Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-23-2010, 02:56 PM   #1
markem
Bunion
 
markem's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Mark
Location: Second Star on the Right
Posts: 22,621
Trading: (47)
HUpmann
markem has disabled reputation
Default A car for Xmas

Danny had recently passed his driving test and decided to ask his clergyman father if there was any chance of him getting a car for Christmas, which was yet some months away. 'Okay.' said his father 'I tell you what I'll do. If you can get your 'A' level grades up to 'A's and 'B's, study your bible and get your hair cut, I'll consider the matter very seriously.'


A couple of months later Danny went back to his father who said 'I'm really impressed by your commitment to your studies. Your grades are excellent and the work you have put into your bible studies is very encouraging. However, I have to say I'm very disappointed that you haven't had your hair cut yet.


Danny was a smart young man who was never lost for an answer. 'Look dad. In the course of my bible studies I've noticed in the illustrations that Moses, John the Baptist, Samson and even Jesus had long hair.' 'Yes. I'm aware of that...' replied his father '... but did you also notice they walked wherever they went?'
__________________
I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
~ Groucho Marx
markem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 05:00 PM   #2
Blindjimme
Judgement Impaired
 
Blindjimme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: JB
Location: North OC, CA
Posts: 790
Trading: (14)
Partagas Navy (Served With Honor)
Blindjimme will become famous soon enough
Default Re: A car for Xmas

Love it.
Blindjimme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 05:02 PM   #3
shilala
Dear Lord, Thank You.
 
shilala's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Scott
Posts: 13,721
Trading: (252)
Cuaba
shilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A car for Xmas

Lol
__________________
shilala is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 08:59 PM   #4
Ogre
****CENSORED****
 
Ogre's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
First Name: Larry
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,068
Trading: (46)
Montecristo
Ogre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant future
Default Re: A car for Xmas

That was great, Will have to remember that one.
Ogre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2010, 10:51 AM   #5
guitar4001
Adjusting to the Life
 
guitar4001's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
First Name: Paul
Location: Between Goldsboro, NC and Africa
Posts: 359
Trading: (0)
VR Army (Active)
guitar4001 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: A car for Xmas

Quote:
Originally Posted by markem View Post
Danny had recently passed his driving test and decided to ask his clergyman father if there was any chance of him getting a car for Christmas, which was yet some months away. 'Okay.' said his father 'I tell you what I'll do. If you can get your 'A' level grades up to 'A's and 'B's, study your bible and get your hair cut, I'll consider the matter very seriously.'


A couple of months later Danny went back to his father who said 'I'm really impressed by your commitment to your studies. Your grades are excellent and the work you have put into your bible studies is very encouraging. However, I have to say I'm very disappointed that you haven't had your hair cut yet.


Danny was a smart young man who was never lost for an answer. 'Look dad. In the course of my bible studies I've noticed in the illustrations that Moses, John the Baptist, Samson and even Jesus had long hair.' 'Yes. I'm aware of that...' replied his father '... but did you also notice they walked wherever they went?'
very funny.
guitar4001 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2010, 01:38 PM   #6
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A car for Xmas

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2010, 01:41 PM   #7
G G
BR549
 
G G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: Taylor, FL.
Posts: 12,725
Trading: (10)
Bolivar
G G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant future
Default Re: A car for Xmas

I heard Jerry Clower tell that one, hilarious
G G is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2010, 08:39 PM   #8
Starscream
Knowhutimean, Vern?
 
Starscream's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Andy
Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA
Posts: 10,237
Trading: (4)
Partagas
Starscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: A car for Xmas

Quote:
Originally Posted by ggainey View Post
I heard Jerry Clower tell that one, hilarious
That does sound like a Clower joke.

__________________

Insert quote here.
Starscream is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2010, 10:19 PM   #9
hotreds
Ephesians 2:8
 
hotreds's Avatar
13
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: 5 miles past "Resume Speed"
Posts: 11,662
Trading: (63)
Bolivar
hotreds has disabled reputation
Default Re: A car for Xmas

Very good! Reminds me of the old Muhammad Ali joke:

Ali is taking off in a plane when a stewardess tells him to fasten his seatbelt.

"Superman don't need no seatbelt!"
"Superman don't need no plane, either!"
__________________
God loves you so much, that he made you read this, just to let you know.
hotreds is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:52 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.