Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-26-2012, 12:25 PM   #1
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in Manchester , just off Deansgate where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - ese men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework...'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. The are no men on this floor.. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street with the same rules.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 12:32 PM   #2
Big Bert
Been a long time coming
 
Big Bert's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
First Name: Albert
Location: Gardena, CA.
Posts: 373
Trading: (10)
HUpmann
Big Bert will become famous soon enough
Default Re: The Husband Store

man this is good Haha
__________________
Big Bert Approved
Big Bert is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 12:37 PM   #3
EricF
Ain't Never Gonna Leave
 
EricF's Avatar
10
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
First Name: Eric
Location: Miramar, FL
Posts: 7,004
Trading: (116)
RA
EricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: The Husband Store

__________________
It might taste crummy, but at least it's huge.
EricF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 12:39 PM   #4
363
Infecting Via PM
 
363's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: May 2012
First Name: Brendon
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,773
Trading: (35)
RA
363 has a spectacular aura about363 has a spectacular aura about363 has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: The Husband Store

LAWL.... this made my day!
__________________
Support our Troops "do NOT put pizza in your briar without letting it cool off Brendon" - Sterns
363 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 12:48 PM   #5
Dave128
Sexy Dave
 
Dave128's Avatar
3
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
First Name: Dave
Location: Voorheesville, NY
Posts: 3,922
Trading: (4)
Dave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really nice
Default Re: The Husband Store

That's awesome!
__________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin
I "heart" Boobies and Beer!
Dave128 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 12:56 PM   #6
Ogre
****CENSORED****
 
Ogre's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
First Name: Larry
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,068
Trading: (46)
Montecristo
Ogre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant future
Default Re: The Husband Store

__________________
Ogre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 01:05 PM   #7
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,042
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: The Husband Store

Very funny Mac!

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 01:26 PM   #8
whodeeni
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The Husband Store

Too Damn Funny Mac! Especially the reverse side!
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 01:30 PM   #9
SpruceBruce
Adjusting to the Life
 
SpruceBruce's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
First Name: Jimmy
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 301
Trading: (9)
Cohiba
SpruceBruce is on a distinguished road
Default Re: The Husband Store



Awesome.
SpruceBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 01:41 PM   #10
N2 GOLD
MIND OVER MATTER...
 
N2 GOLD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
First Name: RICO
Location: So. CAL 33° 44' 44" N / 117° 52' 0" W
Posts: 2,330
Trading: (1)
SCdlH
N2 GOLD will become famous soon enoughN2 GOLD will become famous soon enough
Default Re: The Husband Store

I love it...
__________________
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to ya.
N2 GOLD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 02:27 PM   #11
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,441
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: The Husband Store

Absolutely!
__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2012, 10:58 PM   #12
NeonNut
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The Husband Store

tis is the best joke ever....in the history of man kind
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2012, 12:17 AM   #13
Robulous78
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The Husband Store

HAHA... KNEE SMACKER!!! Thanks Mac
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:55 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.