Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-01-2008, 02:56 PM   #1
CBI_2
Have My Own Room
 
CBI_2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Paul
Location: In my skin.
Posts: 2,066
Trading: (0)
CBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the rough
Default Heaven or Hell?

While walking down the street one day a US senator is
tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the
entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter.
'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.
We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says the senator.

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher
up. What we'll do is have you spend one day
in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to
spend eternity.'

'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in
heaven,' says the senator.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and
he goes down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a
green golf course. In the distance
is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his
friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run
to greet him, shake his hand,
and reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on
lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very
friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling
jokes.
They are having such a good time that before he realizes
it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the
elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on
heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.'

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of
contented souls moving from cloud to cloud,
playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and,
before he realizes it, the 24 hours have
gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and
another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'

The senator reflects for a minute, then answers:
'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven
has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in
hell.'

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the
middle of a barren land covered
with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the
trash and putting it in black bags
as more trash falls from above...

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his
shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the
senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf
course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar,
drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now
there's just a wasteland full of garbage and
my friends look miserable. What happened?'

The devil looks at him, smiles and says.......

'Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.'
__________________
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff
CBI_2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2008, 06:29 PM   #2
G G
BR549
 
G G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: Taylor, FL.
Posts: 12,723
Trading: (10)
Bolivar
G G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant future
Default Re: Heaven or Hell?

oldie but goodie, funny.
G G is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2008, 10:03 PM   #3
groogs
Have My Own Room
 
groogs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Grant
Posts: 1,945
Trading: (62)
Trinidad
groogs will become famous soon enoughgroogs will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Heaven or Hell?

That is great, and sadly true.
groogs is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:04 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.