I have a question maybe you can help me with

tomc3084 · 05-20-2010, 07:36 AM

Okay, here is the scenario...You have a set of two very nice HTF cigars set aside for you and a buddy to smoke. The occasion arises and he then comes over to smoke. He brings some cigars with him. You give him the cigar to smoke, and you have one also, like I said. He then pulls out one of his cigars and says, "I am going to save this for a special occasion." Keep in mind this was not a "special occasion" but still, I consider it pretty damn special to be smoking this specific cigar, so I guess yes, it actually was a special occasion. To be specific, he said he was going to wait 'till Christmas to smoke it. I was very heated about this, but I did not speak up and say anything. Well, anyways, my question to you is: What do you think of the situation, and what would you have done about it? TIA.........
-Tommy

Superbad · 05-20-2010, 07:41 AM

I can understand your dismay. I know this is after the fact but I would have said I have been saving this for now, for the two of us to enjoy together. In the future, if you do hand him a non dog rocket ever again

clip the head and then hand it over, it will show him you want to smoke the cigars now.

E.J. · 05-20-2010, 07:49 AM

Man that is a tough one....

I would like to say that I would say nothing, smoke my cigar and enjoy the moment, hope that when he smokes the cigar I gave him, he enjoys the Hell out of it....

But if I want to smoke 2 HTF's with a friend....I would think that discussion of the smoke while we were doing it would be part of what I was looking for.... Who knows... Long story short, I would hope that I could just let it go and enjoy....

Consider it pretty cool that you provided him with a Christmas Smoke....

68TriShield · 05-20-2010, 08:01 AM

Next time I'd say make it clear you wanted to share the cigars now.
It will save you some aggravation.

HK3- · 05-20-2010, 08:05 AM

It happens. When you have your mind set on smoking a certain cigar and someone throws you a curve ball you tend to stick with what you had in mind from the get go. I agree with the above on clipping the head and then handing it over. This would suggest smoking it now vs. just smoke it when you want to. FWIW- I would have taken the hint and smoked it with you then.

Mugen910 · 05-20-2010, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 68TriShield

Next time I'd say make it clear you wanted to share the cigars now.
It will save you some aggravation.

If he's your buddy then there should be no reason to tip toe around his feelings or yours.

Quote:

Originally Posted by poker

Sometimes when I have a bunch of guys come over on the patio there have been times I been handed 12+ cigars. Its kind of hard to smoke all or even most of them so you understand when I say I been on both sides of the fence.

I swear I tried Kelly, you didn't want me to turn green!

poker · 05-20-2010, 08:19 AM

I have been on both sides of the fence. If you give him a cigar, its really no longer yours to decide when he should light it.

If you gave it to him strictly to smoke right there and then, let him know that fact when you hand it to him.

Sometimes when I have a bunch of guys come over on the patio there have been times I been handed 12+ cigars. Its kind of hard to smoke all or even most of them so you understand when I say I been on both sides of the fence.

Volt · 05-20-2010, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poker

I have been on both sides of the fence. If you give him a cigar, its really no longer yours to decide when he should light it.

If you gave it to him strictly to smoke right there and then, let him know that fact when you hand it to him.

Sometimes when I have a bunch of guys come over on the patio there have been times I been handed 12+ cigars. Its kind of hard to smoke all or even most of them so you understand when I say I been on both sides of the fence.

I have to agree. Sounds like a minor communication issue. I just had this conversation with another person on a different topic. A little more clarity on your expectations might have kept you from being upset. Then again, other like me don't do subtle. I can't even spell it. Someone wants a specific smoke with me they better say, "hey, I brought these to burn tonight, lit it up

" Especially if I shoqwed up with a particular stick for myself to burn.

CigarNut · 05-20-2010, 08:27 AM

A little polite assertiveness goes a long way. If you bring a cigar for someone to smoke, you should let them know when you hand it to them: "I brought this for you to smoke with me tonight so we can compare notes" or something of the sort.

Having said that, be prepared for your buddy to have other priorities; don't get aggravated over the situation as you just ruin your own good-time.

pnoon · 05-20-2010, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CigarNut

A little polite assertiveness goes a long way. If you bring a cigar for someone to smoke, you should let them know when you hand it to them: "I brought this for you to smoke with me tonight so we can compare notes" or something of the sort.

Having said that, be prepared for your buddy to have other priorities; don't get aggravated over the situation as you just ruin your own good-time.

Bingo!

icehog3 · 05-20-2010, 09:04 AM

When you hand a friend a cigar, it is now theirs. They can do with it whatever they like.

