Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-31-2018, 04:34 PM   #1
tsolomon
Have My Own Room
 
tsolomon's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: The Villages, FL
Posts: 1,246
Trading: (31)
VR
tsolomon has a spectacular aura abouttsolomon has a spectacular aura abouttsolomon has a spectacular aura about
Default Irish Humour

Patrick staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Patrick sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Patrick woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

Patrick said, 'Why would you say such a mean thing?'

'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.'
tsolomon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-31-2018, 05:33 PM   #2
Porch Dweller
Life is for living
 
Porch Dweller's Avatar
11
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
First Name: James
Location: Mississippi Gulf Coast
Posts: 8,387
Trading: (24)
Bolivar AirForce (Retired)
Porch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Irish Humour

__________________
A 1911 in the hand is faster than 911 on the phone
Porch Dweller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2018, 10:52 AM   #3
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,274
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: Irish Humour

__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2018, 12:41 PM   #4
massphatness
Where's my buffaloooo ...
 
massphatness's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Vin
Location: MassHolia
Posts: 12,690
Trading: (206)
ERdM
massphatness has disabled reputation
Default Re: Irish Humour

Thought this was going to be a Whitey Bulger joke.

As an FYI, there will be a memorial service in Boston Saturday at 'dat place wit' dose guys who did 'dat thing dat we talked about 'duh udder day. Capisce? 'Nuff said.
__________________
Help Support The Navy SEAL Foundation: HERE
massphatness is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:11 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.