I need some serious motivation.....

[Dave128]

Hi. My name is Dave and I'm morbidly obese. I'm a generally happy guy with a great wife. I have a great job. I live in a nice house in a great neighborhood. I have a family and friends that don't judge me. I wear a size 3x shirt that can sometimes feel snug. I can't shop at normal stores because most of them only have sizes that go up to 1x or 2x. I'm really sick of walking past people that I don't know and they stare at me for the huge beast that I am. It is really starting to bother me.

The scoop:

I weigh 295 lbs. (I know, holy crap! ) and I'm a diabetic because of it. If I lose weight, the docs say that I have a great chance of getting rid of the diabetis. I have a basement room that currently houses a BowFlex, an eliptical, a treadmill and a bike. The room has a window for light, a fan, a tv and a radio.

I admit that I have a huge weight problem that I need to address before it kills me. The problem is that I have no motivation to use the equipment. I have zero excuses for not going down into the basement for a nice workout every day. I was working out every day until about a year or so ago and I just stopped. I really don't know why. Especially since I was seeing some nice results. I got myself down to about 270 and I felt great. I am in no way considering any type of surgery at this time.

Anybody have any advice on how to get me re-motivated?

[jledou]

Make yourself a no work no play deal ... you don't workout, you can't have a cigar ... Want a cigar? Better go get some time in.

You can also try setting a time and "appointment" on your phone.

I am by no means a little guys and struggle with keeping myself committed to going down to the basement where my treadmill and elliptical are, so best of luck Dave.

[ArgusP2]

Dave, to let you know, I was tipping the scales at 395lbs before I told myself enough is enough! After 3 years, I am still tipping the scale but it is not screaming as loud (currently just below where you are at - 285lbs).
The main thing is making the decision to lose weight. All the "You must lose weight or die" from doctors, family and friends do not mean anything until YOU decide you want to lose weight. Once that decision is made one thing to remember: you did not put on all that weight overnight so do not think you will get rid of it overnight.

PM sent

[Dave128]

Originally Posted by ArgusP2

Dave, to let you know, I was tipping the scales at 395lbs before I told myself enough is enough! After 3 years, I am still tipping the scale but it is not screaming as loud (currently just below where you are at - 285lbs).
The main thing is making the decision to lose weight. All the "You must lose weight or die" from doctors, family and friends do not mean anything until YOU decide you want to lose weight. Once that decision is made one thing to remember: you did not put on all that weight overnight so do not think you will get rid of it overnight.

PM sent

Thank you.

[icehog3]

I would advise you to try to find time to work out outside the home...at least 40 minutes 3-4 times a week to start. Too many distractions at home to stay focused long term, Dave. I know it is tough when you have family obligations, etc, but you want to be around for a long time. I wish you the best, and will help if I can.

[Dave128]

Originally Posted by icehog3

I would advise you to try to find time to work out outside the home...at least 40 minutes 3-4 times a week to start. Too many distractions at home to stay focused long term, Dave. I know it is tough when you have family obligations, etc, but you want to be around for a long time. I wish you the best, and will help if I can.

Thank you.

[MajorCaptSilly]

It's hard for me to engage in exercise just for the sake of exercising. I love to do sporting activities like basketball but getting on a treadmill/bike is hard for me. I started getting to where I didn't recognize my fat face in pictures, so i started forcing myself to hit the treadmill this winter. I've been slowly but steadily losing weight since I started exercise. I have also been counting calories fairly religiously.

I think Tom is right about getting out of the house to exercise. It gets you more motivated when others around you are doing the same thing. I'm lucky in that my wife is very active and we walk 3 miles every nice day we can and do longer hikes at the state park. We are also doing some medicine ball exercises that really help with the abs.

You have to really want to lose the weight. I'm not a big fan of killing yourself for quick weight loss. Change some eating habits and get active. You would be surprised at the results you will get just going from sedentary to walking 30 min a day. I like to try to drop 1lb per week and have hit that goal on most weeks. The feeling you get from living a more healty lifestyle is totally worth your effort.


