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Old 03-13-2009, 03:02 PM   #1
mrreindeer
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Default BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

Okay, so I'm old & married but I thought us senior citizens could lend a hand & help out the younger BOTL's with some of our best pick-up lines.

So I'll go first:

"Hey, there's a party in your shoes and your pants are invited to come on down!"

Look, it got me married & expecting a kid didn't it? Okay, not that one but you know, I'm full of 'em.
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:02 PM   #2
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

Me: Did it hurt?!?!?
Her: Huh?
Me: When you fell from heaven!


If I said you have an awesome body...would you hold it against me?

If we went alone to the woods and I made a move would you tell anyone?


Are your pants made of mirrors? I can see myself in them.

Does you face hurt? Cuz it's killing me! (not really a pickup line)


Me: You are mean!!!
Her: Why?
Me: I can already see you breaking my heart!
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:11 PM   #3
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

Me: It's a good thing Bao has a girlfriend.
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:13 PM   #4
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by massphatness View Post
Me: It's a good thing Bao has a girlfriend.
true!!! I'd still be a virgin like Mr. Reindeer..
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:18 PM   #5
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

From the AWESOME T.V. show "Millionaire Matchmaker"....something along the lines of:

Guy: "Hi, you know, not to brag or anything, but I've got a LOT of money. Do you like to go shopping? Because I like to pamper a woman and take her shopping and give her the enjoyment that I receive being in her company. And some guys really mind if it seems you're after their money. I don't. You don't have to do anything like cooking or cleaning, you can just spend my money. And I have a lot of it."

Girl: "But I like to cook and clean."

Guy: "Oh, well, you don't have to, is all I'm saying."

Ok, now youngins...I'm not suggesting you use this line. No, definitely don't use this line.
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:19 PM   #6
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

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Originally Posted by Mugen910 View Post
true!!! I'd still be a virgin like Mr. Reindeer..


Okay, it's true. And Mean D is the father of our child, I guess.
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:21 PM   #7
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

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Originally Posted by mrreindeer View Post


Okay, it's true. And Mean D is the father of our child, I guess.
that poor poor child...didn't even have a chance at a good looks then..




You must be a speeding ticket...because you got FINE written all over you!!
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:13 PM   #8
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

If you were a screen door, I would slam you all night long!

You must be a General, cause you're making my privates stand at attention!
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:35 PM   #9
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

I was always partial to Butthead's pick up line.

"Hey baby! I got a beer!"
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:41 PM   #10
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

This one always cracked me up.

Wanna come back to my house and do some Maths? You can add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we'll multiply.
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:47 PM   #11
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really we'll, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:50 PM   #12
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

...
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Old 03-13-2009, 08:31 PM   #13
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by Commander Quan View Post
Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really we'll, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
Dang! Supposed to be trying to pick her up not put her to sleep.

My wife says with all of these lines in this thread, it's a wonder anyone ever got any.

You may like: "The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name."
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Old 03-13-2009, 04:19 PM   #14
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

some good ones
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Old 03-13-2009, 04:34 PM   #15
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

Using your index finger to call her over say; I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

and in honor of the up coming holiday - I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
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Old 03-13-2009, 04:58 PM   #16
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

- Your Dad must be a farmer..cause you have some great melons!
-Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
-I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
-If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
-Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
- Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
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Old 03-13-2009, 09:19 PM   #17
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by WildBlueSooner View Post
- Your Dad must be a farmer..cause you have some great melons!
-Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
-I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
-If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
-Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
- Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
That's sweet! I'm still laughing my ass off!
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Old 03-13-2009, 05:16 PM   #18
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

Hey you're taller than I am, wanna ****?

That worked for me once. Seriously.
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Old 03-13-2009, 07:44 PM   #19
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

Do you work at subway??? because you just gave me a footlong!!!

i’m blind, can you hold my stick and show me where to go?

Do u work for Cingular? Cuz you’re raising my bar.
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Old 03-13-2009, 09:03 PM   #20
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Default Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever

Walk up to a woman, check the label of her shirt. "Ahah, just as I thought, MADE IN HEAVEN"!

Hey baby your ass looks like a keg, how bout you let me tap that!

GUY: *make sound like an ambulance
Girl: What is that noise?
GUY: It's the ambulance coming to pick me up because you took my breath away.

Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

And my all time favorite.
I only have 3 months to live..
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