Parents: help needed

[pektel]

So, my 3 year old has developed a love of the word "f*cker" whenever he's upset. I have let foul language slip VERY rarely around him, but have never used that particular word. Mostly my slips have been when stubbin the toe, or when we are driving and someobe cuts me off. He primarily uses it when he is upset with either myself or his mom by calling us a "f*cker".

I'm sure it's not the first time someone has had a problem like this. Just wondering how anyone has squashed the issue. It's becoming very frustrating for me. He will be 4 in august.

Any suggestions are appreciated.
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[ashtonlady]

Can you try and make him understand what the word means and when it should be used?

[awsmith4]

I have a 4yr old boy who had a similar issue. I tried ignoring him, I tried calmly explaining, one day I lost it and whooped his backside. He has never said it since.

[N2 GOLD]

Originally Posted by awsmith4

I have a 4yr old boy who had a similar issue. I tried ignoring him, I tried calmly explaining, one day I lost it and whooped his backside. He has never said it since.

Good old fashioned discipline, nothing wrong with it... Some folks my not agree with it but I'll be DAMNED if any of my kids & are the ones who shoot up the school because I didnt put my foot down like a parent should...

This is more for the folks who are 30-plus & grew up with disciple before it was call child abuse... Nothing wrong with rosing up his backside alittle. By no means am I saying beat the kid just remind him who is the one in charge. Sometime a small pat on the butt is enough to keep him from using it again.

I had this problem with my 2 year old he would use the B-word...

Originally Posted by N2 GOLD

Good old fashioned discipline, nothing wrong with it... Some folks my not agree with it but I'll be DAMNED if any of my kids & are the ones who shoot up the school because I didnt put my foot down like a parent should...

This is more for the folks who are 30-plus & grew up with disciple before it was call child abuse... Nothing wrong with rosing up his backside alittle. By no means am I saying beat the kid just remind him who is the one in charge. Sometime a small pat on the butt is enough to keep him from using it again.

Use the pat on the butt as an attention getter about behavior/attitude/language/etc.





...and and LOL

Originally Posted by ashtonlady

Can you try and make him understand what the word means and when it should be used?

This is what I did with my daughter when she was around the same age. I was listening to a Godsmack song and didn't realize they were about to say f*ckin' until it happened. My daughter asked what that meant and I explained what was explained to me by a great friend of mine years ago when I said it for everything. I explained to her about how it can be used to place emphasis in certain situation but if used all of the time it loses its meaning and just gives the user the image of having a foul mouth. I also explained that if used very sparingly, it could help get a point across. She understood and other words came up on occasion. This seems to have worked for me.

Only once in the last year or two did I hear her start saying damn for everything. I reminded her of our talk, and a certain person that emulates that behavior, and she stopped because she didn't want to be seen that way.

I hope this helps.

[Ogre]

Good luck Bro. Thats a tough age to reason with.

[CoreyD]

calmly sit him down and through a talk point out healthy ways to get our feelings or frustrations out. Worked with my kid. and we have fun words when we stub the toe or get shot on xbox.

[junkinduck]

My mom beat my a55 and washed my mouth out with soap. Ivory if remember correctly.

[G G]

Originally Posted by junkinduck

My mom beat my a55 and washed my mouth out with soap. Ivory if remember correctly.

Yeah Don, same thing happened to me.

[Skywalker]

Just went through it myself!

We told our like guy that he could say other words instead!

We gave him examples! "Oh fiddlesticks!" It made it funny and gave him a positive rather than a negative!

If that doesn't work you can always slap the f**k out of him!!!

[OLS]

Originally Posted by junkinduck

My mom beat my a55 and washed my mouth out with soap. Ivory if remember correctly.

I am afraid I come down on this side. There is very little that will get past a good mouth-washing-out
with soap. If you explain that this is what dirty mouths get, it will definitely put the clamps on dirty words.
A55 whippins also work, but are best reserved for the soap not working. Get it good and wet and soapy
and get it all in there and work it around. It takes a LONG time to get that taste out of your mouth.

[Patrick B]

I have always done well with clearly detailed consequences to misbehaving followed up with unwavering, swift application of said consequences when needed. Kids will continue to do what they get away with. Give him a tough punishment next time, and that should be the last next time.

