The truth about economic spending

velvet jones · 02-05-2011, 05:39 PM

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka ..
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China ..
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala ...
* If you buy a foreign fuel efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan ..
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Domestic Beer, or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yardsale and drink beer all day!

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

hotreds · 02-05-2011, 05:41 PM

Starscream · 02-05-2011, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hotreds

Gotta love the username Velvet Jones (I'm an Eddie Murphy fan), but I think this thread won't last very long.

Skywalker · 02-05-2011, 11:00 PM

Eleven · 02-05-2011, 05:49 PM

If my wife has a tattoo does that count? She loves yard sales, doesn't drink so that means MORE for me, and more for her to spend at the yard sale!

Ratters · 02-05-2011, 05:57 PM

I'll probably be sending mine to Honduras and Nicaragua.

But the best thing to do is pay down your debts. Which is what most people did with the last stimulus. Or buy silver if you are out of debt, for when the massive inflation caused by all this "stimulus" and quantitative easing hits hard.

02-05-2011, 05:39 PM	#1
velvet jones Big Smooth Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Willoughby, Ohio Posts: 24 Trading: (3)	The truth about economic spending Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format: Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q.. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen of it. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .. * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China .. * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala ... * If you buy a foreign fuel efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .. * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .. * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. Instead, keep the money in America by: 1) Spending it at yard sales, or 2) Going to ball games, or 3) Spending it on prostitutes, or 4) Domestic Beer, or 5) Tattoos. (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.) Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yardsale and drink beer all day! No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help. __________________ Dennis

02-05-2011, 05:41 PM	#2
hotreds Ephesians 2:8 Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 5 miles past "Resume Speed" Posts: 11,662 Trading: (63)	Re: The truth about economic spending __________________ God loves you so much, that he made you read this, just to let you know.

02-05-2011, 11:00 PM	#4
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: The truth about economic spending __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

02-05-2011, 05:49 PM	#5
Eleven Solid As The Sun Join Date: Aug 2009 First Name: Scott Location: SW Ohio Posts: 1,859 Trading: (23)	Re: The truth about economic spending If my wife has a tattoo does that count? She loves yard sales, doesn't drink so that means MORE for me, and more for her to spend at the yard sale! __________________ CA: putting the 'man' in bromance since 2008! --markem.

02-05-2011, 05:57 PM	#6
Ratters Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,848 Trading: (2)	Re: The truth about economic spending I'll probably be sending mine to Honduras and Nicaragua. But the best thing to do is pay down your debts. Which is what most people did with the last stimulus. Or buy silver if you are out of debt, for when the massive inflation caused by all this "stimulus" and quantitative easing hits hard.