Nine important facts

nutcracker · 12-15-2014, 08:38 AM

Nine Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older:

Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich, you have a 50% chance of being right...

Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

...and as someone recently said to me:

Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

shilala · 12-15-2014, 08:48 AM

I'd like some acid.

CigarNut · 12-15-2014, 09:30 AM

markem · 12-15-2014, 09:37 AM

The #1 cause of death in the history of the species is birth.

12-15-2014, 08:48 AM	#2
shilala Dear Lord, Thank You. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Posts: 13,721 Trading: (252)	Re: Nine important facts I'd like some acid. __________________

12-15-2014, 09:30 AM	#3
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: Nine important facts __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

12-15-2014, 09:37 AM	#4
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,621 Trading: (47)	Re: Nine important facts The #1 cause of death in the history of the species is birth. __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

12-15-2014, 08:38 AM	#1
nutcracker Shameless epicurian Join Date: Apr 2014 First Name: Neil Location: Winnipeg, Canada - Home of the Jets! Posts: 1,631 Trading: (26)	Nine important facts Nine Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older: Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world. Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted. Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich, you have a 50% chance of being right... Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing. Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal. Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow. ...and as someone recently said to me: Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long. __________________ "Well I ain't often right but I've never been wrong.... Jerry Garcia (R.I.P.)