Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-21-2014, 09:44 AM   #1
RUNYYFan
Life, Liberty, Happiness
 
RUNYYFan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
First Name: Marc
Location: Splitting time between Dayton, NJ and Needmore, PA
Posts: 360
Trading: (0)
Partagas
RUNYYFan will become famous soon enough
Default Innovative Weight Loss System

From the old file cabinet:

A guy is really bummed out about his physical condition. While watching TV late one night, he sees an ad for a new weight loss system that provides a buddy to help with exercise. So he calls company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5lbs as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10lbs program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10lbs as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25 lbs program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."

He lost 33 lbs that week.
__________________
Marc
Fear is the dark room in which negatives are developed. - Anon.
RUNYYFan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2014, 09:49 AM   #2
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,042
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: Innovative Weight Loss System

http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=66127

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2014, 12:06 PM   #3
RUNYYFan
Life, Liberty, Happiness
 
RUNYYFan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
First Name: Marc
Location: Splitting time between Dayton, NJ and Needmore, PA
Posts: 360
Trading: (0)
Partagas
RUNYYFan will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Innovative Weight Loss System

* head desk * My apologies. Admins, please delete.
__________________
Marc
Fear is the dark room in which negatives are developed. - Anon.
RUNYYFan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2014, 12:13 PM   #4
jhedrick83
GO VOLS!
 
jhedrick83's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
First Name: Jesse
Location: Knoxville
Posts: 402
Trading: (0)
jhedrick83 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Innovative Weight Loss System

Hey, great minds think alike!
jhedrick83 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:29 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.