Emjaysmash · 05-20-2010, 09:54 AM

I would've told him the purpose of those two HTFs. My friend and I actually talked about having a HTF smoke together for a special occasion, before we bought the smokes. Each of us has an identical Opus X from last year, we're saving for another couple of years. Even if I had been the one buying them, and storing them, I probably would've told him I had two cigars that I wanted to smoke together on a special occasion. Then we'd plan when the special occasion was. Like others have said, slight miscommunication. I wouldn't, however take the cigar back or anything if there was a miscommunication. Not much you can do once it's in his possesion.

Col. Kurtz · 05-20-2010, 10:05 AM

Kelly and Tom are dead on. You gave him the cigar. Ask him at New Years how it was.

Brutus2600 · 05-20-2010, 10:15 AM

I think that at the time you could've just suggested "Oh, well I was hoping to smoke it with you tonight so that we could compare thoughts on it", you know, nothing that was overly pushy, just telling him what you meant to do with those cigars.

Now that it's after the fact...like others have said, not really any point in getting frustrated about it now or saying anything to him. Just know that you gifted a cigar to a BOTL and that when he lights it up Christmas he will think of your generosity and enjoy that cigar even more than he would if he had bought it himself.

05-21-2010, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brutus2600

I think that at the time you could've just suggested "Oh, well I was hoping to smoke it with you tonight so that we could compare thoughts on it", you know, nothing that was overly pushy, just telling him what you meant to do with those cigars.

Now that it's after the fact...like others have said, not really any point in getting frustrated about it now or saying anything to him. Just know that you gifted a cigar to a BOTL and that when he lights it up Christmas he will think of your generosity and enjoy that cigar even more than he would if he had bought it himself.

Patrick B · 05-20-2010, 11:51 PM

I'm not very touchy feely so I would have said light it now or give it back!

Stinky · 05-21-2010, 12:36 AM

We all live and learn. Most all of us have been in that same situation. The good advice shared above is "experience talking". You'll do better next time! Good subject.

05-21-2010, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomc3084

Okay, here is the scenario...You have a set of two very nice HTF cigars set aside for you and a buddy to smoke. The occasion arises and he then comes over to smoke. He brings some cigars with him. You give him the cigar to smoke, and you have one also, like I said. He then pulls out one of his cigars and says, "I am going to save this for a special occasion." Keep in mind this was not a "special occasion" but still, I consider it pretty damn special to be smoking this specific cigar, so I guess yes, it actually was a special occasion. To be specific, he said he was going to wait 'till Christmas to smoke it. I was very heated about this, but I did not speak up and say anything. Well, anyways, my question to you is: What do you think of the situation, and what would you have done about it? TIA.........
-Tommy

If the guy is a buddy, give him the benefit of the doubt. I tend to prefer strong, heavy cigars, but every once in a while I have some bad sushi for lunch or something and I'm not up to it. Maybe he wasn't feeling up to anything but an old reliable-what do you think?

cjf

rizzle · 05-21-2010, 12:50 PM

Absolutely nothing. I would have taken it as a compliment that he thought enough of my gift to warrant saving it for a "special occassion".

stearns · 05-21-2010, 12:58 PM

just preface the handing of the cigar with an 'ive been saving these to smoke together, lets light them up!' that should solve any communication issues

stearns

05-20-2010, 07:36 AM	#1
tomc3084 Feeling at Home Join Date: Dec 2009 First Name: Tom Location: Baden, PA Posts: 710 Trading: (26)	I have a question maybe you can help me with Okay, here is the scenario...You have a set of two very nice HTF cigars set aside for you and a buddy to smoke. The occasion arises and he then comes over to smoke. He brings some cigars with him. You give him the cigar to smoke, and you have one also, like I said. He then pulls out one of his cigars and says, "I am going to save this for a special occasion." Keep in mind this was not a "special occasion" but still, I consider it pretty damn special to be smoking this specific cigar, so I guess yes, it actually was a special occasion. To be specific, he said he was going to wait 'till Christmas to smoke it. I was very heated about this, but I did not speak up and say anything. Well, anyways, my question to you is: What do you think of the situation, and what would you have done about it? TIA......... -Tommy __________________ [SIGPIC]

05-20-2010, 07:41 AM	#2
Superbad Have My Own Room Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Bobby Location: Panama City, FL Posts: 1,784 Trading: (53)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with I can understand your dismay. I know this is after the fact but I would have said I have been saving this for now, for the two of us to enjoy together. In the future, if you do hand him a non dog rocket ever again clip the head and then hand it over, it will show him you want to smoke the cigars now.

05-20-2010, 07:49 AM	#3
E.J. I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 3,218 Trading: (21)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with Man that is a tough one.... I would like to say that I would say nothing, smoke my cigar and enjoy the moment, hope that when he smokes the cigar I gave him, he enjoys the Hell out of it.... But if I want to smoke 2 HTF's with a friend....I would think that discussion of the smoke while we were doing it would be part of what I was looking for.... Who knows... Long story short, I would hope that I could just let it go and enjoy.... Consider it pretty cool that you provided him with a Christmas Smoke....

