Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-19-2008, 06:34 AM   #1
dunng
MassHole
 
dunng's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: MassHole
Posts: 4,719
Trading: (59)
Bolivar
dunng has disabled reputation
Default Drunk Driver

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Orange Beach, Alabama, noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road. The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.'

'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck. 'Tonight I'm the Designated decoy.


* I no way condone drunk driving *
__________________
MassHole Banter
dunng is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2008, 03:43 PM   #2
CBI_2
Have My Own Room
 
CBI_2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Paul
Location: In my skin.
Posts: 2,066
Trading: (0)
CBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: Drunk Driver

Very funny!
__________________
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff
CBI_2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2008, 03:47 PM   #3
md4958
Captain Cannoli
 
md4958's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Moe
Location: Suffield, CT
Posts: 5,712
Trading: (62)
HUpmann
md4958 has disabled reputation
Default Re: Drunk Driver


* I no way condone drunk driving *
[/quote]


funny chit my friend, but whats with the disclaimer??
__________________


"One fart can foul the air for everyone" - Esteemed philosopher
"If avoiding the nasty $hit is being a snob, them I am guilty as charged."- Same esteemed philosopher.
md4958 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2008, 04:09 PM   #4
dunng
MassHole
 
dunng's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: MassHole
Posts: 4,719
Trading: (59)
Bolivar
dunng has disabled reputation
Default Re: Drunk Driver

Quote:
Originally Posted by md4958 View Post

* I no way condone drunk driving *


funny chit my friend, but whats with the disclaimer??
Covering my
__________________
MassHole Banter
dunng is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2008, 04:32 PM   #5
GKitty
JAFO
 
GKitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Crystal
Location: Olathe, KS
Posts: 1,938
Trading: (8)
HdM
GKitty is just really niceGKitty is just really niceGKitty is just really niceGKitty is just really niceGKitty is just really nice
Default Re: Drunk Driver

Quote:
Originally Posted by md4958 View Post

* I no way condone drunk driving *

funny chit my friend, but whats with the disclaimer??[/quote]

Don't want to encourage the younguns to engage in dangerous behavior.

Anyone else call New Year's Eve "amatuer night"?
__________________
A lost SOTL wandering the weird landscape of domesticity.
GKitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2008, 05:30 PM   #6
G G
BR549
 
G G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: Taylor, FL.
Posts: 12,730
Trading: (10)
Bolivar
G G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant future
Default Re: Drunk Driver

Good one, and you can't be too careful these days.
G G is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2008, 06:08 PM   #7
Chris.
PSHC!
 
Chris.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Greenville, SC
Posts: 1,842
Trading: (25)
Partagas
Chris. will become famous soon enoughChris. will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Drunk Driver

pretty funny
__________________
http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/image.php?u=265&type=sigpic&dateline=1228179919
Chris. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2009, 01:52 PM   #8
AdamC
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Drunk Driver

I'm going to try this...little late I know...
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2009, 03:19 PM   #9
karmaz00
Habanos
 
karmaz00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
First Name: Jason
Location: victoria
Posts: 1,855
Trading: (1)
Partagas
karmaz00 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Drunk Driver

lol good one
karmaz00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2009, 03:25 PM   #10
heavyd
Adjusting to the Life
 
heavyd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
First Name: Dave
Location: La Mesa CA
Posts: 316
Trading: (22)
RA MarineCorps (Served With Honor)
heavyd has disabled reputation
Default Re: Drunk Driver

Hopefully the cop ran him for warrants. Chances are good that a mope like this has at least one
heavyd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2009, 10:28 AM   #11
Starscream
Knowhutimean, Vern?
 
Starscream's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Andy
Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA
Posts: 10,237
Trading: (4)
Partagas
Starscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Drunk Driver


Nicely played.
__________________

Insert quote here.
Starscream is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2009, 03:28 AM   #12
Metalnoise777
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Drunk Driver

too funny
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:21 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.