20 things you don't say to a cop

Ogre · 07-13-2011, 07:12 PM

Don't say this to a cop

The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?

17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.

16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?

12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?

10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

9. I pay your salary

8. So uh, you on the take or what?

7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.

4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.

3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

cort · 07-13-2011, 07:13 PM

emopunker2004 · 07-13-2011, 07:15 PM

9. I pay your salary

You have no clue how many times I've heard that when I working in booking.

G G · 07-13-2011, 07:19 PM

Yeah and most of them Justin were probably on medicaid and get the unearned income credit and haven't paid any income taxes in their whole lives.

N2 GOLD · 07-13-2011, 07:29 PM

LOVE them all...

emopunker2004 · 07-14-2011, 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ggainey

Yeah and most of them Justin were probably on medicaid and get the unearned income credit and haven't paid any income taxes in their whole lives.

i usually just told them, "don't you need a job to pay my salary?"

icehog3 · 07-14-2011, 02:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emopunker2004

i usually just told them, "don't you need a job to pay my salary?"

Or, "Good.....I need a f***ing raise".

emopunker2004 · 07-14-2011, 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

Or, "Good.....I need a f***ing raise".

or "wow what do ya know, i pay taxes too. guess that means i pay my own salary..."

Coach Deg · 07-14-2011, 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ggainey

Yeah and most of them Justin were probably on medicaid and get the unearned income credit and haven't paid any income taxes in their whole lives.

I usually get it from irate parents after their kid gets in trouble.
I usually say then I want a raise, because you expect me to teach and do your job as a parent!

Drez · 07-14-2011, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emopunker2004

9. I pay your salary

You have no clue how many times I've heard that when I working in booking.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ggainey

Yeah and most of them Justin were probably on medicaid and get the unearned income credit and haven't paid any income taxes in their whole lives.

+1

hscmit · 07-13-2011, 07:29 PM

exactly

Bill86 · 07-13-2011, 07:35 PM

I've heard these all before, except #3.

kelmac07 · 07-13-2011, 07:49 PM

GolfNut · 07-13-2011, 08:08 PM

21. Here's my address, I'd love a CA Newsletter!

MedicCook · 07-13-2011, 08:12 PM

22. Don't make me call Icehog3

markem · 07-13-2011, 08:35 PM

23. Du-ude!

icehog3 · 07-14-2011, 02:14 AM

24. Do I know why I was pulled over? I was doing 20 dollars over the speed limit.

Steve · 07-14-2011, 08:33 AM

Nice!

shilala · 07-14-2011, 08:43 AM

I lol'd more than once. Bad cop no donut got me started. Thanks, Larry!!!

replicant_argent · 07-14-2011, 09:44 AM

42. Who transplanted someones thighs onto your arms, Ossifer Murphy?

07-13-2011, 07:12 PM	#1
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	20 things you don't say to a cop Don't say this to a cop The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over. 20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people? 17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job. 16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer. 15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. 14. Bad cop. No donut. 13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you? 12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence. 11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops? 10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds? 9. I pay your salary 8. So uh, you on the take or what? 7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning. 6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me. 4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist. 3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control. 2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum. 1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches? __________________

07-13-2011, 07:13 PM	#2
cort ◤◢◣◥ Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Gary Posts: 4,478 Trading: (41)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

07-13-2011, 07:19 PM	#4
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,731 Trading: (10)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop Yeah and most of them Justin were probably on medicaid and get the unearned income credit and haven't paid any income taxes in their whole lives.

07-13-2011, 07:29 PM	#5
N2 GOLD MIND OVER MATTER... Join Date: Feb 2011 First Name: RICO Location: So. CAL 33° 44' 44" N / 117° 52' 0" W Posts: 2,330 Trading: (1)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop LOVE them all... __________________ When I want your opinion, I'll give it to ya.

07-13-2011, 07:29 PM	#11
hscmit Have My Own Room Join Date: Sep 2010 First Name: James Location: no where Posts: 2,200 Trading: (4)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop exactly

07-13-2011, 07:15 PM	#3
emopunker2004 Central Fla rollin Join Date: Jan 2011 First Name: Justin Location: Winter Springs, FL Posts: 6,171 Trading: (46)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop 9. I pay your salary You have no clue how many times I've heard that when I working in booking. __________________ Cigar Asylum: Where all are equal, unless you are from CA, then you are more equal.

07-13-2011, 07:35 PM	#12
Bill86 Snob Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Bill Posts: 6,704 Trading: (67)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop I've heard these all before, except #3. __________________ I'm drunk......but I'll get drunker! - Doug Stanhope

07-13-2011, 07:49 PM	#13
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

07-13-2011, 08:08 PM	#14
GolfNut Back in the woodshop! Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Forrest Location: Living room Posts: 1,361 Trading: (38)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop 21. Here's my address, I'd love a CA Newsletter! __________________ www.wineadors.com

07-13-2011, 08:12 PM	#15
MedicCook Mila smoked my cigar Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Ryan Location: Schaghticoke, NY Posts: 10,946 Trading: (7)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop 22. Don't make me call Icehog3 __________________ 27 World Series Championship's "If your wife doesn't like the aroma of your cigar, change your wife.", Zino Davidoff

07-13-2011, 08:35 PM	#16
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,626 Trading: (47)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop 23. Du-ude! __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

07-14-2011, 02:14 AM	#17
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,490 Trading: (60)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop 24. Do I know why I was pulled over? I was doing 20 dollars over the speed limit. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

07-14-2011, 08:33 AM	#18
Steve Dad Jokester Supreme Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Steve Location: 17 R 435648 3354895 Posts: 7,715 Trading: (6)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop Nice! __________________ ...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide

07-14-2011, 08:43 AM	#19
shilala Dear Lord, Thank You. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Posts: 13,721 Trading: (252)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop I lol'd more than once. Bad cop no donut got me started. Thanks, Larry!!! __________________

07-14-2011, 09:44 AM	#20
replicant_argent Gravy Boat Winnah. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Pete Location: my attorney has advised against giving this information to insane people Posts: 5,326 Trading: (22)	Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop 42. Who transplanted someones thighs onto your arms, Ossifer Murphy? __________________ www.stogietorch.com Some days call for a stiff Pomade.