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Old 06-17-2015, 11:39 AM   #1
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Default Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
I tell ya, sometimes young people can be so profoundly clever it hurts. A professor asked a question in a test:

Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

The student’s answer? Awesome:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct….. …leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’
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Old 06-17-2015, 11:44 AM   #2
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
Despite an absence of empirical data, that is still hellishly clever.
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Old 06-17-2015, 11:53 AM   #3
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
The hell you say!
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Old 06-17-2015, 11:56 AM   #4
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
Hell yeah! Devilish, even.
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Old 06-17-2015, 01:27 PM   #5
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
Can we get some pics of Teresa up in here?
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Old 06-17-2015, 03:47 PM   #6
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
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Old 06-17-2015, 06:20 PM   #7
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
Can you repeat the middle part again?
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Old 06-17-2015, 06:28 PM   #8
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
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Can you repeat the middle part again?
Do you mean Purgatory, or Limbo?
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Old 06-17-2015, 06:32 PM   #9
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
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Do you mean Purgatory, or Limbo?
Oh, I'm way too stiff to limbo.
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Old 06-17-2015, 06:34 PM   #10
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
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Oh, I'm way too stiff to limbo.
Do some push-ups, Paco, it will go away.
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Old 06-18-2015, 12:40 AM   #11
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
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Do some push-ups, Paco, it will go away.
Who told you my middle name?
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Old 06-17-2015, 09:31 PM   #12
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
Did he pass the test?
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Old 06-27-2015, 06:37 PM   #13
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
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Did he pass the test?
Pass / Fail and since he nailed the chick, I'm guessing it didn't matter.
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Old 06-27-2015, 07:12 PM   #14
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
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Pass / Fail and since he nailed the chick, I'm guessing it didn't matter.
Was the chick the professor's daughter? Might matter then.
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Old 06-27-2015, 11:22 PM   #15
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
I believe that was Mitch Cumstein and it was the Dean's daughter he was night putting with.
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Old 06-28-2015, 12:13 PM   #16
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Default Re: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
In the words of the immortal philosopher Jean Paul Sartre, 'au revoir, gopher.
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