The Jewish QB

AdamJoshua · 08-21-2014, 01:46 PM

The Bear's coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears.

The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges
and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who
could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then, one night while watching Fox News he saw a war-zone scene in the West
Bank . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with
a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story
window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And
the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks
him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says. "You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the
greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring
fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are
gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers
were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your
sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,

"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago.

nutcracker · 08-21-2014, 01:58 PM

Steve · 08-21-2014, 02:13 PM

The Poet · 08-21-2014, 02:15 PM

And I figured the punchline would involve getting the quarter back.

dave · 08-21-2014, 02:16 PM

LOL!!! HA!!!

..."the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl".....LMAO

longknocker · 08-21-2014, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dave

LOL!!! HA!!!

..."the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl".....LMAO

I Remember When They Won All The Time. Back In "The Day".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_Bears

The Poet · 08-21-2014, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by longknocker

I Remember When They Won All The Time. Back In "The Day".

Yeah, but you and Mike Ditka are the only two who do . . . and I'm not so sure about Mike.

icehog3 · 08-21-2014, 02:43 PM

I heard it with a hockey twist years ago, Nik Lidstrom and Detroit. It was lots funnier than this version.

nutcracker · 08-21-2014, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

I heard it with a hockey twist years ago, Nik Lidstrom and Detroit. It was lots funnier than this version.

Only cause they're being mean about your great city.....

AdamJoshua · 08-21-2014, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

I heard it with a hockey twist years ago, Nik Lidstrom and Detroit. It was lots funnier than this version.

Please don't shoot!

Porch Dweller · 08-21-2014, 02:54 PM

icehog3 · 08-21-2014, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nutcracker

Only cause they're being mean about your great city.....

With a great hockey team. Remember what that was like?

jhedrick83 · 08-21-2014, 03:09 PM

Sad thing is Rex Grossman popped into my head when I started reading the joke and there is nothing funny about Rex Grossman.

This could be the year though (seriously), GO BEARS!

RUNYYFan · 08-21-2014, 03:52 PM

l

l

Very well-played.

Heavy_d · 08-21-2014, 07:35 PM

As a bears fan,

CigarNut · 08-21-2014, 09:49 PM

(for the joke and the banter

)

Ogre · 08-21-2014, 10:27 PM

08-21-2014, 01:46 PM	#1
AdamJoshua Article 4 Free Inhabitant Join Date: Jan 2013 First Name: The Other Adam Location: Satellite Beach Posts: 14,787 Trading: (40)	The Jewish QB The Bear's coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then, one night while watching Fox News he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM! He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY! Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE! "I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl. The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" "I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says. "You are not my son!" "I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans." "No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago.

08-21-2014, 01:58 PM	#2
nutcracker Shameless epicurian Join Date: Apr 2014 First Name: Neil Location: Winnipeg, Canada - Home of the Jets! Posts: 1,631 Trading: (26)	Re: The Jewish QB __________________ "Well I ain't often right but I've never been wrong.... Jerry Garcia (R.I.P.)

08-21-2014, 02:13 PM	#3
Steve Dad Jokester Supreme Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Steve Location: 17 R 435648 3354895 Posts: 7,715 Trading: (6)	Re: The Jewish QB __________________ ...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide

08-21-2014, 02:15 PM	#4
The Poet Il megglior fabbro Join Date: Jun 2009 First Name: Thomas Location: Hickory, NC Posts: 8,420 Trading: (2)	Re: The Jewish QB And I figured the punchline would involve getting the quarter back. __________________ Ninety percent of everything is crap - Theodore Sturgeon.

08-21-2014, 02:16 PM	#5
dave Have My Own Room Join Date: May 2011 First Name: Dave Location: Northern VA Posts: 1,180 Trading: (15)	Re: The Jewish QB LOL!!! HA!!! ..."the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl".....LMAO __________________ I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. Thomas Jefferson

08-21-2014, 02:43 PM	#8
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,494 Trading: (60)	Re: The Jewish QB I heard it with a hockey twist years ago, Nik Lidstrom and Detroit. It was lots funnier than this version. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

08-21-2014, 02:54 PM	#11
Porch Dweller Life is for living Join Date: Oct 2012 First Name: James Location: Mississippi Gulf Coast Posts: 8,488 Trading: (24)	Re: The Jewish QB __________________ A 1911 in the hand is faster than 911 on the phone

08-21-2014, 03:09 PM	#13
jhedrick83 GO VOLS! Join Date: May 2013 First Name: Jesse Location: Knoxville Posts: 402 Trading: (0)	Re: The Jewish QB Sad thing is Rex Grossman popped into my head when I started reading the joke and there is nothing funny about Rex Grossman. This could be the year though (seriously), GO BEARS!

08-21-2014, 03:52 PM	#14
RUNYYFan Life, Liberty, Happiness Join Date: Feb 2010 First Name: Marc Location: Splitting time between Dayton, NJ and Needmore, PA Posts: 360 Trading: (0)	Re: The Jewish QB l l l Very well-played. __________________ Marc Fear is the dark room in which negatives are developed. - Anon.

08-21-2014, 07:35 PM	#15
Heavy_d Feeling at Home Join Date: Jun 2013 First Name: Derek Location: Eastern, KY Posts: 878 Trading: (1)	Re: The Jewish QB As a bears fan, __________________ "maybe it's like becoming one with the cigar. You lose yourself in it; everything fades away" -Raul Julia

08-21-2014, 09:49 PM	#16
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: The Jewish QB (for the joke and the banter ) __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

08-21-2014, 10:27 PM	#17
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: The Jewish QB __________________

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