MCS

[emopunker2004]

Have you tried to just start walking around the neighborhood to start with? I find that I enjoy walking outside more than I do on a treadmill because its a change of scenery, I tend to enjoy it more. I know it isn't much but any exercise is good exercise and it's a start. I'm not in the same boat as you but I do need to lose weight as well. I'd like to lose 40lbs. I just recently started doing the 14 flights of stairs at work a couple times a day on a daily basis. I find it hard to motivate myself to exercise but I find out that when I do, i feel much better after.

[Dave128]

Thanks, guys. All of the advice has been great. Bottom line is that it has to be me that wants to change.

[hotreds]

I know how you feel! I'm trying to loose also- I've gone from a high of about 350 to 310 now. Not a lot in a year, and I need to do more more quickly, but a journey begins with one step. I wish you all the luck in the world, PM me anytime and I will help you in any way I can!

[Coach Deg]

Dave, Like you have said it is up to you!!!! I was 274 in Nov. I kept telling my wonderful wife who could not care what I weigh, that I have to do something. I started watching what I eat a little better. Then I walked my 2yr old to the playground about 1/4 mile from house( I always drove). And I was like this is great. We started going everyday. Then I started taking the long way and added other exercise because I was feeling better. I am now 234. And everyday I don't feel like doing anything, I get outside. Like Tom and Justin said get out. Its more enjoyable and its eaiser to eat or get distracted at home.

Good-Luck and we are all here for you!

[kaisersozei]

A big help for me has always been goal-setting.

"I want to lose x pounds"
"I want to do y pushups"
"I will workout 5 days this week"
"I need my a1c to be under 9"
"I will eat 3 servings of vegetables per day"
"I will go 2 weeks without alcohol"

Set moderate, achievable goals to start. Mark your progress. Feel good about the small achievements.

Hold yourself accountable by doing what some other BOTLs here have done--post a thread to chart your progress. We'll keep you motivated and hold you accountable too!

Take a picture of yourself in your underwear. Workout for 30 days and then take another picture. Compare the results. Keep going!

Make working out a routine.

Good luck!

[OLS]

Also remember, if you do this right, you are going to be hungry for a year or more. It's not going to be fun.
And at the end, you will likely want to 'reward' yourself with food again. Be careful. That's how people go
right back to where they were and more. One thing you have that some don't, an asylum of friends that you
can talk to.

[OLS]

I can tell you one thing I know...workout equipment is fine, but there is no substitute for reduction of calories.
You can try BURNING them all you want, but it's the ones that go IN that are keeping you fat. You must
switch to water ONLY, no sports drinks, no sweet tea, no soft drinks, milk as a reward. You must eat the worst
possible foods, and only keep that stuff on hand. If you can't GIVE your fridge contents away, THROW it away.
Stop eating bread, stop eating much meat. Eat homemade soup for a treat, cereal for breakfast, a bowl of grits
for lunch, oatmeal and some fruit or fish for supper, salads with oil and vinegar dressing only. Mix in some herbs
and garlic for flavor.

People complain all the time about being fat and wanting to NOT be fat. But they keep right on doing the things
they always did, as if finally wanting to be thin is gonna miracle the weight off them. The Biggest Loser is not
popular because it's fun to look at fat people. It's popular because it's amazing to see the kind of commitment
it takes to get thin.

I am struggling for the first time with real weight on my frame. I have never been thin or even fit-looking. But
for the first time ever, laying off something here and something there ain't getting it. I am struggling. These
are the things I learned, but will power is the only way to succeed. In order to quit smoking cigs, which
were killing me, I had to give up three other things...weed, bars and sex. I can have sex again if I want, but I am
too fat for anyone to care. But that shows how you can turn over one rock and just find three more rocks.

Make no mistake, that workout gear is important. It lets you work out without people watching. But you can
work out 24 hours a day and not lose weight, just die. Sit ups are not going to make your belly thin. There will
be a time when they are important, but for now you are in a walk, don't run mode. There was a big fat dude and
a big fat kid "running" down my sidewalk the other day. They stopped and talked to me, and told me they had
decided that being fat just was unacceptable, so they were going to run. I told them, "No, you are just going to
blow both your knees. You have to walk for a year before you start running, you are obese." You aren't going to
be thin tomorrow. You are going to be doing this for years. I was going for a job interview while I was visiting my
mother, and she said that my teeth were dingy, that I should go and get some whitening strips while I was visiting
her. I went into the store and saw they were 50 bucks. I wasn't going to spend that kind of money as funds for
my trip were not limitless. I told her that the stuff doesn't work overnight, why buy it for tomorrow??

