|
|
![]() |
#1 |
Article 4 Free Inhabitant
![]() Join Date: Jan 2013
First Name: The Other Adam
Location: Satellite Beach
Posts: 14,787
Trading: (40)
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
I tell ya, sometimes young people can be so profoundly clever it hurts. A professor asked a question in a test:
Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? The student’s answer? Awesome: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct….. …leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’ |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2 |
Il megglior fabbro
|
![]()
Despite an absence of empirical data, that is still hellishly clever.
__________________
Ninety percent of everything is crap - Theodore Sturgeon. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#6 |
F*ck Cancer!
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#7 |
Admiral Douchebag
![]() |
![]()
Can you repeat the middle part again?
__________________
Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark! ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#8 |
Il megglior fabbro
|
![]()
Do you mean Purgatory, or Limbo?
__________________
Ninety percent of everything is crap - Theodore Sturgeon. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#9 |
Admiral Douchebag
![]() |
![]()
Oh, I'm way too stiff to limbo.
__________________
Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark! ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#10 |
Il megglior fabbro
|
![]()
Do some push-ups, Paco, it will go away.
__________________
Ninety percent of everything is crap - Theodore Sturgeon. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#11 |
Admiral Douchebag
![]() |
![]()
Who told you my middle name?
__________________
Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark! ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#12 |
Mřřse bites can be nasty
![]() |
![]()
Did he pass the test?
__________________
My neighbor came by my house this morning at 2AM, pounding on the door. Good thing I was still up playing the drums. ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#14 | |
Bunion
![]() |
![]() Quote:
![]()
__________________
I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx |
|
![]() |
![]() |