05-20-2010, 08:01 AM	#4
68TriShield Got Torque? Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dave Location: Maryland Posts: 7,194 Trading: (40)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with Next time I'd say make it clear you wanted to share the cigars now. It will save you some aggravation.

05-20-2010, 08:05 AM	#5
HK3- Cashmere Jungle Lord Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Boffa Location: The town so nice they named it twice Posts: 5,035 Trading: (48)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with It happens. When you have your mind set on smoking a certain cigar and someone throws you a curve ball you tend to stick with what you had in mind from the get go. I agree with the above on clipping the head and then handing it over. This would suggest smoking it now vs. just smoke it when you want to. FWIW- I would have taken the hint and smoked it with you then.

05-20-2010, 08:19 AM	#7
poker 1:11 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Kelly Location: SoCal Posts: 5,280 Trading: (7)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with I have been on both sides of the fence. If you give him a cigar, its really no longer yours to decide when he should light it. If you gave it to him strictly to smoke right there and then, let him know that fact when you hand it to him. Sometimes when I have a bunch of guys come over on the patio there have been times I been handed 12+ cigars. Its kind of hard to smoke all or even most of them so you understand when I say I been on both sides of the fence. __________________ Cigar Asylum: A cigar board birthed without agendas, without profiting, and without advertisements. Amor puro Character is what you do when no one is watching

05-20-2010, 08:27 AM	#9
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with A little polite assertiveness goes a long way. If you bring a cigar for someone to smoke, you should let them know when you hand it to them: "I brought this for you to smoke with me tonight so we can compare notes" or something of the sort. Having said that, be prepared for your buddy to have other priorities; don't get aggravated over the situation as you just ruin your own good-time. __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

05-20-2010, 09:04 AM	#11
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,440 Trading: (60)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with When you hand a friend a cigar, it is now theirs. They can do with it whatever they like. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

05-20-2010, 09:54 AM	#12
Emjaysmash The Hebrew Hammer Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: M.J. Location: Milwaukee, WI Posts: 7,025 Trading: (76)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with I would've told him the purpose of those two HTFs. My friend and I actually talked about having a HTF smoke together for a special occasion, before we bought the smokes. Each of us has an identical Opus X from last year, we're saving for another couple of years. Even if I had been the one buying them, and storing them, I probably would've told him I had two cigars that I wanted to smoke together on a special occasion. Then we'd plan when the special occasion was. Like others have said, slight miscommunication. I wouldn't, however take the cigar back or anything if there was a miscommunication. Not much you can do once it's in his possesion. __________________

05-20-2010, 10:05 AM	#13
Col. Kurtz Have My Own Room Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Jerry Location: South Appleton Posts: 1,839 Trading: (26)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with Kelly and Tom are dead on. You gave him the cigar. Ask him at New Years how it was. __________________ Artillery Lends Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be a Vulgar Brawl

05-20-2010, 10:15 AM	#14
Brutus2600 Your resident lancerHO Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Brian Location: Fort Worth, TX Posts: 2,063 Trading: (46)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with I think that at the time you could've just suggested "Oh, well I was hoping to smoke it with you tonight so that we could compare thoughts on it", you know, nothing that was overly pushy, just telling him what you meant to do with those cigars. Now that it's after the fact...like others have said, not really any point in getting frustrated about it now or saying anything to him. Just know that you gifted a cigar to a BOTL and that when he lights it up Christmas he will think of your generosity and enjoy that cigar even more than he would if he had bought it himself.

05-20-2010, 11:51 PM	#16
Patrick B Feeling at Home Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Cincinnati OH Posts: 713 Trading: (6)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with I'm not very touchy feely so I would have said light it now or give it back!

05-21-2010, 12:36 AM	#17
Stinky Join CigarRights.org NOW! Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Stinky Location: Las Vegas, Nevada Posts: 229 Trading: (1)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with We all live and learn. Most all of us have been in that same situation. The good advice shared above is "experience talking". You'll do better next time! Good subject. __________________ Promoting the Enjoyment of Fine Cigars!

05-21-2010, 12:50 PM	#19
rizzle Order Restored Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: st pete, fl Posts: 2,679 Trading: (23)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with Absolutely nothing. I would have taken it as a compliment that he thought enough of my gift to warrant saving it for a "special occassion".

05-21-2010, 12:58 PM	#20
stearns Dogbert Consultant Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Ben Location: Park Hill Posts: 5,391 Trading: (50)	Re: I have a question maybe you can help me with just preface the handing of the cigar with an 'ive been saving these to smoke together, lets light them up!' that should solve any communication issues stearns __________________ "Ignoring all the racket of conventional reality" - Keller Williams