[Eleven]

The definitive answer:

Sentence Enhancers

[mash]

3 year olds aren't philosophy majors. I would just tell her it is a bad word and she isn't allowed to use it. You can explain it more when she's older.
Where do you think she's picking it up from?

[St. Lou Stu]

Originally Posted by mash

3 year olds aren't philosophy majors. I would just tell her it is a bad word and she isn't allowed to use it. You can explain it more when she's older.
Where do you think she's picking it up from?

Words of wisdom.

I had a similar issue. Also 3-4 year old.
I knew where my daughter heard it (for those that know me... can you believe it wasn't me? )
I would never touch my daughter out of discipline or for any reason for that matter.
I simply used my booming, stern tone that she knows means business and proceeded to tell her that she was not to repeat what she had heard. I said I don't care who she heard say it, but that isn't something little girls say. I asked if she understood, to which she said yes... then laid on the tears.

I always think that adopting a no touch, stern talking approach early on is the best approach. Physical contact only leads to aggression by them later.

Good luck

[MrsSledn]

Originally Posted by St. Lou Stu

Words of wisdom.

I had a similar issue. Also 3-4 year old.
I knew where my daughter heard it (for those that know me... can you believe it wasn't me? )
I would never touch my daughter out of discipline or for any reason for that matter.
I simply used my booming, stern tone that she knows means business and proceeded to tell her that she was not to repeat what she had heard. I said I don't care who she heard say it, but that isn't something little girls say. I asked if she understood, to which she said yes... then laid on the tears.

I always think that adopting a no touch, stern talking approach early on is the best approach. Physical contact only leads to aggression by them later.

Good luck

I totally agree with this!

I don't deny that my son hears me say bad words. Wes once called me out and said, "You dropped the F bomb 5 times during that phone conversation." Okay. Fair. I did. For those who play with my hubby on XBox... How is his swearing? LOL

[kelmac07]

Good 'ole fashion butt whoppin' is what I remember getting and the soap in the mouth as well.

[GolfNut]

Soap, whippin...yup I had all of those too.

Our son at that time used to say Fire-f@ck Fire-F@ck everytime he saw a firetruck go by. Funny stuff really......then there was the embarrassing Easter dinner with friends when our daughter announced celebrating the re-erection of Christ. We all pretty much lost it around the table that night.

Originally Posted by awsmith4

I have a 4yr old boy who had a similar issue. I tried ignoring him, I tried calmly explaining, one day I lost it and whooped his backside. He has never said it since.

Originally Posted by junkinduck

My mom beat my a55 and washed my mouth out with soap. Ivory if remember correctly.

Originally Posted by kelmac07

Good 'ole fashion butt whoppin' is what I remember getting and the soap in the mouth as well.

Originally Posted by GolfNut

Soap, whippin...yup I had all of those too.

This approach, if done correctly, will work for SOME kids. For some it does the complete opposite and causes serious damage to relationships. I'll give you two personal examples of where it didn't work.

All of my life I have had horrible allergy/sinus issues. When I was a child my doctor said I had the worse case of allergies he'd seen in any man, woman, or child. So, I've always had a little "snort" of sorts. If I don't snort I can't breathe right. Well, sitting in my 1st grade class in Catholic school the nun teaching it would tell me not to do that. I couldn't stop. She proceeded to hit me with a ruler/yard stick across the hands. I didn't like that and after several of her attempts to correct my "behavior" I told the old b!tch to f*ck off. She proceeded to wash my mouth out with soap. Well, I couldn't do anything physically to this hooded bully, so I cussed her out as much as I could until I was suspended. My parents took me out of the school soon afterward. As for the nun, she was supposed to represent God. Because of her actions, and the constant sermons of Hell, Satan, and punishment, I began to associate God with anger, hate, and abuse. I never looked back at the Catholic church once I left and only returned to God 20 years later after hearing the loving side of the story and witnessing some of the finer points of some believers actions.

Now that I typed it out I'll PM the second example so that it's not hanging out on the interweb forever for everyone to see.

The point is, physical discipline works for some and not for others, physical punishment for none, and physical discipline can actually make one associate you in a way that you don't want. The reason it works for some is measurable psychologically, but I won't go into that, but it can cause far more harm than good.