Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-28-2009, 09:34 PM   #1
MajorCaptSilly
Sklee
 
MajorCaptSilly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Scott
Location: Mishawaka, IN
Posts: 2,523
Trading: (30)
Bolivar
MajorCaptSilly has disabled reputation
Default Wife having an affair

A man come home to work early and finds his wife in bed with another man:

Husband: What are you doing?
Wife: I've been having an affair with Joe for 2 years.
Husband: That's not very nice.
Wife: Why did you come home early?
Husband: I'm not feeling well. I think I'm getting the flu.
Wife: Why don't you go downstairs and I'll fix you some hot soup.
Husband: That sounds good. Do we have enough for Joe?
Joe: I just ate a sandwich.
Wife: You should have room for soup. It's vegetable!
Husband: Just make enough for all of us. I'll eat Joe's if he's still not hungry.
Wife: The dog is due for his rabies shot.
Joe: Where did you put my pants?


MCS
__________________
Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?
MajorCaptSilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2009, 09:55 PM   #2
SmokeyJoe
Chief Wannastogie Lounge
 
SmokeyJoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Joe
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 3,160
Trading: (28)
VR
SmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud of
Default Re: Wife having an affair



Oh... and any word on my pants?
__________________
"I intend to smoke a good cigar to the glory of God..." ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, British Baptist preacher
SmokeyJoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2009, 09:56 PM   #3
joetownhound
EYH Survivor
 
joetownhound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Dennis
Location: Tampa FL
Posts: 380
Trading: (18)
Montecristo Navy (Disabled Vet)
joetownhound will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Wife having an affair

__________________
"The tree of freedom must be nurtured from time to time with the blood of its patriots" -Thomas Jefferson
joetownhound is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2009, 10:00 PM   #4
Skywalker
BABOTL
 
Skywalker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Dice
Location: Galaxy Far Far Away
Posts: 10,168
Trading: (18)
Partagas
Skywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud of
Default Re: Wife having an affair

This is the Jokes area!!!
__________________

Smoke what you like!!!
Skywalker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 01:09 AM   #5
smokeyandthebandit05
Feeling at Home
 
smokeyandthebandit05's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Rich
Location: Branchville
Posts: 758
Trading: (1)
smokeyandthebandit05 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Wife having an affair

huh?
__________________
MIAMI CANES 9-4
NJ DEVILS 37-21-3
smokeyandthebandit05 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 09:01 AM   #6
BarneyBandMan
Owner - Club Deck
 
BarneyBandMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: On the Deck
Posts: 126
Trading: (1)
Partagas
BarneyBandMan will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Wife having an affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokeyJoe View Post


Oh... and any word on my pants?
Yeah, I think it reads "SASSY"

Ha ha--no soup for you
__________________
"The only true currency in this bankrupt world... is what you share with someone else when you're uncool."
BarneyBandMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 01:18 AM   #7
MrOneEyedBoh
Hon.
 
MrOneEyedBoh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 953
Trading: (30)
MrOneEyedBoh will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Wife having an affair

Ehhh... Did I miss something in the said joke?
MrOneEyedBoh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 01:30 AM   #8
kzm007
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Wife having an affair

I'm thinking the punchline is that fact that there is a lack of a punchline.
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 06:57 AM   #9
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Wife having an affair

Got me scratching my head too!!
__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 07:04 AM   #10
MajorCaptSilly
Sklee
 
MajorCaptSilly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Scott
Location: Mishawaka, IN
Posts: 2,523
Trading: (30)
Bolivar
MajorCaptSilly has disabled reputation
Default Re: Wife having an affair

I know! This is like the greatest joke ever!


MCS
__________________
Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?
MajorCaptSilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 08:36 AM   #11
ade06
Have My Own Room
 
ade06's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Ade
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 1,190
Trading: (24)
Trinidad
ade06 will become famous soon enoughade06 will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Wife having an affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly View Post
I know! This is like the greatest joke ever!


MCS
If you say so...
ade06 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 08:46 AM   #12
14holestogie
Serial banter killer
 
14holestogie's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tim
Location: Clintonville, WI
Posts: 4,341
Trading: (52)
Partagas
14holestogie is a splendid one to behold14holestogie is a splendid one to behold14holestogie is a splendid one to behold14holestogie is a splendid one to behold14holestogie is a splendid one to behold14holestogie is a splendid one to behold14holestogie is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Wife having an affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly View Post
I know! This is like the greatest joke ever!


MCS
__________________
I loves me a Parti
14holestogie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 08:30 AM   #13
Col. Kurtz
Have My Own Room
 
Col. Kurtz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Jerry
Location: South Appleton
Posts: 1,839
Trading: (26)
RA
Col. Kurtz has a spectacular aura aboutCol. Kurtz has a spectacular aura aboutCol. Kurtz has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Wife having an affair

Remember: Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work do.
__________________
Artillery Lends Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be a Vulgar Brawl
Col. Kurtz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 08:42 AM   #14
dogface_313
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Wife having an affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by Col. Kurtz View Post
Remember: Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work do.
I'm still waiting for the day where a gun does anything violent. I have been watching mine for a while, and all they do is just sit there. They are so lazy, they actually make me operate them!

Guns kill people just like, computers hack, and spoons make people fat.
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 08:44 AM   #15
TheTraveler
giggity giggitty
 
TheTraveler's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Jonathan
Location: Near a Walmart
Posts: 1,813
Trading: (12)
MarineCorps (Served With Honor)
TheTraveler has a spectacular aura aboutTheTraveler has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Wife having an affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by dogface_313 View Post
Guns kill people just like, computers hack, and spoons make people fat.
My spoon will make me skinny ... it ran away with the dish.
__________________
"My life is my own."
TheTraveler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 09:07 AM   #16
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,284
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: Wife having an affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly View Post
Joe: Where did you put my pants?


MCS
Wife: I used them to make the soup.
__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 09:22 AM   #17
themoneycollector
Nicotiana Tabacum
 
themoneycollector's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Hill AFB, UT
Posts: 1,258
Trading: (108)
Bolivar
themoneycollector has disabled reputation
Default Re: Wife having an affair

A head scratcher, but the comments have been funny
themoneycollector is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 09:49 AM   #18
MajorCaptSilly
Sklee
 
MajorCaptSilly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Scott
Location: Mishawaka, IN
Posts: 2,523
Trading: (30)
Bolivar
MajorCaptSilly has disabled reputation
Default Re: Wife having an affair



MCS
__________________
Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?
MajorCaptSilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 10:32 AM   #19
Texan in Mexico
Feeling at Home
 
Texan in Mexico's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Travis
Location: Puerto Morelos, Mexico
Posts: 958
Trading: (0)
LGC
Texan in Mexico has disabled reputation
Default Re: Wife having an affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 View Post
Wife: I used them to make the soup.
Husband: I hope you wore Chinos, I can't stand corduroy soup!
Texan in Mexico is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 11:49 AM   #20
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,284
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: Wife having an affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by Texan in Mexico View Post
Husband: I hope you wore Chinos, I can't stand corduroy soup!
Joe: They were actually Capri pants...and my name is really Josephine.
__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:19 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.