An oldie from Mark Twain

8zeros · 04-01-2014, 05:38 PM

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped
to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer
be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained
would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2
might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the
same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with
"i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear
with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12
or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz
ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

RUNYYFan · 04-01-2014, 05:42 PM

As a writer, I love this one from Twain.

CigarNut · 04-01-2014, 07:00 PM

M1903A1 · 04-01-2014, 07:43 PM

I seem to remember a version of this that gradually converted English pronunciation into a strong German accent, ending with the ominous words "Ze drem vil finaly kom tru!".

8zeros · 04-02-2014, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M1903A1

I seem to remember a version of this that gradually converted English pronunciation into a strong German accent, ending with the ominous words "Ze drem vil finaly kom tru!".

English won out over German as the official language by one vote.

Mark Twain was a great humorist. Read "Roughing It" if you haven't.

04-01-2014, 05:38 PM	#1
8zeros What's this button do? Join Date: Dec 2013 First Name: Roger Location: Far from everything Posts: 268 Trading: (0)	An oldie from Mark Twain A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling by Mark Twain For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld. __________________

04-01-2014, 05:42 PM	#2
RUNYYFan Life, Liberty, Happiness Join Date: Feb 2010 First Name: Marc Location: Splitting time between Dayton, NJ and Needmore, PA Posts: 360 Trading: (0)	Re: An oldie from Mark Twain As a writer, I love this one from Twain. __________________ Marc Fear is the dark room in which negatives are developed. - Anon.

04-01-2014, 07:00 PM	#3
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: An oldie from Mark Twain __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

04-01-2014, 07:43 PM	#4
M1903A1 Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 1060 W. Addison Posts: 1,573 Trading: (4)	Re: An oldie from Mark Twain I seem to remember a version of this that gradually converted English pronunciation into a strong German accent, ending with the ominous words "Ze drem vil finaly kom tru!". __________________ "It's the cigars that bring us together, but it's the people that cause us to stay."