The muscles you need to work on now are your brain and your jaw muscles. Start working one and resting the others.
Good luck, I need it too. -- OOPS -- one more thing about the walking. I walk between 1 and 5 miles a day now.
Throughout my life after I got a car at 21, I had been a biker, pedalled everywhere, sometimes 50-60 miles a week.
I had to, I had no car. I could carry 2 PAPER bags of groceries up & down 3-4 hills with no hands (2-3 miles) and STOP
at the house with no hands and not wipe out. Then I got a car and I never looked back. I went from sexy-love-
machine to fat slob. I enjoy walking. There are a few hot girls out, nature is bad-a55, I feel of accomplishment,
and it actually makes you want to do it. You will see. You will not dread walking. IT IS the key to the whole plan.

[Col. Kurtz]

Originally Posted by OLS

I can tell you one thing I know...workout equipment is fine, but there is no substitute for reduction of calories.
You can try BURNING them all you want, but it's the ones that go IN that are keeping you fat. You must
switch to water ONLY, no sports drinks, no sweet tea, no soft drinks, milk as a reward. You must eat the worst
possible foods, and only keep that stuff on hand. If you can't GIVE your fridge contents away, THROW it away.
Stop eating bread, stop eating much meat. Eat homemade soup for a treat, cereal for breakfast, a bowl of grits
for lunch, oatmeal and some fruit or fish for supper, salads with oil and vinegar dressing only. Mix in some herbs
and garlic for flavor.

People complain all the time about being fat and wanting to NOT be fat. But they keep right on doing the things
they always did, as if finally wanting to be thin is gonna miracle the weight off them. The Biggest Loser is not
popular because it's fun to look at fat people. It's popular because it's amazing to see the kind of commitment
it takes to get thin.

I am struggling for the first time with real weight on my frame. I have never been thin or even fit-looking. But
for the first time ever, laying off something here and something there ain't getting it. I am struggling. These
are the things I learned, but will power is the only way to succeed. In order to quit smoking cigs, which
were killing me, I had to give up three other things...weed, bars and sex. I can have sex again if I want, but I am
too fat for anyone to care. But that shows how you can turn over one rock and just find three more rocks.

Make no mistake, that workout gear is important. It lets you work out without people watching. But you can
work out 24 hours a day and not lose weight, just die. Sit ups are not going to make your belly thin. There will
be a time when they are important, but for now you are in a walk, don't run mode. There was a big fat dude and
a big fat kid "running" down my sidewalk the other day. They stopped and talked to me, and told me they had
decided that being fat just was unacceptable, so they were going to run. I told them, "No, you are just going to
blow both your knees. You have to walk for a year before you start running, you are obese." You aren't going to
be thin tomorrow. You are going to be doing this for years. I was going for a job interview while I was visiting my
mother, and she said that my teeth were dingy, that I should go and get some whitening strips while I was visiting
her. I went into the store and saw they were 50 bucks. I wasn't going to spend that kind of money as funds for
my trip were not limitless. I told her that the stuff doesn't work overnight, why buy it for tomorrow??

The muscles you need to work on now are your brain and your jaw muscles. Start working one and resting the others.
Good luck, I need it too. -- OOPS -- one more thing about the walking. I walk between 1 and 5 miles a day now.
Throughout my life after I got a car at 21, I had been a biker, pedalled everywhere, sometimes 50-60 miles a week.
I had to, I had no car. I could carry 2 PAPER bags of groceries up & down 3-4 hills with no hands (2-3 miles) and STOP
at the house with no hands and not wipe out. Then I got a car and I never looked back. I went from sexy-love-
machine to fat slob. I enjoy walking. There are a few hot girls out, nature is bad-a55, I feel of accomplishment,
and it actually makes you want to do it. You will see. You will not dread walking. IT IS the key to the whole plan.

