What pets write in their diaries

SNKBYT · 06-21-2010, 04:02 PM

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Insufferable!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

bvilchez · 06-21-2010, 04:05 PM

LMMFAO....that chit was hilarious
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Blindjimme · 06-21-2010, 04:32 PM

Too good!

tomc3084 · 06-21-2010, 05:45 PM

Friggin' Hilarious, best part: The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

kelmac07 · 06-21-2010, 05:49 PM

Nice!

KenyanSandBoa · 06-22-2010, 09:48 AM

...I loved that one!!

I have all of those animals, so I'll never look at them the same way.

06-21-2010, 04:02 PM	#1
SNKBYT PATRIOT and VETERAN Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Alex Location: SWEET HOME ALABAMA Posts: 3,289 Trading: (30)	What pets write in their diaries Excerpts from a Dog's Diary...... 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary... Day 983 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Insufferable! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................ __________________ "IF YOU WANT TO TAKE MY FREEDOM, MAKE DAMN SURE THAT YOU'RE AS PASSSIONATE ABOUT TAKING IT AS I AM ABOUT KEEPING IT"

06-21-2010, 04:05 PM	#2
bvilchez En búsqueda..... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Bolivar aka Jay Location: Back in SoCal Posts: 3,202 Trading: (76)	Re: What pets write in their diaries LMMFAO....that chit was hilarious Posted via Mobile Device

06-21-2010, 04:32 PM	#3
Blindjimme Judgement Impaired Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: JB Location: North OC, CA Posts: 790 Trading: (14)	Re: What pets write in their diaries Too good!

06-21-2010, 05:45 PM	#4
tomc3084 Feeling at Home Join Date: Dec 2009 First Name: Tom Location: Baden, PA Posts: 710 Trading: (26)	Re: What pets write in their diaries Friggin' Hilarious, best part: The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. __________________ [SIGPIC]

06-21-2010, 05:49 PM	#5
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: What pets write in their diaries Nice! __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

06-22-2010, 09:48 AM	#6
KenyanSandBoa The Nightman Cometh... Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Jim Location: Massholia Posts: 1,463 Trading: (74)	Re: What pets write in their diaries ...I loved that one!! I have all of those animals, so I'll never look at them the same way. __________________ I hope you brought a change of clothes because your eyes are about to piss tears.