A Polish Divorce

Ogre · 11-01-2012, 04:31 PM

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day
he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

...The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:

"Have you any grounds"?
"Yes, an acre and half and nice little home".

"No, I meant what is the foundation of this case"?
It's made of concrete

"I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge"?
"No, we have carport, and not need one".

I mean, what are your physical relations like?
"All my relations still in Poland".

"Is there any infidelity in your marriage"?
"We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player".

"Does your wife beat you up"?
"No, I always up before her".

"Why do you want this divorce"?
"She going to kill me".

"What makes you think that"?
"I got proof".

"What kind of proof"?
"She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in
bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"

CigarNut · 11-01-2012, 05:25 PM

Brlesq · 11-01-2012, 05:32 PM

RevSmoke · 11-01-2012, 06:05 PM

Funny stuff right there.

RevSmoke · 11-01-2012, 06:05 PM

She's going to rub him out.

cmitch · 11-01-2012, 06:13 PM

So, you've been married a bit over a week and you're divorcing Leigh?

iaMkcK · 11-03-2012, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmitch

So, you've been married a bit over a week and you're divorcing Leigh?

ICING

ON

CAKE

shark · 11-03-2012, 10:41 AM

I don't get it.

363 · 11-01-2012, 06:43 PM

kelmac07 · 11-01-2012, 08:08 PM

EricF · 11-01-2012, 08:14 PM

11-01-2012, 04:31 PM	#1
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	A Polish Divorce A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. ...The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: "Have you any grounds"? "Yes, an acre and half and nice little home". "No, I meant what is the foundation of this case"? It's made of concrete "I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge"? "No, we have carport, and not need one". I mean, what are your physical relations like? "All my relations still in Poland". "Is there any infidelity in your marriage"? "We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player". "Does your wife beat you up"? "No, I always up before her". "Why do you want this divorce"? "She going to kill me". "What makes you think that"? "I got proof". "What kind of proof"? "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover" __________________

11-01-2012, 05:25 PM	#2
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: A Polish Divorce __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

11-01-2012, 05:32 PM	#3
Brlesq Carpe cigar! Join Date: May 2012 First Name: Bruce Location: Upstate NY Posts: 1,024 Trading: (17)	Re: A Polish Divorce __________________ Hey! How come "Habana" is written on here with a Sharpie ?!?

11-01-2012, 06:05 PM	#4
RevSmoke Ain't Never Gonna Leave Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Todd Location: Northcentral woods of Wisconsin Posts: 6,861 Trading: (51)	Re: A Polish Divorce Funny stuff right there. __________________ Todd__ "Smoke what you like, and enjoy it!"

11-01-2012, 06:05 PM	#5
RevSmoke Ain't Never Gonna Leave Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Todd Location: Northcentral woods of Wisconsin Posts: 6,861 Trading: (51)	Re: A Polish Divorce She's going to rub him out. __________________ Todd__ "Smoke what you like, and enjoy it!"

11-01-2012, 06:13 PM	#6
cmitch Heads up get down Join Date: Oct 2010 First Name: Clayton Location: NW Alabama by the river Posts: 2,720 Trading: (25)	Re: A Polish Divorce So, you've been married a bit over a week and you're divorcing Leigh? __________________ No matter what one's status is in society, cigars are the great equalizer where the affluent and common share a love for the leaf. - Me.

11-03-2012, 10:41 AM	#8
shark Cigar Smokin' Patriot Join Date: Sep 2009 First Name: Ron Location: Michigan Posts: 3,584 Trading: (0)	Re: A Polish Divorce I don't get it. __________________ Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery None but ourselves can free our minds

11-01-2012, 06:43 PM	#9
363 Infecting Via PM Join Date: May 2012 First Name: Brendon Location: Maryland Posts: 1,773 Trading: (35)	Re: A Polish Divorce __________________ Support our Troops "do NOT put pizza in your briar without letting it cool off Brendon" - Sterns

11-01-2012, 08:08 PM	#10
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: A Polish Divorce __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

11-01-2012, 08:14 PM	#11
EricF Ain't Never Gonna Leave Join Date: Oct 2010 First Name: Eric Location: Miramar, FL Posts: 7,004 Trading: (116)	Re: A Polish Divorce __________________ It might taste crummy, but at least it's huge.