Let's talk about gnomes...

ucla695 · 05-01-2009, 09:47 PM

Every time my wife sees a Travelocity commercial she talks about how cute the gnome is. Ok, I was luke warm on the idea...decent marketing tool...helps you get into the pitch...whatever.

That was UNTIL one showed up in the back today. WTF? That little guy stared at me all evening as I enjoyed a couple of cigars while grilling some corn, sausages and porterhouse steaks. I even put a little pair of sunglasses on the dude so I couldn't tell he was giving me the stare down. It didn't help. Straight up disturbing!! That's all I have to say.

Anyone else have a problem with them?

If you do, keep it down so he doesn't hear.

05-01-2009, 09:49 PM

They are freaking creepy. I feel for you.

HK3- · 05-01-2009, 09:52 PM

Get some pink flamingos to hang out with him. When she complains about them, you have made your point.

Texan in Mexico · 05-01-2009, 09:55 PM

The Gnomes can be very powerful beings.

In my one of the most comprehensive economic books written, The Money Game, they talk about the power the Swiss Gnomes have. You see they control the gold bullion in Switzerland thereby controlling many of the world's currencies and possibly affecting national elections and public policy in most of the Western world.

So in other worlds, treat him with respect and ask him if he has any family in Switzerland.

markem · 05-01-2009, 10:03 PM

Be careful that it isn't a gnome with swine flu. You can never be too careful.

Texan in Mexico · 05-01-2009, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markem

Be careful that it isn't a gnome with swine flu. You can never be too careful.

Dont invoke the Mexican Gnomes or as they are called here - Aluxes!

M1903A1 · 05-01-2009, 10:04 PM

Turn it to face your least favorite neighbors. Let THEM freak out over being stared down!

HK3- · 05-01-2009, 10:10 PM

Does it have an upside down triangle on it's head?

MedicCook · 05-01-2009, 10:16 PM

Get one of those wooden owl's for it to play with.

MajorCaptSilly · 05-01-2009, 10:20 PM

Garden Gnomes have been plotting world domination for many years. I have chronicled my war with the Gnomes on alt.smokers.pipes.

MCS

Texan in Mexico · 05-01-2009, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly

Garden Gnomes have been plotting world domination for many years. I have chronicled my war with the Gnomes on alt.smokers.pipes.

MCS

Some have been known to drive black Suburbans. I bet they are band that Black Band Project!

bonjing · 05-01-2009, 10:20 PM

give it a cigar

ucla695 · 05-01-2009, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonjing

give it a cigar

That's why he was staring at me!! He wants to partake of the forbidden leaf.. I'm going to reach into the Stinky and duct tape a nub to him. Better yet, I think he wants a Chico. Do I have to light it for him?

He still haunts me.

taltos · 05-02-2009, 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ucla695

That's why he was staring at me!! He wants to partake of the forbidden leaf.. I'm going to reach into the Stinky and duct tape a nub to him. Better yet, I think he wants a Chico. Do I have to light it for him?

He still haunts me.

Gnomes only smoke Cremosas. This is why they are so mean and dangerous.

gnukfu · 05-02-2009, 05:56 AM

Lisa, my wife, has decided she likes gnomes. I have gnomes all over the yard, a gnome bench arrived yesterday, but I do love my Red Sox gnome!....reminds me of Dustin Pedroia!

05-02-2009, 12:21 AM

Lop a hole into the back of his head and use him discreetly for a backup Stinky.

Emjaysmash · 05-02-2009, 12:46 AM

I think he's trying to bewitch you. Take this Punch Cutter of Anti-Bewitchment. It gives you a +3 modifier to your save vs. spell!

Thaplumbr · 05-02-2009, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emjaysmash

I think he's trying to bewitch you. Take this Punch Cutter of Anti-Bewitchment. It gives you a +3 modifier to your save vs. spell!

Man,I just had a flashback to junior high

ucla695 · 05-02-2009, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunng

There goes that idea. I'm a parrothead so I'll have to use parrots and make sure they're perched somewhere high where the gnomes can't get to them. Tiki Bar perhaps.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kzm007

Lop a hole into the back of his head and use him discreetly for a backup Stinky.

Ooh, I like this idea. Tons of possibilities there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emjaysmash

I think he's trying to bewitch you. Take this Punch Cutter of Anti-Bewitchment. It gives you a +3 modifier to your save vs. spell!

