General Apology and Explanation

Talk about a strange couple of days.

I am going to try to clear the air about my thoughts on bombing people. Or rather more specifically people bombing me. I have long conveyed that I do not like to get bombed and that I would rather it be PIF’d than hit me.
This is only partially true. I have no desire for someone to bomb me purely because I sent something their way. I am not retaliatory in how I send things and I would hope that is never what is felt by the receiver. There is zero expectation other than to take what is received and enjoy it. In some cases I have been hit by those that I have sent stuff too, but I so far have never felt it too be in expectation of the next big bomb or that it lead to an escalation of packages back and forth.

Do I enjoy getting the odd package from a BOTL with a stick or two in it that he might think I would enjoy, absolutely I don’t think any of us would be able to honestly say otherwise. Should I be rewarded because I send out a few packages to people, well I don’t think so. If that is why I am doing it then in fact then I should be ostracized. Do I do it to get praise and recognition? I would like to think I am beyond that but perhaps there is a little part that likes that as well. I don’t bomb for the praise but it is nice to get I won’t say otherwise. But let’s be clear, at least half of the packages I have sent never get reported nor do I expect them too, in fact in some ways I am starting to lean on the side of some of the FOG’s maybe I should just send and forget, but I digress.

I think that perhaps some of the actions of yesterday might have got clouded and that fault falls squarely on my shoulders. I overreacted to something that I should have just been able to ignore. I also included something in with it that truly didn’t belong there. I am speaking of the “Fox Hunt” lumping it in with my anger towards the other post was wrong and put some unnecessary heat on those that where partaking in it. Do I want to be mass bombed……..no. Would I like those same guys to PIF it to someone else sure. Am I honored that they would consider me worthy you bet I am. I am saddened that I have caused so much angst amongst this great community of ours I am not great at accepting things, it embarrasses me, I do not think I am deserving of that kind of attention, don’t mistake it for humility that would imply that I am not self serving in my motives and that is not the case. For I should just be accepting of how things are and not try to force my will on the world, I guess by that I mean it isn’t for me to choose if people wish to send me something or not after all I certainly never follow that credo when sending packages. If I think that I would like to send something I don’t even remotely consider if the receiving person wishes to get it or not, I just go about getting their information and fire a package into the mail. Assuming that I can therefore insist on the other side that it doesn’t happen is therefore hypocritical.

This has then set brother against brother on what is my feelings and intentions around getting bombed. My hypocrisy is the very root of this angst, I set one set of rules for myself yet expect the rest of the community to follow another.

I would like to apologize to you all. Those that came to my defense, those that rose against. There is no defense for causing others any anguish. More specifically I would like to apologize to Al, he is and can be abrasive and opinionated, he has often told me that I cannot continue to send packages to others and expect to be exempt from the return, he has highlighted my hypocrisy and held me accountable for it, yet I laughed it off. He took a fair bit of flack for the hunt yesterday and today and I think it was misplaced, it is and should be my responsibility.

I hoped to word this such that it does not come the subject of much debate, I toyed with the idea of having the mods close it after I posted it, but that again is a hypocritical position. I hope this sheds some understanding, if I have wrongly said something or insulted someone or something isn’t clear please PM me give me a chance to right the wrong rather than causing another furious debate.

Thank you

[Skywalker]

Very nice reflective thought!!!

It is not always easy to see ourselves!!!

Good for you Fox!!!

[Scottw]

Nicely done Shawn. You're a fine individual!

[hotreds]

There is a reason you are one of the few with two smoke rings.....

[SmokeyJoe]

Shawn... you are a stand-up guy. I hope your transparency here will ease some of the angst that has sprung up around this incident.

Gotta say... I was surprised by the ferocity of the debate surrounding so many ancillary components of this saga. You have done all you can to put it to rest.

Blessings on you and this fine community.

[Don Fernando]

no apology needed Shawn IMHO but it shows exactly why I am proud to call you a friend.

[14holestogie]

Originally Posted by Don Fernando

no apology needed Shawn IMHO but it shows exactly why I am proud to call you a friend.

exactly.

[karmaz00]

agree

[massphatness]

My hats off to you, sir, for this post. I hope it defuses the anxiety that's been rippling through the Asylum, but even it doesn't, your actions here speak volumes about your character. It reinforces what I already knew to be true about you, and it's why I was "in" for the Fox Hunt in the first place. We would be a lesser community without you, Shawn. I'm glad you're here.

Originally Posted by massphatness

My hats off to you, sir, for this post. I hope it defuses the anxiety that's been rippling through the Asylum, but even it doesn't, your actions here speak volumes about your character. It reinforces what I already knew to be true about you, and it's why I was "in" for the Fox Hunt in the first place. We would be a lesser community without you, Shawn. I'm glad you're here.

Ditto.

Well said Shawn.

[awsmith4]

Well put Shawn

And for those that think this is just the internet I disagree. I don't want to start a debate but I feel this must be said. We are all a big family and disagreements happen, hell me and my real family fight a good bit. That doesn't mean we don't love each other.

Yesterday I drove over 460 miles (round trip) in one day just to sit down and smoke cigars with some guys I met on the internet. Silly? Maybe but I don't think so. I've met some of my best friends here and at CS and hope to meet many more. My point in saying that is that is we are more than just screen names, there is a good chance we may meet in person one day and I feel we should all show the same respect you would if we were face to face.

Shawn, Al and Wayne are all stand up guys and I personally am gonna consider this water under the bridge.

[LasciviousXXX]

Good post bro, glad you posted it. There will always be differences of opinion and disagreements between people, that's a given. Its how we react and deal with said situations that make us who we are, and that make CA what it is.

At the end of the day, whether Newbie or FOG, NC or CC smoker, man or woman... we are all part of the CA family and family sticks together.

[CigarDood]

This is the internet. Everyone just needs to mellow out :-)

[G G]

Well I don't know you that well Shawn, but so many of the friends I have here think very highly of you. I know it probably wasn't easy to be that self reflective, but I admire you that much more for having done so.

Excellent post Shawn!

God bless.

[Mugen910]

You had me at "Talk about strange."