Lots of cold hard, sterile, metallic, win no friends truth here ^.

I changed my habits about 1.5 years ago.

Dropped sweet sodas (still have a diet once in a while), started packing my lunch everyday instead of swinging by the dollar menu drive thru, and started watching calories very closely. It's amazing what foods "cost". The wife and I have tried very hard to control portions and consider if it's really "worth it" to have that doughnut. Would a snack pack of raisins be better? We eat quite a bit of fresh foods and veggies. Gave up beer almost completely (that hurt). Reduced meats a lot and tried to stay close to a 2-2500 calorie diet.

No real secrets except keeping a close eye on a dietary budget. Started a self prescribed workout routine that is mostly cardio (like they taught me back in middle school gym) 2- 3 times per week. Started push mowing the front acre that the neighbors can see, still ride the back though.

The result? Near 235 Thankgiving 2010. Now I'm at 155 depending on the day. I started feeling much much better about 180. Dropped from pushing out 38 pants to being comfortable in 32's. Very good feeling except for the new clothes bills.

Bottom line is this. There is no magic bullet. Eat less than you use and you will lose weight.

Here's a kick in the pants and positive thoughts and encouragement sent your way. It can be done. Is it easy? Nope. Is it worth it. Absolutely. I have the energy to chase the kids around the yard without passing out.

[Remo]

Originally Posted by OLS

I can tell you one thing I know...workout equipment is fine, but there is no substitute for reduction of calories.
You can try BURNING them all you want, but it's the ones that go IN that are keeping you fat. You must
switch to water ONLY, no sports drinks, no sweet tea, no soft drinks, milk as a reward. You must eat the worst
possible foods, and only keep that stuff on hand. If you can't GIVE your fridge contents away, THROW it away.
Stop eating bread, stop eating much meat. Eat homemade soup for a treat, cereal for breakfast, a bowl of grits
for lunch, oatmeal and some fruit or fish for supper, salads with oil and vinegar dressing only. Mix in some herbs
and garlic for flavor.

People complain all the time about being fat and wanting to NOT be fat. But they keep right on doing the things
they always did, as if finally wanting to be thin is gonna miracle the weight off them. The Biggest Loser is not
popular because it's fun to look at fat people. It's popular because it's amazing to see the kind of commitment
it takes to get thin.

I am struggling for the first time with real weight on my frame. I have never been thin or even fit-looking. But
for the first time ever, laying off something here and something there ain't getting it. I am struggling. These
are the things I learned, but will power is the only way to succeed. In order to quit smoking cigs, which
were killing me, I had to give up three other things...weed, bars and sex. I can have sex again if I want, but I am
too fat for anyone to care. But that shows how you can turn over one rock and just find three more rocks.

Make no mistake, that workout gear is important. It lets you work out without people watching. But you can
work out 24 hours a day and not lose weight, just die. Sit ups are not going to make your belly thin. There will
be a time when they are important, but for now you are in a walk, don't run mode. There was a big fat dude and
a big fat kid "running" down my sidewalk the other day. They stopped and talked to me, and told me they had
decided that being fat just was unacceptable, so they were going to run. I told them, "No, you are just going to
blow both your knees. You have to walk for a year before you start running, you are obese." You aren't going to
be thin tomorrow. You are going to be doing this for years. I was going for a job interview while I was visiting my
mother, and she said that my teeth were dingy, that I should go and get some whitening strips while I was visiting
her. I went into the store and saw they were 50 bucks. I wasn't going to spend that kind of money as funds for
my trip were not limitless. I told her that the stuff doesn't work overnight, why buy it for tomorrow??

The muscles you need to work on now are your brain and your jaw muscles. Start working one and resting the others.
Good luck, I need it too. -- OOPS -- one more thing about the walking. I walk between 1 and 5 miles a day now.
Throughout my life after I got a car at 21, I had been a biker, pedalled everywhere, sometimes 50-60 miles a week.
I had to, I had no car. I could carry 2 PAPER bags of groceries up & down 3-4 hills with no hands (2-3 miles) and STOP
at the house with no hands and not wipe out. Then I got a car and I never looked back. I went from sexy-love-
machine to fat slob. I enjoy walking. There are a few hot girls out, nature is bad-a55, I feel of accomplishment,
and it actually makes you want to do it. You will see. You will not dread walking. IT IS the key to the whole plan.