Quote:

Originally Posted by taltos

Gnomes only smoke Cremosas. This is why they are so mean and dangerous.

Man, I guess I'm going to have to post a WTB Cremosas thread.

CBI_2 · 05-02-2009, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emjaysmash

I think he's trying to bewitch you. Take this Punch Cutter of Anti-Bewitchment. It gives you a +3 modifier to your save vs. spell!

05-01-2009, 09:47 PM	#1
ucla695 Neither here, nor there Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: The Pool Posts: 3,696 Trading: (5)	Let's talk about gnomes... Every time my wife sees a Travelocity commercial she talks about how cute the gnome is. Ok, I was luke warm on the idea...decent marketing tool...helps you get into the pitch...whatever. That was UNTIL one showed up in the back today. WTF? That little guy stared at me all evening as I enjoyed a couple of cigars while grilling some corn, sausages and porterhouse steaks. I even put a little pair of sunglasses on the dude so I couldn't tell he was giving me the stare down. It didn't help. Straight up disturbing!! That's all I have to say. Anyone else have a problem with them? If you do, keep it down so he doesn't hear.

05-01-2009, 09:49 PM	#2
leasingthisspace Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Let's talk about gnomes... They are freaking creepy. I feel for you.

05-01-2009, 09:52 PM	#3
HK3- Cashmere Jungle Lord Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Boffa Location: The town so nice they named it twice Posts: 5,035 Trading: (48)	Re: Let's talk about gnomes... Get some pink flamingos to hang out with him. When she complains about them, you have made your point.

05-01-2009, 09:55 PM	#4
Texan in Mexico Feeling at Home Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Travis Location: Puerto Morelos, Mexico Posts: 958 Trading: (0)	Re: Let's talk about gnomes... The Gnomes can be very powerful beings. In my one of the most comprehensive economic books written, The Money Game, they talk about the power the Swiss Gnomes have. You see they control the gold bullion in Switzerland thereby controlling many of the world's currencies and possibly affecting national elections and public policy in most of the Western world. So in other worlds, treat him with respect and ask him if he has any family in Switzerland.

05-01-2009, 10:03 PM	#5
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,625 Trading: (47)	Re: Let's talk about gnomes... Be careful that it isn't a gnome with swine flu. You can never be too careful. __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

05-01-2009, 10:04 PM	#7
M1903A1 Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 1060 W. Addison Posts: 1,573 Trading: (4)	Re: Let's talk about gnomes... Turn it to face your least favorite neighbors. Let THEM freak out over being stared down! __________________ "It's the cigars that bring us together, but it's the people that cause us to stay."

05-01-2009, 10:10 PM	#8
HK3- Cashmere Jungle Lord Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Boffa Location: The town so nice they named it twice Posts: 5,035 Trading: (48)	Re: Let's talk about gnomes... Does it have an upside down triangle on it's head?

05-01-2009, 10:16 PM	#9
MedicCook Mila smoked my cigar Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Ryan Location: Schaghticoke, NY Posts: 10,946 Trading: (7)	Re: Let's talk about gnomes... Get one of those wooden owl's for it to play with. __________________ 27 World Series Championship's "If your wife doesn't like the aroma of your cigar, change your wife.", Zino Davidoff

05-01-2009, 10:20 PM	#10
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Re: Let's talk about gnomes... Garden Gnomes have been plotting world domination for many years. I have chronicled my war with the Gnomes on alt.smokers.pipes. MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?

05-01-2009, 10:20 PM	#12
bonjing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 4,012 Trading: (39)	Re: Let's talk about gnomes... give it a cigar

05-02-2009, 05:56 AM	#15
gnukfu I like cigars Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: George Location: Massholia Posts: 1,466 Trading: (27)	Re: Let's talk about gnomes... Lisa, my wife, has decided she likes gnomes. I have gnomes all over the yard, a gnome bench arrived yesterday, but I do love my Red Sox gnome!....reminds me of Dustin Pedroia! __________________ Curious George

05-02-2009, 12:21 AM	#16
kzm007 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Let's talk about gnomes... Lop a hole into the back of his head and use him discreetly for a backup Stinky.

05-02-2009, 12:46 AM	#17
Emjaysmash The Hebrew Hammer Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: M.J. Location: Milwaukee, WI Posts: 7,025 Trading: (76)	Re: Let's talk about gnomes... I think he's trying to bewitch you. Take this Punch Cutter of Anti-Bewitchment. It gives you a +3 modifier to your save vs. spell! __________________