Puns 'R Us

[Steve]

~ A good pun is its own reword.

~ Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.

~ A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

~ A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

~ My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.

~ Dijon vu: The same mustard as before.

~ I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.

~ A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

~ Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

~ I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

~ I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

~ Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

~ Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

~ Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

~ Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

~ Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

~ A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

~ Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

~ Acupuncture is a jab well done.

[markem]

[icehog3]

[markem]

Originally Posted by icehog3

A new avatar for me?

[icehog3]

Originally Posted by markem

A new avatar for me?

If we wanna make people dizzy. I think we do.

[icehog3]

[G G]

[Steve]

part 2

~ Without geometry, life is pointless.

~ When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

~ Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

~ When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

~ A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

~ What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

~ In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

~ A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

~ Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

~ When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

~ The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

~ A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

~ A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

~ A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

~ A plateau is a high form of flattery.

~ The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

~ Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

~ When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

~ Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.