New Years Resolutions you can keep...

Steve · 01-04-2010, 10:30 AM

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can ACTUALLY accomplish?

Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

~ Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
~ Stop exercising. Waste of time.
~ Read less. Makes you think.
~ Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
~ Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
~ Spend more time at work, surfing the web.
~ Take a vacation to someplace important, like to see the world's largest ball of twine.
~ Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
~ Stop bringing lunch from home--eat out more.
~ Don't have eight children at once.
~ Get in a whole NEW rut!
~ Start being superstitious.
~ Personal goal: Don't bring back disco.
~ Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words.
~ Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
~ Spend my summer vacation in cyberspace.
~ Create loose ends.
~ Get more toys.
~ Get further in debt.
~ Don't believe politicians.
~ Break at least one traffic law.
~ Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
~ Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.
~ Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them.
~ Wait for opportunity to knock.
~ Focus on the faults of others.
~ Mope about faults.
~ Never make New Year's resolutions again.

Powers · 01-04-2010, 10:37 AM

thats pretty good bro! i've done a few of those

paris1129 · 01-04-2010, 10:41 AM

Amen!

Skywalker · 01-04-2010, 06:19 PM

I vow to do all of the above!!!

markem · 01-04-2010, 06:22 PM

I resolve to give up nude skydiving into cactus patches.

paris1129 · 01-04-2010, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markem

I resolve to give up nude skydiving into cactus patches.

I was going to give that up for Lent...

Silound · 01-04-2010, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markem

I resolve to give up nude skydiving into cactus patches.

I was going to give that up....then I just broke down and bought her a good razor.

Ok, yes, I know that was wrong

She got a laugh though!

kelmac07 · 01-04-2010, 06:22 PM

Nice!!

G G · 01-04-2010, 06:31 PM

That was my 2009 resolutions.

01-04-2010, 10:30 AM	#1
Steve Dad Jokester Supreme Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Steve Location: 17 R 435648 3354895 Posts: 7,715 Trading: (6)	New Years Resolutions you can keep... Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can ACTUALLY accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point: ~ Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. ~ Stop exercising. Waste of time. ~ Read less. Makes you think. ~ Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff. ~ Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow. ~ Spend more time at work, surfing the web. ~ Take a vacation to someplace important, like to see the world's largest ball of twine. ~ Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did. ~ Stop bringing lunch from home--eat out more. ~ Don't have eight children at once. ~ Get in a whole NEW rut! ~ Start being superstitious. ~ Personal goal: Don't bring back disco. ~ Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words. ~ Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt. ~ Spend my summer vacation in cyberspace. ~ Create loose ends. ~ Get more toys. ~ Get further in debt. ~ Don't believe politicians. ~ Break at least one traffic law. ~ Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice. ~ Don't swim with piranhas or sharks. ~ Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them. ~ Wait for opportunity to knock. ~ Focus on the faults of others. ~ Mope about faults. ~ Never make New Year's resolutions again. __________________ ...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide

01-04-2010, 10:37 AM	#2
Powers Swamp Ash member in exile Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Fayetteville, Arkansas Posts: 2,283 Trading: (17)	Re: New Years Resolutions you can keep... thats pretty good bro! i've done a few of those __________________ "There is true glory and true honor: the glory of duty done, the honor of integrity and principle" - Robert E. Lee

01-04-2010, 10:41 AM	#3
paris1129 Adjusting to the Life Join Date: Dec 2009 First Name: Matthew Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 296 Trading: (4)	Re: New Years Resolutions you can keep... Amen! __________________ *By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.*

01-04-2010, 06:19 PM	#4
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: New Years Resolutions you can keep... I vow to do all of the above!!! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

01-04-2010, 06:22 PM	#5
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,625 Trading: (47)	Re: New Years Resolutions you can keep... I resolve to give up nude skydiving into cactus patches. __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

01-04-2010, 06:22 PM	#8
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: New Years Resolutions you can keep... Nice!! __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

01-04-2010, 06:31 PM	#9
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,730 Trading: (10)	Re: New Years Resolutions you can keep... That was my 2009 resolutions.