This is great advice Dave, limit your caloric intake (diet, if you will) smaller portions and less calories, it is really gonna suck for a week or two but your body will adjust. Once some weight starts to come off then start with some working out to really boost your metabolism and then pounds will really start to come off.

The real motivation is when your clothes start fitting a little looser and you look better in the mirror, then you start to feel better about yourself and it motivates you to keep going. Biggest thing for me was cutting out the beer and late night meals, I work odd hours so I was eating late at night and would have a few beers before bed...no more of that, I eat earlier and work out before bed...I have lost 20 lbs. since the first of the year, started at 230 lbs and trying to get back to 200 by June. Good luck on your quest

[BigCat]

There is a lot of good advice here about what to do once you get motivated but that isn't what you asked for. As far as that goes, you have a nice life with a great wife and friends. It is going to end too early if you don't get a grip on your health. Look around. You dont see a lot of morbidly obese old people. Your diabetes is going to make your life more difficult as you get older. You could be a foot infection away from losing a limb due to circulation/slow healing issues. If you can rid yourself of diabetes by losing weight, you need to do it. I hope I don't come off like a prick. I had my own come to Jesus moment about 6 months ago when I saw how fat I looked in some pictures and stepped on the scale. Ive lost 35 pounds since then with diet and exercise and I feel dramatically better. 15 more to go and I'm looking forward to it. Good luck to you.

[Whee]

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/

This i the site I use to help. Lots of good info and I use it as a food diary, exercise diary and weight loss tracker. And us te app for my Droid.

Keeping a food journal was a big help for me. I was taking in 4000 to 5000 calories on average daily with little to no exercise. I am now down to between 1500 and 2000 calories a day and I exercise about an hour a day, 5 or 6 days a week.

Dropped 25 pounds by shifting to eating serving sizes, and exercising an hour or so a day. I started with a 20 minute walk around the block.

I also enlisted the help of three "motivators" here on the asylum. I sent them a weekly update for about three months with all the good and the bad. Sometimes a "Good Job" is all you need.

I still fall off the wagon now and then, but feel better than ever.

Good Luck!!

[OLS]

Originally Posted by BigCat

Look around. You dont see a lot of morbidly obese old people. .

Never thought about it like that. Dang.

Cat is right in that it's all up to you. That sounds like a cliche', but the expression "quitting smoking is easy,
I've done it a hundred times" is so very true. My family asked me, begged me to stop. We all saw my dad
die of cancer after smoking most of his adult life. To them, that was all the motivation I should ever need.
But until I was wheezing going up stairs, and couldn't catch my breath at all when I was sick with the flu or
whatever, I never realized that emphysema was finally here. I had been arranging a date with it my whole life,
but finally the car had been brought around.

For once, it was MY IDEA. Giving up a nice bong hit now and again was TOUGH, but no sooner did I put down
the bong, I wanted a cigarette. So that had to go too. So again, Cat is telling the truth. It begins when you
finally realize your mortality and you give a crap about it to the degree where no sacrifice is too big for your
well being.

As far as your original question that Cat pointed out rightly no one really answered, you need the
fullest size mirror you can buy, several really, and put them where you can't avoid seeing yourself. My bathroom
mirror, the only mirror in the house, only shows my head, barely my shoulders. When I was dressing after a shower
in a motel last year, I almost barfed. What you see straight on is nothing like what you see when you look down,
and it affects the brain. You need to see your full self, floor to ceiling, head to toe. That can be a good motivator.

[maninblack]

I think what got me motivated was seeing my dad go thru his triple bypass last August. He was only around 250 but he never really ate healthy. He's down to 230 now and so am I. I lost 15 pounds and wanna lose more. I don't want my kids seeing me go thru what I saw my old man go thru. I wanna be around for them when I'm older. Best of luck Dave and we're here for you brother. I got an elliptical machine that has worked wonders.