Computer Diagnosis

retired · 03-22-2021, 10:19 AM

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m@sturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

markem · 03-22-2021, 10:32 AM

Hey! I was told that my diagnosis would not be shared!

Havanaaddict · 03-22-2021, 12:03 PM

CigarNut · 03-22-2021, 04:46 PM

03-22-2021, 10:19 AM	#1
retired Adjusting to the Life Join Date: Feb 2020 First Name: lenny Location: Kanuckistan..for now Posts: 372 Trading: (0)	Computer Diagnosis One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. ''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m@sturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better." __________________ smoke 'em if ya got 'em Hard to believe I beat out 2 million other sperm

03-22-2021, 10:32 AM	#2
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,621 Trading: (47)	Re: Computer Diagnosis Hey! I was told that my diagnosis would not be shared! __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

03-22-2021, 12:03 PM	#3
Havanaaddict Man in Black!!! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: V.I.P Room Partagas Factory Posts: 3,446 Trading: (1)	Re: Computer Diagnosis __________________ "If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions." "Hav-a-na nice day"

03-22-2021, 04:46 PM	#4
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: Computer Diagnosis __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.