pants are invited to come on down!" Look, it got me married & expecting a kid didn't it? Okay, not that one but you know, I'm full of 'em. |
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#2 |
I <3 Huy
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Me: Did it hurt?!?!?
Her: Huh? Me: When you fell from heaven! If I said you have an awesome body...would you hold it against me? If we went alone to the woods and I made a move would you tell anyone? Are your pants made of mirrors? I can see myself in them. Does you face hurt? Cuz it's killing me! ![]() Me: You are mean!!! Her: Why? Me: I can already see you breaking my heart!
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I'm not antisocial, I just think people are stupid. |
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#4 |
I <3 Huy
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true!!! I'd still be a virgin like Mr. Reindeer..
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I'm not antisocial, I just think people are stupid. |
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#6 |
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From the AWESOME T.V. show "Millionaire Matchmaker"....something along the lines of:
Guy: "Hi, you know, not to brag or anything, but I've got a LOT of money. Do you like to go shopping? Because I like to pamper a woman and take her shopping and give her the enjoyment that I receive being in her company. And some guys really mind if it seems you're after their money. I don't. You don't have to do anything like cooking or cleaning, you can just spend my money. And I have a lot of it." Girl: "But I like to cook and clean." Guy: "Oh, well, you don't have to, is all I'm saying." Ok, now youngins...I'm not suggesting you use this line. No, definitely don't use this line. |
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#7 |
Guest
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#8 | |
I <3 Huy
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![]() Quote:
You must be a speeding ticket...because you got FINE written all over you!! ![]()
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I'm not antisocial, I just think people are stupid. |
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#9 |
Munson, Roy E.??
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"Lets go back to my place and play army. I'll lay down and you can blow me away."
"If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, would it be ok if I came and visited you during the holidays?"
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Finally, Big Ern is above the law!! |
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#10 |
formerly illinoishoosier
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You must be milk, cuz you do my body good!
I feel a little dirty now... ![]()
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"Maybe I'm wrong, when they tell me they're right…..naaaaahhhhhh, I'm an asshooooooleeee"--Denis Leary |
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#12 |
Drowning Ex Gorilla
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This one always cracked me up.
Wanna come back to my house and do some Maths? You can add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we'll multiply. |
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#13 |
Feeling at Home
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Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really we'll, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
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#15 |
formerly illinoishoosier
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__________________
"Maybe I'm wrong, when they tell me they're right…..naaaaahhhhhh, I'm an asshooooooleeee"--Denis Leary |
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#17 |
Ashes,ashes,all fall down
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For the record I am not Fred Flintstone but I sure would love to make your Bedrock!
Hot buns... and I know this ain't no bakery Last edited by skullnrose; 03-13-2009 at 03:12 PM. Reason: added |
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#19 |
Still Watching My Back
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Using your index finger to call her over say; I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
and in honor of the up coming holiday - I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some? ![]()
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What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about? |
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#20 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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